Ready to bite the bullet

BRENDORVEGAS · 2014-12-21T03:58:15+00:00

First and foremost, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don't bother with it.

You're going to have deal with this winter till you get your fighting shape back. Think of this as your time to be a winter Soldier.

What you have going for you is financial stability. I'm only assuming this based on the $90k/year figure you stated earlier. We're basically the same age and I barely make a 1/3 of what you pull in a year. You've got the resources and most importantly, time, to do the things you've always wanted to do but were too busy to do. Find those things and start from there.

Do not expect society to help grown men. By design, it doesn't work that way.

There's more than meets the eye to this story so I strongly suggest therapy. But lack of father figure tells me that you've never had anyone really challenge you or get inside your head.

You getting kicked in the balls at this time in life is the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

If all else fails, head to Vegas or Amsterdam and blow $5000 on booze and whores. You need crazy in your life. I'm boring as fuck and will probably not get any pussy this year or next unless it involves a bit of luck and whiskey. Heed my warning....

Back to work. Good luck man.

NoodlesTheClown · 2014-12-21T15:22:02+00:00

You are a time/attention ho. You give people your energy without them earning it. Why? Because your mother raised to be a nice boy who is helpful and selfless. You must STOP "being there" for everyone, and you must start "being there" for yourself, because as you've learned, nobody will be there for you no matter how nice you are to them.

Your wife left because you were too available and you built her up to the point where now she thinks she can do better. She murdered your relationship, but you handed her the loaded gun.

Stay in the gym. Read the sidebar. Then read "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Then read some more, a LOT more. Most importantly, start saying "no" to people when you don't stand to substantially benefit from saying "yes".

thebluepillsucked · 2014-12-21T17:03:50+00:00

The prime years are ahead of you, 20s suck with women. They constantly hose everyone in their lives. As you have seen yourself.

My biggest piece of advice to boost your confidence, "finish what you start" dont pick 10 different things you want to improve in your life at one time, otherwise you will just lose track and give up on them all. Pick one.

When you finish that one thing, look back on how accomplished you feel and then create a plan of action for your next goal.

Obviously get in better shape then you are now and eat correctly. Get some "male" friends that "get it", understand how the world works. Use this place as a start to getting on track but dont read everythread on here and become a woman hater and never move forward with your life. This place will keep you in a holding pattern if you stay here too long

Also retire your captain save a hoe uniform, work on your own problems. Stay away from alcohol and drugs... if you can do this... life gets better, you will see and look back and laugh at how much of a moron you were before hand. Everything fixes itself if you can do this, even girls

JackGetsIt · 2014-12-21T04:13:07+00:00

Is the divorce final? If not the feelings just get worse. There's really very little you can do but absorb the pain and understand that it doesn't last forever. Keep reminding yourself of the good things you have going for you. Those are your foundation for regrowth. Yes a counselor can help but shop around and be open with them at the beginning of the session about your goals and belief systems.

itsxeno · 2014-12-21T05:38:04+00:00

OP - Is one of the books you've read No More Mr. Nice Guy?

pewpewing · 2014-12-21T10:52:37+00:00

Weight loss, fitness, hobbies, make more money. You'll live. Not to sound unsympathetic but some people have much bigger problems. Good luck.

yummyluckycharms · 2014-12-21T16:29:31+00:00

To elaborate further on what other people have said, I want you to remember one mantra.

My life is about me - my energy, my efforts, my love will always be focussed on me.

Look back at your life and see how your ex wife, friends all acted - notice a pattern? They were already living that mantra - your wife took what she needed from you and then ditched you (briffaults law). Your friends only call you when they need something from you. I bet at work a simililar pattern exists.

Next, I want you to devote effort into rebuilding yourself. I believe in the working on the three parts of ones life - physical, emotional, and intellectual. Lifting is great and should be done before trying to pick up chicks (at 270 - you wont be picking up quality women). Pick up new hobbies and learn new things, which will help improve your intellectual side. Between lifting and learning a new hobby, much of your stress in your life will be lessened. Emotionally, you'll also will find that as you branch out into new things, you'll meet new people. They'll be attracted to you because they'll see that vitality and because you are now more well rounded. But perhaps the greatest thing is that with that mantra as your road map, you'll feel like your life will have purpose again

P.S - a good way to give yourself a quick daily pick up is to remember this acronym - ABCD. Always Be Cultivating Development in ME.

TheDukeofHavoc · 2014-12-21T10:34:37+00:00

Be patient. You know what you have to do: lose weight, and learn to foster a mentality of assertiveness and fearlessness. All of this takes time, but you have to take the first steps now.

monkeyman114 · 2014-12-21T16:29:38+00:00

dating "Bootcamps" are all scams, just like all PUA in general. I would like to think you're smarter than that. You just have to get back into single life, its quite different than married life. I once had an LTR and it freaked me out at first I had this woman sleeping in my bed, then when she left I freaked out I was sleeping alone.
You're dealing with familiarity issues, you fell into a comfortable routine with your wife and boom it was gone suddenly. You have to get back into single guy mode, there are plenty of books on how to be single again.

RobertCarraway · 2014-12-21T19:50:10+00:00

At times I think that I’ll be okay in social situations once I lose all the weight but then get depressed thinking that it’ll take at least a few months and what the fuck would I do in that period?

This is your biggest problem. Not the weight. You can't wait/suffer for two months? TWO MONTHS? Man you need to get tougher with a lot of people in your life; starting with yourself.

Work on your warrior mentality. That involves saying fuck you to the people who have undervalued you, and it involves saying a BIG fuck you to yourself for EVER feeling self pity. EVER.

carnage_panda · 2014-12-21T21:57:11+00:00

She left. You need to get over it. I went for two long years pining over this girl that left and cut off contact, but the reality is that you just have to get over it. Cut your losses. Most people think that the most economic thing to do is try to salvage things when a lot of times just replacing is more economically valuable. This is the same situation. Don't let your emotions rule your life.

Get in the gym and start doing some cardio. Change your diet, and stop eating so much dorito's and pumping mountain dew down your throat. You're only going to spend 1-2 hours a day at the gym, it's not that time consuming. Get your shit in order before you go on the prowl again.

Ap_Ercino · 2014-12-21T16:55:51+00:00

"I really want to move on with my life, meet new people, make new friends who actually give a shit about me, ask me questions about my life, whats bothering me, how am I holding up"

You're expecting too much from people. The only person who can give a shit about you, is you. You need to stop depending on others for validation. Don't do things or give time/things to people because you expect time/shit in return. Do so because you want to.

oldredder · 2014-12-22T00:38:25+00:00

short reply but it really will help you: RSD videos on youtube, I tend to stick to the Todd / hotseat ones but whatever, they're all good. Lots of good stuff from Tyler on RSD (real social dynamics) as well. Someone in the last few days posted this one https://vimeo.com/114768301 (password TRP) which is now private on youtube.

Todd's youtube is https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTodd/videos and for the most part I have fav's I keep on hand for sharing:

http://youtu.be/JuEgdc7ujXw escalate physically & never hear no,infield footage
http://youtu.be/RilMoqc3zwg infield,supercharge your personality,attract women
http://youtu.be/oRSMySpo19c hotseat infield,get girls attention
http://youtu.be/HfUI3ZIWpz0 open-any girl,anywhere,anytime,master social calibration

And this one queues up at 8 min 30 sec but watch from there and then re-watch from the start.

2chainzFLEX · 2014-12-22T06:47:10+00:00

Some very good advice:

Start becoming passionate about lifting/fitness and make it a good time of your day, once that becomes a habit, you will look/feel so much better, and a better body is a hell of a lot more confidence.

Start boxing or learn to fight. Manliest thing possible and the mental/physical benefits are amazing. Imagine walking into a bar and being able to kick 90% of peoples asses. Thats a great way to get respect from everybody.

Cut out all the shit from your diet. Soda, alcohol in excess, fatty foods. You'll feel better.

All self aware guys are on the same path, so stay strong.

Im really lucky i only just turned 20 so heres my 2 cents.

Title	Ready to bite the bullet
Author	CSThrowAway2014
Upvotes	20
Comments	35
Date	December 21, 2014 3:07 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2pxx34/ready_to_bite_the_bullet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/ready-to-bite-the-bullet.26736 https://theredarchive.com/post/26736

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