Study: Does Apologizing Work? An Empirical Test of the Conventional Wisdom - "however, liberals and females were much more likely to say that he definitely or probably should have faced negative consequences for his statement when presented with his apology."

escapethesolarsystem · 2019-05-07T21:54:01+00:00

In public life, never apologize, it's just treated as an admission of guilt that gives the people demanding your apology more ammo to smear you with.

In private life (and relationships), only apologize if there is clear and demonstrable evidence that you did something wrong and you (not based on external pressure or guilt-tripping) believe it's the right course of action.

Never, ever, ever apologize if someone is "offended" or their "feelings are hurt". Their feelings are their problem, and they need to learn to deal with them, not your responsibility.

--

For example: If I accidentally eat the tomatoes my roommate bought for herself - there is a clear demonstrable evidence that I did something wrong (I ate someone else's food without permission). I will apologize and get her some new tomatoes.

If I say something and she says "you're so mean!" or "you hurt my feelings!", she will get no apology. She can go cry into her pillow or something.

redpillschool · 2019-05-07T14:55:11+00:00

As usual, science predicts what TRP already knows. 16 commandments of poon:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

Most men will eventually find themselves face to face with some sort of social pressure- whether it be a full scale SJW attack or simply the PTA meeting trying to get you to back down.

NEVER BACK DOWN. NEVER APOLOGIZE.

MattyAnon · 2019-05-08T10:54:10+00:00

Apologising looks weak, and it is (in a very real and legal sense) an admission of guilt.

The classic feminism attack is to demand an apology, and then say "we do not accept your apology". The apology is used as proof of guilt, and then the attacks scale up.

In all potentially legal matters: never apologise, this is an admission of guilt and will never ever absolve you or earn you forgiveness.

In interpersonal matters, where you have definitely fucked up, and where there are no legal consequences: admission of guilt and sincerely apologising for it is important. When someone I know fucks up, I give them the chance to apologise. If they don't, they're out. Without an apology I know they'll do the same thing again, so I can't trust them. With an apology they might not do it again, so they get a second chance.

But there are no third chances under any circumstances.

Recap: never apologise for anything that may have legal consequences, apology = admission of guilt.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-05-07T22:27:26+00:00

You only get two apologies for the rest of your lifetime. Use them sparingly.

DigitalDog0001 · 2019-05-07T15:05:50+00:00

If you truly feel you've done harm and have remorse, apologize. Harm is different from feelings being hurt over a truth or fact.

For the sjw crowd, learn this. "You're not offended. You're bored"

SouloftheVoid · 2019-05-08T15:31:09+00:00

This much is obvious just look at these two examples:

Grab-em by the pussy Trump never apologizes for anything, gets elected president.

Al Franken, who didn't actually do anything wrong, apologizes and gets run out of the Senate.

I guess it really comes down to frame: Trump's is rock solid and Franken's might as well have been tissue paper.

Still_I_Roam · 2019-05-08T11:59:18+00:00

I prefer to thank people: Thank you for telling me how that affects you. Or Thanks for offering me the chance to help you with that but I'm going to do something else instead. ( I do that at work sometimes if it is voluntary overtime.)

Shows empathy or understanding without an apology or responsibility for someone else's feelings. Sort of a Jedi mind trick if they're looking for an apology. Later they may realize they didn't get one.

Bear-With-Bit · 2019-05-08T02:40:26+00:00

My father never apologizes. When I point out his bullshit, he shrugs and mutters, "It's the way I am" and walks away. Now I do the same to him.

2019-05-07T15:08:25+00:00

I'd say only if the person doesn't know you very well. After a certain amount of exposure a person knows if you will change regardless of how you 'feel' about something that already happened and cannot be changed, only worked with.

EdmondDaunts · 2019-05-08T05:55:10+00:00

The phrase when someone’s feelings get hurt is “Well, good for you”. I used to get that from my parents. It’s a great line.

Imperator_Red · 2019-05-07T19:05:07+00:00

Never apologize with a leftist. Never negotiate with a leftist. The only way to deal with them is with your boot pressing on their throat while they beg for mercy. Short of that, best to ignore and avoid them.

SuperReg · 2019-05-13T03:12:17+00:00

The first thing that came to mind was Patrice O’Neal’s commentary about bombing on stage.

“Power corrupts. When people see you need their help to get out of a slump they just get worse, they want to throw the dirt on your grave. So when I’m bombing I take two grenades and run straight into the crowd.”

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