Earlier this year I was dumb and decided to bleach my dyed faded henna red hair on a whim and my boyfriend was furious. Now, I've been doing my hair periodically for years and I don't think my bf of three years has ever seen me with my natural color. If he realizes it or not I dunno. The dramatic color change this time really shook him and he finally put his foot down this time.

My boyfriend hates dyed hair on a woman. He likes women with long natural hair. When I bleached my hair he stated he thought I was trying to look good for other men becides him and I don't respect what he's attracted to. I get that, which is why I didn't fight him or whine about it and I agreed to grow out my natural hair. I'm otherwise very attractive to him (petite, short, curvy in the right places, 110 lbs) so the hair is the only thing he's not pleased with.

Now, the whole thing initially looked good but was done by a very inexperienced stylist and ended up fading to straight up bright yellow/orange. Learned my lesson and I'm never bleaching again. However, the roots coming in with yellow hair started to look god awful and I knew it was going to get to the point where it was going to start looking straight up rachet and unprofessional. I kept expressing to him I wanted to at least tone down the yellow part and not touch the roots so that it looks loads better during the transition to all natural hair. He kept saying it looked fine and to keep growing it out. K.

Ladies, you know the feeling when your hair gets royally messed up. I couldn't stand to look at myself and I put up with it as long as I did because bf kept saying it looked fine and to not mess with it any more. One day I went in for a trim and the stylist told me that, yeah, it's a hot mess. I broke down and agreed to a toner which totally neutralized the yellow AND kept my roots untouched. Very happy with it. Boyfriend was not.

He blew up saying that I defy his leadership and that I'm focused way too much on my appearance. He might be on to something about that. What I didn't appreciate were the threats to reconsider the whole relationship over this. I honestly thought it was a bit much but still tried to keep a level head and see his side. He has since forgiven me but has put me on "probation". He's generally affectionate but less so than before.

He's what I would consider alpha (high earner, highly intelligent, girls come for him perfectly fine with being his plate as I once was to him). I know I need to up my game and earn his trust back. I know I messed up but ugh something just doesn't feel right.