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GF(34F) and I(33M) just went on a break this morning. What do? : relationships Help me TRP!

A_Mighty_Wyn

June 26, 2013
14 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Title GF(34F) and I(33M) just went on a break this morning. What do? : relationships Help me TRP!
Author

A_Mighty_Wyn

Upvotes 14
Comments 30
Date June 26, 2013 5:06 PM UTC
(13 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1h4abw/gf34f_and_i33m_just_went_on_a_break_this_morning/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/gf34f-and-i33m-just-went-on-a-break-this-morning.234121
https://theredarchive.com/post/234121
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Comments

[–]NINETY_3 19 points20 points21 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This sounds like an awful lot of trouble to be going through for an older divorced woman with two kids. And who you haven't really been seeing that long.

She's got you bouncing around all over the place.

[–]yourlogicisflawed 19 points20 points21 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

After reading your post and comments you made, she knows what she's doing. She wantso to go on a break but keep you around to be her beta boy. She's constantly trying to frame it as you being the bad guy when the inevitable breakup happens, classic tactic to feed her hamster.

You're swimming in a sea of red flags at three months in, break it off and when she comes crawling back consider keeping her as a fuck buddy but she is not ltr material.

[–]Nutz76 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She wantso to go on a break but keep you around to be her beta boy. She's constantly trying to frame it as you being the bad guy when the inevitable breakup happens, classic tactic to feed her hamster.

Yup. This is textbook manipulation.

[–]TRP VanguardYouDislikeMyOpinion 15 points16 points17 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Jesus christ, can you just dump her already?

When did it become a requirement that you can't break up with someone if you're uncomfortable with them.

She's making your life worse. What are you, a masochist?

[–]pirateundies 9 points10 points11 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Any time we had a disagreement she would always fall back to this position. That I “just wasn’t ready for a real relationship, and needed to be free to play the field like all men do after they get divorced.”Any time we had a disagreement she would always fall back to this position. That I “just wasn’t ready for a real relationship, and needed to be free to play the field like all men do after they get divorced.”

She's projecting. This is what she wants.

Go date a 20-something and she'll come running back real quick. You should really just be done with her though.

[–]otaking 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

also:

During the course of the conversation she kept trying to shift all the decision making onto me, as well as all the responsibility for our issues.

It sounds like she wants him to be in that more distant, dominant role (usually they secretly/subconsciously cheer for it, but she's more or less vocalizing it). She wants to be afraid that OP will leave her. She wants OP to make decisions. By OP rejecting that, he just took a larger dose of the blue pill.

and, as others have said, because of the way OP handled it, she now has an easy out or free pass to find someone who does fill those needs.

[–]CRUSHzone 10 points11 points12 points 13 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

She voiced that it would be a rebound relationship for you? Seems to me that it was a bullshit excuse to use on you in case she wanted to eject. It could also be that she is projecting these feelings onto you.

I would stop with the oneitis and date as many women as you can and not become committed just yet. You recently got divorced and I don't think it is in your best interests to dive into a LTR so quickly, but what do i know?

Anyways, during this break, you should make an effort to date some randoms because she could be fucking with other dudes. And make sure you cease contact with her during your break. Don't text or call just to see how she is doing or feeling, etc, etc. Good Luck.

[–]A_Mighty_Wyn[S] 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I've been a serial monogamist my whole life, and have always dated until I got dumped. Very beta, I know. Time to grab the bull by the horns?

[–]CRUSHzone 11 points12 points13 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Now or never, brother!

[–]itsmehobnob 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The real question here is: How the fuck did you get yourself into an exclusive relationship after 3 months? Vacation to hang with her family for a week??

These are not normal things for a healthy man with options to do.

[–]Nutz76 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

with options

That's the key. I doubt he has any other plates, which is something he needs to fix.

[–]captshady 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You have:

1) Oneitis and need to get the fuck over it.

2) Very, very low self value. Man the fuck up and realize you have plenty going for you that other women will want. Three months, and she's throwing this bullshit at you? NEXT HER! You're staring at the complete course of a relationship with her.

[–]veggie_girl 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

As a woman, here is my advice:

I just got divorced this year, and she is the first/only person I’ve dated since.

You're off to a lousy start, but don't stop now while you're already back in the dating game. Find someone else. Keep dating until you find someone worth while. You already got suckered into one bad marriage, don't fall for the same shit twice. Date 100 girls if you have to, until you find one where the relationship is easy and you get everything you want out of it without it being a pain in the ass. Don't get married again unless you're in a country where the legal system respects the marriage contract. (Not the U.S.)

She has been divorced for two years, and has been in and out of relationships since

There is a reason for this. If she was high quality she would have settled down within that time but she has problems and you don't have to be the one to deal with them. From the rest of what you said it's obvious that she is going to be very high maintenance and you don't need that in your life. You need to become a filter. Date a girl, PASS her if she doesn't meet your standards. Don't get attached so easily. 3 months is nothing.

TL;DR - She's a piece of shit and isn't worth your time. This is the mindset you need to have with her. Move on. It might be a sour pill to swallow, but someone else will make you much happier than she ever would.

[–]jngshin 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Give her the break. Do your best to go out with new and different ladies. Stop caring about her.

Those are your best chances of getting what you want right now.

[–]CinnabonHotJizz 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you do? Strap on that life preserver to keep from drowning in an ocean of pussy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When I read this, I was thinking this girl is in her early 20's.....Not worth it.

[–]ANALGAPE 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She lives in a townhome her parents bought her, lives off child support ,and works very part time. To her this means she has her life in order.

She has this idea that a "good" relationship means two people who always want to be together and are madly in love.

She did you a huge favor by giving you a break. Stop responding to whatever texts she sends you for the next few weeks. Do you really want this woman in your life?

[–]mazzyTuff 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

FIND A NEW GIRL

THIS IS ALWAYS THE CORRECT ANSWER

[–]AlwaysLateToThreads 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

LISTEN TO THIS GUY HE KNOWS!

[–]A_Mighty_Wyn[S] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

When I discovered TRP, I was already "exclusive" with her. Trying to adapt and change. Not sure what my next move should be.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

break= fucking with another man.

[–]A_Mighty_Wyn[S] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If it is, then she'd have to do it this week. She's having a growth removed from her cervix on Monday, which will put her out of commission for 3 weeks.

[–]Exactly_what_I_think 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So she is sucking another dick and exploring anal for 3 weeks.

[–]Nutz76 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Or that's what she told you so you'd think otherwise. Just sayin.

[–]stackedmidgets 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"I'm having a growth removed from my cervix coincidentally when we're 'on a break.'"

Gotta give her credit for creativity.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The dude is correct. She's testing another option while keeping you dangling for now.

[–]Nutz76 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

OP's post in the other thread in case it's deleted:


My(33M) GF(34F) and I have been dating for just over three months. We started out great, and within a few weeks we were sexually active. I just got divorced this year, and she is the first/only person I’ve dated since. She has been divorced for two years, and has been in and out of relationships since. We both have two kids.

From the beginning, she has voiced her concerns that this was going to be a rebound relationship that I would quickly tire of. Any time we had a disagreement she would always fall back to this position. That I “just wasn’t ready for a real relationship, and needed to be free to play the field like all men do after they get divorced.” I have real feelings for her, but things keep getting worse. We are constantly up and down every few days.

Last night and this morning we had a loooong discussion about whether or not we could continue dating. She fell back to her usual stance, and kept pushing for a break to think things over. During the course of the conversation she kept trying to shift all the decision making onto me, as well as all the responsibility for our issues. We agreed this morning to take some time apart (2 weeks) and see if we still want to be together.

I could use help on this. I still care about her a lot, but things just keep getting worse. A lot of reading into things texted and/or said, assuming of other persons motives, passive aggressiveness, all on both sides. Is this relationship done, or is there a way to get past all the nitpicking?

I can provide more details or answer questions as needed.

TL;DR-GF has self-fulfilling prophecy. On a break to think things over. Is this a bad relationship, or can it be salvaged?

[–]Nutz76 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That I “just wasn’t ready for a real relationship, and needed to be free to play the field like all men do after they get divorced.”

She's projecting. There's a reason she's been in an out of relationships the last 2 years.

She fell back to her usual stance, and kept pushing for a break to think things over.

Women don't usually push for breaks unless they've got another guy in their sights, aka a couple fingers on the next branch.

We agreed this morning to take some time apart (2 weeks) and see if we still want to be together.

She just manipulated you into taking responsibility (she badgered you into this) so now she can screw other guys guilt-free.

tl;dr - she just saved you a heap of trouble. Be glad you're rid of her and take some time to improve yourself and bolster your game. A good starting point is to read Married Man Sex Life Primer. You need to have clear goals of what you want from a relationship and a framework for how to screen for women who'll meet said goals.

[–]A_Mighty_Wyn[S] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

MMSL is already in the mail from Amazon.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Find a 22 yo. dey better ~

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