Failed comfort test

red-sfpplus · 2019-08-06T14:00:06+00:00

Wife works night

Going to go WAY THE FUCK OUTSIDE THE BOX ON THIS ONE.

So listen.

I have been researching sleep, how to sleep better and things related to fucking sleep for the better part of a year in an effort to treat my own anxiety, depression and insomnia.

Dropping the Tren has helped, but I digress.

The bottom line, is that people who work the graveyard shift and operate opposite of the human brains natural Circadian Rhythm are likely due to live a life which is not optimal.

This break in natural Circadian Rhythms messes with the brain, and changes our hormones inside the brain. We will be more grumpy, trigger easier, etc.

The human brain has been conditioned over many, many years of evolution to "rise with the sun, set with the sun." We are not night vision predators, we hunt during the day.

I do not believe any of this is about sex. It is about your wives shitty job, poor sleeping habits and messing with her programmed biology and natural hormone development in her brain.

If there are no ways for her to switch jobs (#1 priority) then you must eliminate all light in your rooms in which she sleeps. Be it black out curtains, duct tape to seal the gaps, whatever.

People who are together, and work opposite shifts like this IMHO, and from the research I have done - will likely never have a very successful relationship due to this fundamental change in dynamic.

When she is awake, you are asleep. When you are awake, she is sleeping, yet SHE WANTS TO BE AWAKE.

Do this over enough time, and she will succumb to sleep deprivation.

And I can tell you after many 3 day addy benders - sleep deprivation is no good.

CrazyLegs78 · 2019-08-06T13:45:42+00:00

If you don't feel like you should apologize, then don't. Reset, and play your nice card every day. Show a little comfort and concern by making a recommendation on how she could sleep better.

SelectAirline · 2019-08-06T15:38:52+00:00

I pointed this out and that she could confirm it by consulting the handy dandy security system

LOL, this is even better than spreadsheet guy!

part_wolf · 2019-08-06T15:54:31+00:00

How is this tricky? You fully realized you were a dumbass and bombed the shit test. Now you're asking us for the right answer and the right approach to fix it. The only answer is to pay more attention to what you're going to say before you say it. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

If you said something flippant and you know you shouldn't have done it, why is it so difficult to say "I shouldn't have said that" and then move the fuck on?

BobbyPeru · 2019-08-06T17:12:59+00:00

This is actually a “shitty comfort test” because the way she came at you.

Amused and quick on the math draw, I asked what was to blame for her not falling asleep for the 45 minutes

Nope, you’re just plain DEERing and in her frame completely here

First thing you need to do is get your own frame, and then you will slam dunk these effortlessly . Frame takes time

Ketonian_Empire · 2019-08-06T19:22:41+00:00

Stfu and don't focus on there ever was a fight. That is what I have been discovering with my breed of wife. Nothing happened is how I would look at it. Failed/pass who cares, it's a new fucking day. Be happy and pretend nothing happened, works out better that way.

ReddJive · 2019-08-06T15:58:05+00:00

You're arguing with men who are giving you advice.

Third shift sucks ass. You can't make her do it but you can point out how it's fucking things up. I mainly work this shift as a paramedic. And that's a volunteer gig. So yeah. I get it.

Lead her out of it to better pastures. She makes the call you lead her to the decision that's best.

As for your comfort test. It was your lack of frame that did it. You defended thinking you were deflecting a shit test. This is how this goes.

HER: can you quiet the kids I'm trying to sleep

NO FRAME. Hey grumpy you can look At the videos it proves no one was loud.

SOME FRAME: Hey. You're up. No one made that much noise you must have missed me.

SOLID FRAME:. (Smack her ass and grabbing it hard) Mmmm you didn't have to come down for some dick. You got that on speed dial. Just ring it up on your cell phone (give her a wink) Now let's go up and take care of that.

As for your flight. Send her a text.

When I get back from partying in Mexico you're next, chubby.

Don't answer her until you walk in the door.

redwall92 · 2019-08-06T13:52:09+00:00

that was a comfort test and "sorry, not getting enough sleep sucks," would probably have sufficed.

You have read some.

Do I play nice ..... ?

You clearly have not read enough. There's a book about that.

You are basing your actions on her response.

Play nice versus what? Play mean? Is that what you term "let her sweat it out"?

Do you want to play nice or play mean? Who the fuck cares? Do what you want. Hopefully you'll enjoy a trip to Mexico. Stop worrying about what cheat code to input on your phone for your wife. Stop worrying about what cheat code to input on your wife when you get home.

You do you, man.

RisingUpAgain · 2019-08-06T15:45:32+00:00

Say it was a shit test, is that how you would have handled it?

Title	Failed comfort test
Author	sledge2k
Upvotes	5
Comments	43
Date	August 6, 2019 1:38 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cmqown/failed_comfort_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/failed-comfort-test.248560 https://theredarchive.com/post/248560

Comments