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jreed11
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
The Friend Zone: A place made up, and inhabited solely by, men who are too timid to make a move towards what they want and too beta to break away and seek other options.
See Also: Orbit.
Edit: I realize that I didn't answer your question about how to escape. The answer is simple: Leave.
[–]metallica111 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also where you end up if you aren't physically attractiveness enough for her, but fulfill other roles.
[–]NabroleonBonaparte3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Firstly, there is a lot of material in the sidebar you should become familiar with.
Simply put, the friend zone is a one sided relationship where the female's needs are met at the detriment of the male. Best case scenario, you stick around pining for her and she keeps rejecting you. Worst case you invest both emotionally and financially in her and your life path is altered by her desires.
A man in the friend zone is an orbiter. All of his attention and actions revolve around her. He is her time hoe.
On escaping it, if you mean eliminating the suffering, it's as simple as never interacting with her again. If you mean win her over, you have to significantly raise your value in her eyes (get other girls, popularity, success, etc). But that's known as oneitus, you're obsessed with one girl who probably isn't all you make her out to be. If you truly raise your value you'll be able to get better looking and more interesting women. Why would you settle?
Just a finishing note since I get a hint that you have a female on mind with this question; If you were to try to win her over, she may enthusiastically show interest, maybe even fuck you, but you'll eventually end up at square one because she'll realize you're still whipped and did all this for her.
[–]jreed110 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This was one of the more helpful answers. Thanks. Love the username too!
[–]fnordsnord4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
The Friend Zone is where the woman gets male attention and resources, but the man doesn't get sex or romantic affection.
A man gets here two ways: he never has the guts to make a move and just sits there, spending money, time, and emotional energy on her while he waits for her to give him a signal that it's okay to make a move.
The second way is when he doesn't work up enough attractions but DOES make a move, and gets the LJBF talk. And instead of doing what's best for him, he accepts her offer of "friends" (without benefits).
I've seen a guy get out of the Friend Zone once. He left orbit and went zero contact for FOUR YEARS. He got his life squared away, dated and banged other women, and then, YEARS later, hit her up from a position of power.
That was ONCE, and it took him YEARS to reframe.
The only OTHER guys who escaped the friend zone did it by leaving her, and banging other girls, never to return.
Once they decide they "don't feel THAT way about you," there's NO WAY BACK. You are wasting your time hanging around in the friend zone.
If you want her, make a move. If she rejects you, move on to the next one.
Really. That's the only answer.
[–]Senior Contributorcocaine_face0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
There absolutely is a way back (not that you should necessarily take it, you can probably do better, and you should have abundance), it's called increasing your value.
If you just improve a little bit, sure, it's going to be solidly difficult, but if you're constantly on a warpath to build up your value, and truly don't give a fuck, the girl will notice. A man who is suddenly on the rise in life is exactly what a girl looks out for - "Oh shit, I thought he was below me, but he's not! Fuck, gotta lock that down before he realizes his value!"
[–]fnordsnord0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Well, yeah. But I think that reframing like this also calls for radio silence and a long separation. If she sees your gradual change, she will still be able to keep you crammed into the friend zone.
And I only give it a 1 in 10 chance of success. Moving on and doing better is the best way forward.
[–]sharkfinnsoup0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From my experience (M49), both of you are quite right. Having upped your value over a period of time along with "no contact", you will have amassed so many options (abundance mentality), that you no longer care. This often only enhances the woman's interest (pestering) and consequently causes you to want her even less. Thereby, can you not only escape, but come out triumphant - not in the sense that you got your revenge, but that you found better options. It does however, take time and hard work as we all know - and well worth the fruits of your endeavours. By the way - to all of you more mature gentlemen out there - lifting is not only for the younger folk. Having started 18 months ago, it's done wonders in all the respects that are often mentioned here.
[–]Senior Contributorcocaine_face0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't really agree with that.
For example, let's say you got really into weight-lifting and improving yourself overall. You don't cut her out, but it's very obvious you've stopped putting your time into her. You have met additional girls - maybe even had a solid girlfriend or a few plates for a while that she met or saw, of equal or higher attractiveness. This is over a period of 3-6 months (without breaking contact).
At a certain point in that 3-6 months she absolutely will come back after you, no break needed. She'll rightfully notice how you're ripped and hot, and you're doing better than she is.
I think your, "take a break from her, come back later" is more just about changing your attitude from beta to alpha. If you've actually shifted your behavior, you'll be fine immediately.
But again, why?
[–]sharkfinnsoup0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You have a good point there. Enjoying other women should be done mysteriously to stimulate their imagination and not humiliate them. I made that mistake once.
I have found in the past that if I work on my self, yet still struck with a little "one-itis", that I wasn't naturally improving myself to the perception of the woman in question.
[–]Senior Contributorcocaine_face0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well yeah, that's the hardest part.
I had an ex that I broke up with, and went beta on because I missed her (but I felt it was my duty to break up with her, for her own good - long story). This was post PUA but pre-Redpill.
She rejected me until I started doing comedy shows - the moment she saw me doing those, she was -immediately- like, "Oh, I want to come to your show, how are you, let's hang out", but I was still oneitising, so I fucked that up.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you are 'friends' with a woman but she does not provide any actual value to you then you are a beta orbiter.
To 'get out' of the friendzone she needs to provide value to you which isn't likely going to happen out of nowhere.
[–]imbecoming0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The thing is to never find yourself in the friendzone in the first place. Make your sexual intentions known from the beginning. I can tell if I see a girl I want to fuck, within a few seconds. ABC, always be escalating.
Build up your value and you will not be in the friendzone.
If you're a skinny fuck working a minimum wage job and no options and no value whatsoever, why would a woman want you (not saying that's you, just an example). If, over the course of a few months or a year this same guy took up weight-lifting, got a better or higher status job, maybe took up a couple cool hobbies, and started dating other girls at or higher than the girl's value in attractiveness - do you really think that that girl would even for a second put that guy, "in the friendzone" - she knows she'd be an idiot to do so, and why would the guy even care? He can do better now.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have really bad memories. :(
[–]ModRedSovereign0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Post questions in /r/asktrp.
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