Q4BP What should a man expect out of a relationship?

ianturpiesmoustache · 2015-08-30T10:31:56+00:00

Exactly what he puts into it. Almost every piece of advice I can think of for a man is the same thing I'd say to a woman. Put effort into making yourself someone your partner enjoys spending time with, don't expect anything from them you're not willing to do yourself, make sure they know you care for and appreciate them, share responsibilities (cooking/cleaning/finances, etc.), have sex often and well.

wtknight · 2015-08-30T12:02:04+00:00

In my relationships my partner is like a best friend who I am also sexually attracted to. I expect the same type of support yet independent life that I expect from a male best friend, but with the addition of sexual monogamy. It makes no difference whether it's a perfect world or a reality scenario. This is what I expect and if there is nobody I know that I feel like is a female best friend who I'm also sexually attracted to, then I stay single.

ppdtossaway · 2015-08-30T13:20:29+00:00

That depends entirely on the man, woman, and relationship in question. Some men will expect monogamy, some men won't. Some men will expect 50-50 contribution of income, some men won't. Some men will expect children, some men won't.

For the sake of conversation, this is how the expectations are laid out in my relationship.

He expects of me:

Monogamy
95%+ of the household cooking. We go out once or twice a month, the rest of the time, I cook.
Contribution of whatever income I can. I only work part-time while I go to school, so right now it's not a whole lot. From my leftovers after my tuition payment goes through, I buy 50% of the groceries and household goods, buy 100% of my personal expenses (makeup, shampoo, toothpaste, feminine hygiene products, clothes), and put 100% of the rest of it into the savings account.
I get my birth control implant replaced on time every 3 years. No babies. The relationship ends no fault if one of us decides we want kids and the other doesn't.
Equal or greater contribution to household chores. Some weeks I take on more because he's busier, other weeks he takes on more because I'm busier. It works out to be about equal.
Regular sex. For us, that's 3-4 times a week.
Stay in therapy, support group, and on medication. I'm not a good partner when I'm ill.
Be emotionally available, willing to listen to his problems, express empathy, and give cuddles whenever needed.
Take his wants, needs, and feelings into consideration when I make decisions.
Just be there. Make time for him. Don't be out all the time without him, don't be on my phone reading Reddit while he's trying to talk to me, don't ignore his physical advances.

I expect of him pretty much all of the same things. I expect more financial contribution while I'm finishing my degree, but that will change once I have graduated and move to full-time employment.

crankypants15 · 2015-08-31T09:54:13+00:00

Also what is reasonable for a woman to expect out of a man?

Reliability, honesty, good communication. The foundation of a relationship is good communication. But that requires that both people know what they want in the relationship first.

In perfect world how would structure your relationship?

She makes my perfect dinner, BJ, then my favorite TV show and we snuggle.

in reality how would structure your relationship?

She already makes my perfect dinner, then BJ, then we snuggle with my favorite TV show. But I also make sure she gets what she needs. She likes lots of time and attention. And I make sure she gets it. Relationships are not one way.

If she wanted me to wear a batman suit and rescue cats I'd do it. But only because she makes me very happy, she actually cares about me.

Title	Q4BP What should a man expect out of a relationship?
Author	wazzup987
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	August 30, 2015 9:48 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3ixwg0/q4bp_what_should_a_man_expect_out_of_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4bp-what-should-a-man-expect-out-of-a.279950 https://theredarchive.com/post/279950

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