Will try to keep this short but it’s hard. I’m only 18, but started applying TRP in my life slowly over the last 3 years.

Basically an old plate reported me to the police recently saying I had raped her, making up all kinds of bullshit about what happened the last time we slept with each other. I talked to a lawyer and obviously they couldn’t prove it so it worked out all right and the case was shut down. I was already the most depressed I ever had been BEFORE this happened. Improving everyday little by little right now.

However, all this has severely impacted my ability to trust myself in my actions, that I through my actions can impact people in a decent way and I’ve become more paranoid as well. I for example have trouble maintaining eye contact with girls my age because I’m afraid they will ”find out who I am” even though I haven’t really done anything. I already had some problems with social anxiety but the paranoia just goes ”THEY KNOW” sometimes when I’m talking to people and it makes me skip a heartbeat, start sweating and communication gets harder. It’s like SA x5

I feel like I’ve gotten a subconcious view of myself as a rapist from the heavy mental toll of having to go through the business with the police. I emotionally doubt myself even though I know logically that I am innocent. This really crushes me and makes me feel incredibly shitty because if I can’t assure myself who I really am, that makes me really useless

I also don’t think of myself as someone worth trusting because I put myself in that stupid ass situation from certain angles. I have a hard time reminding myself I am fully capable of doing things well, since I feel that I’m just too good at screwing things up. Meeting this girl is the worst thing I’ve done, but I’ve done many dumb things in my life and I seem to automatically add them up to dequalify myself and my good qualities right now

I have to fight really hard to maintain composure and frame these days, and my confidence is totally shattered. I only feel comfortable around a few people right now, and I feel kinda alienated. I feel like it was a good lesson, coming in at the worst possible moment ever to teach me about how ruthless this world actually is, but this has broken me to some extent. I’m slowly recovering but would appreciate any tips on how to solve these self-image problems, not making a scared dog face everytime I look myself in the eyes through a mirror. I also hope to be in good enough mental shape to start gaming new girls asap so I can move on and create new memories

Currently seeing a psychologist and lifting 3-4 times a week, have a few great very close friends I always enjoy spending time with. Really hope I can come back to school after summer without my mental health impacting my grades like last year

Edit: thanks for all the replies. means a lot to me