Fiancé lost respect

stoicstephen · 2019-05-11T13:42:52+00:00

She hurts my feelings time and time again

That's because you don't have frame.

I’m 29 she is 34 and it just feels the whole dynamic of the relationship is horrible and thrown off

Of course it is, you are with a woman 5 years older than you, it should be the other way around.

Yes you should go monk mode, but dont' go all rambo about it. Take it slow. Follow the 12 Levels of Dread, and do it the right way.

If I were you though I would drop the marriage. Why? Because she sounds like shit, you are shit, and your age difference is all wrong.

AA82nd · 2019-05-11T15:08:56+00:00

My wife is three years older than me. She is a successful doctor and business owner. We’ve been married 15 years and have 5 kids. She is tall, blonde, very hot and keeps herself fit. I only have a bachelors degree and work in IT, yet she frequently initiates sex and respects me and holds me in high regard. Why?

I earned her respect long ago by continuing to better myself. I lift heavy all week long, I diet right and keep my body in great shape. I do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (purple belt) all the time and compete regularly. I cook great food all the time. I take an active leading role in raising my kids and making sure they’re provided for in every way. I do these things because I genuinely enjoy it and would be doing it regardless if I was married or not.

Her respect is just the byproduct of seeing this unfold.

If you want her to respect you, just keep your mouth shut and do all the hard things that make you a better man. Don’t tell people about it or brag about it. Just do it. People will be able to tell and will respect you.

resolutions316 · 2019-05-11T15:54:52+00:00

Good news! You’re not married.

Ghost, lift, next, etc

into_being · 2019-05-11T13:43:31+00:00

You know what you’ll get if you stay and do nothing - the same but worse. Unless you’re into the Cuck/Hotwife or pegging thing... or just a troll.

You can sack up, do man shit and stop giving a fuck about what she says and thinks. Stop being sad because she doesn’t respect you.

She doesn’t respect you because you tolerate her shit and show that you don’t respect yourself. She looks down on you from the pedestal you have her on.

You could follow the boiler plate advice: read (sidebar), lift (heavy shit frequently), STFU and carry on. But, I suspect most people don’t do the hard thing. Your call.

Also, this post seems more appropriate for r/askmrp

NohoTwoPointOh · 2019-05-11T14:22:59+00:00

Not sure what monk mode allows marriage.

lifeonlockdown · 2019-05-11T16:23:23+00:00

Call it off!

If she's pulling this shit now, it sure as hell isn't going to get better after you're married, only worse. What she's doing is manipulative and abusive and designed to cut down your sense of worth and self esteem.

I can't stress enough how much you NEED to call off the wedding. Do not pass GO, do not do the 12 levels of dread, do not stick around. Get. Out.

If you loathe being around her now, think of how much you'll hate it when you're trapped in marriage and she increases the abuse even more. It WILL NOT get better!

BostonBrakeJob · 2019-05-11T16:33:11+00:00

Why ask? You, and everyone here, already knows you're gonna follow through with this marriage (after whining like a bitch to her, same way you just did to this sub).

Act like a bitch, get treated like a bitch.

ImNotSlash · 2019-05-11T13:36:51+00:00

Listen to Blue October. His path is The Path.

0kool74 · 2019-05-11T15:28:39+00:00

what tha god damn fuck is this faggot ass shit? and why the hell hasn't it been removed? this would be a shitpost even for r/asktrp

[deleted] · 2019-05-11T13:41:55+00:00

If this isn't a troll I would suggest posting in ASKMRP before you get banned for being a faggot. Fucking faggot.

kleancut · 2019-05-11T14:30:18+00:00

My wifes 3 years my senior.
How do you acknowledge your own issues but can’t fix it? Show dominant bro. Don’t get married if she views you like a bitch.
And if you call the wedding off, she’s confirming you’re bitch status. Straighten up kid!

jcrpta · 2019-05-11T15:03:13+00:00

Both.

I assume there are no kids involved at this stage? You get married, you're both going to be miserable and it'll be ten times harder to unravel everything.

What's happening is this: You are not the man you think you are; your fiancé sees this even if you don't. Realistically, it is going to take you a minimum of 1-2 years to un-fuck yourself - possibly longer - and that assumes you dive right into all the reading and work you need to do this afternoon.

Calling off the wedding will prevent you getting stuck in a miserable marriage; swallowing the pill and working on yourself is how you're going to stop yourself making the exact same mistakes in a future relationship.

Fall1n_1 · 2019-05-11T16:25:04+00:00

Simply put: she sees exactly what you ARE and not what you THINK you are. You aren't a 'man' in her eyes. She knows this and will run rough shod all over you if you stay together. Odds are she is telling you this to give you a chance to sack up and fix it. Consider yourself lucky because usually she'd just cheat/dump your ass and then you'd be posting asking why she did it. Chances are she is cheating already if not looking to monkey branch.

You know the problems so why are you here and NOT fixing them? Read the side bar and start fixing yourself NOW. It's probably to late to save this but if you do what you should have been doing then you'll be in a better spot for the next one.

0io- · 2019-05-11T16:41:46+00:00

Usually it takes years of marriage for things to get this bad. You need to call it off and spend a couple of years fixing yourself.

Title	Fiancé lost respect
Author	CllrBlohjay
Upvotes	23
Comments	14
Date	May 11, 2019 1:25 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/bnc184/fiancé_lost_respect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/fiance-lost-respect.238033 https://theredarchive.com/post/238033

Comments