tl;dr: Went on a class spring break trip with my platonic best friend. We're not partiers, but we didn't want to miss a chance to travel and have fun before graduating. My friend mentioned going to the gym this fall and winter, but shocked everyone when she hit the beach in her bikini. Neither of us are athletic, so I was blown away by how good she looked.

"Coincidentally", our classmates were much friendlier than expected. We'd planned to do our own thing, but the party crowd invited us to join pretty much all their activities. My friend was happy to take part. This led to her getting wasted, acting out of control in public, and likely cheating on her BF. I tried to make the best of the situation, but our friendship has suffered. We haven't really spoken since getting back. Is there a lesson I should take away from this... do I do anything proactive to address it? Thanks.


One of my closest friends since grade school is Gale. We never dated or had a romantic relationship. We've been mistaken for brother and sister, though, since we're both chubby, with brown hair and dark complexion ("dark" for white people standards). We also get mistaken for gamers a lot, which is ironic since neither of us likes video games. In grade 10, Gale started dating Amit. He's a big friendly guy who actually likes games, but doesn't have much free time now that he's in med school.

Last summer, Gale and I started talking about going on our school trip to Dominican. Despite being part of the graduating class, we're not the type of people who usually go on that trip. It's mainly kids who like to party. Our idea of fun is more like shopping for records or watching movies. I can't remember if the spring break idea came from something I said, but Gale got serious about it, and we eventually decided "let's go". We could use the class discount, and still have a fun vacation on our own terms. Amit couldn't take time off school, but he was happy we wanted to go.

During fall and winter, Gale used the trip as motivation to get in better shape. She signed up at a gym for the first time. Around November, she mentioned hiring a trainer. I was impressed that she seemed to stick with it. By March, she was still hitting the gym every week. Even when she wore her typical baggy clothes, she looked thinner. Suddenly, I was going to be the only one with a double chin!

We got pretty psyched up the night before leaving. We made a huge collection of songs to be our soundtrack. At the airport and on the plane, we kind of avoided the "party people", who were already drinking and carousing by noon on the first day. We chose to stay at a different hotel than most of the class. It was really fun getting settled the first night... playing music, ordering room service, and watching badly-dubbed movies on TV.


When we hit the beach the next morning, things got weirder. After organizing our towels, snacks, etc., Gale took off her shirt and shorts, and stuffed them into her bag. Underneath, she'd already put on a bikini. It wasn't skimpy in the sense of showing off a ton of skin. It actually covered up a lot of areas, and used extra padding to create a look that was much more flattering. Gale (or a woman at the store) must have taken care to find the perfect bathing suit. I couldn't remember her telling me any stories about shopping for bikinis, though.

The other revelation was that Gale was in amazing shape. By Hollywood model standards, someone might say she still needed another few months at the gym, but I wasn't expecting her to look nearly that fit. The previous summer, we'd both had similar, non-athletic bodies. Now she was walking around with an almost-flat stomach, as well as arms and legs you'd have to call "toned". The big surprise was her breasts, which never stood out when she was chubbier, but were very prominent in connection with her skinny body and push-up bikini top.

Gale didn't look surprised that I looked surprised. I tried to act cool, but my eyes must have been huge when I complimented her outfit. She wanted to change topics, so we went back to organizing our food and reading material. Unlike at the airport or hotel, the vibe immediately changed. People were suddenly waving as they walked by, making comments about the weather, asking where we were from, and so on. Rather than happily zoning out, I had to keep shutting off my music when they talked to us. I'd never been to such a "friendly" beach before, and it was easy to tell what was happening. Instead of admitting it, though, Gale kept mentioning how "nice" the people were. She didn't acknowledge that it could have anything to do with how amazing she looked in her bikini.


It was only a matter of time before we crossed paths with our classmates. A couple of stoner guys playing frisbee ran into us first. We'd sat beside them at the departures lounge without saying a word, but they came right up and asked how we liked the resort, whether we wanted to play frisbee, what our plans for later were, etc. I spoke politely to them... but Gale acted as if we'd all been friends for a long time. The one guy who brought his phone saved our numbers, in case we needed to make plans later.

After the stoners left, we went swimming. Another visitor came by about an hour later. This time it was a dude named Mike from the football team. He seemed to "coincidentally" bump into us, but I got the sense he'd already spoken to the frisbee guys. I don't know if Mike would ordinarily even know our names, but he called out to us by name when he saw us. Unlike the stoner guys, he was shredded enough to look completely at home on the beach. He kept encouraging us to go swimming, but we had to say we'd just been in the water. He told us the rest of his friends were further down the beach, and we should join them. Gale saw no problem with that, so I politely agreed.

We followed Mike's directions and ended up in a scene right out of a spring break movie. The popular kids from class were there... blasting music, acting drunk, "looking good". When we arrived, I noticed Gale get nervous for the first time that day. She was probably feeling the same anxiety I'd been feeling since 10 in the morning. One of the hottest girls, Shauna, put her at ease by giving her a big hug. Shauna barely made eye contact with me, but offered to get us drinks (vodka and mixer). She proceeded to chat with Gale about DR as if they'd planned the whole trip for months. Along with the vodka, this quickly broke the ice. It wasn't long before Gale was laying back and shooting the shit like a regular part of the gang.


I winced when a jerky guy named Jamie joined the conversation. He didn't play any sports, but somehow looked more ripped than Mike with his shirt off. Besides ignoring us at school, Jamie had outright harassed me a few times. It was funny that he wanted to act like buddies now. Eventually, Jamie announced that he was picking up more booze from the hotel. He offered to let someone else tag along. Shauna suggested that Gale should go with him, so Jamie could show her where the rest of them were staying. Once again, Gale thought this sounded logical. She asked if I wanted her to pick up anything along the way. I couldn't think of any anything, so she just said to watch her stuff and "try to relax."

Nobody talked to me much while Gale was away. I saw one or two people get up and leave. Gale and Jamie got back after a couple of hours. She looked hammered; Jamie slightly less so. He occasionally put a hand on her waist to keep her propped up. Gale crawled onto her towel and muttered something about how nice the other building was. She was evidently too drunk to do anything but sleep. They let me bring her back to our hotel. My night involved listening to a variety of gross noises coming from the other side of the bathroom door.

Looking at the big picture, I understood what had happened at the beach. I didn't blame Gale. We spent the whole next day lounging around our room while she recovered from her hangover. I brought back greasy food from a takeout restaurant, read some magazine articles to her, and generally tried to make the situation pleasant. In the end, it was the kind of low-key afternoon we'd normally spend together, only in Punta Cana.


The next morning wasn't so low-key. Gale came to breakfast wearing the same bikini, with a pajama shirt on top. Before we'd finished eating, she was already taking off her shirt and complaining about the heat. Right then, a couple of classmates stopped by. They let us know everyone would be playing volleyball in about an hour. Gale promised we'd be there. In front of the volleyball nets, we found the same group of people as the day before. Mike, Jamie and the rest of them shouted out greetings. Shauna came over with another friendly hug for Gale. We got assigned to teams and played fairly well. Gale is good at sports like that.

At some point, Shauna grabbed Gale by the wrist and they ran off. Shauna had packed a bathing suit that didn't fit right, but she thought it would be "perfect" for Gale. They were gone for at least an hour. When they returned, Gale was wearing a bikini that was way, way skimpier than the one she'd bought herself. It may have been less flattering – due to showing off too much of the wrong stuff – but she was receiving too much positive attention from Shauna and the guys to even care. She and Shauna tried reinserting themselves in the volleyball game. Apparently, they'd been drinking while they changed clothes. Gale accidentally knocked the ball in another teammate's face, which everyone found hilarious. She was very uninhibited about jumping around and bending over, while wearing the bathing suit equivalent of a thong.

The two girls eventually retired to the sidelines, where they stretched out on lounge chairs and made comments about the game. Mike was in the middle of serving when Shauna yelled to him, "Mike, darling, we need you to bring us drinks. We're too exhausted." He walked over and attended to them, winning Shauna's approval, "Thanks Mikey, we love you!" I went from feeling uncomfortable to feeling angry. It wasn't just because I was getting ignored. I didn't think Amit would be happy if he knew this was how were spending our vacation. Everything that happened in DR was private between Gale and myself, but my conscience was bothering me.


Most people from school were drunk by mid-afternoon. I suggested to Gale that we recuperate back at our hotel. She seemed to think I was being a wet blanket. She said it was up to me. When everybody decided to leave the beach, I went home for a nap. She stayed with the rest of the group. I didn't hear from her again until 3:00 in the morning. I remember being woken up by a guy's loud voice, and the sound of Gale dropping her things around the room before collapsing into bed.

Gale was practically comatose the next day. I went to the beach by myself, explored the town, ate at a cool restaurant... had a decent time overall. When I came back to the room, she was either lying in bed with the covers over her head, or talking on the phone in a croaky voice. I ordered room service for dinner, which she seemed to appreciate. Waking up early the final morning, going through customs, and sitting on the plane together was a cold experience. By that time, Gale had turned the tables and was trying to accuse me of "pouting". It was true that I was being quiet, but only because she got extremely cagey and distant every time I asked what had happened the night she came home at 3 AM.

Once we were in the air, Shauna came over and said there was a free seat up front, next to the other people from class. Gale agreed to go keep her company. Humorously, the bathroom was located behind my seat, so they all had to pass me whenever they took a leak. The guys were pretty friendly about it, asking me how I was doing each time they walked by. Shauna didn't even look at me when it was her turn. I got essentially the same treatment from Gale, who'd discarded her long-sleeve shirt and was stumbling down the aisle in the tank top she wore underneath. A lady in my row stared daggers at her, watching Gale bump into other peoples' chairs and giggle about it. They were obviously enjoying their cocktails up front.


At baggage claim, Gale said she didn't want my brother to drive her home, because she felt embarrassed about being tipsy. Shauna recommended they split a taxi, instead. When I left to go find my brother, they were strolling around the airport with Jamie and another guy carrying their bags. I haven't said much to Gale since we got back. She seems to be coasting through her classes and not coming to school very often. A couple weeks ago, she texted me about getting exam notes for a class I took the previous year.

I saw Gale in person last week. I was parking my car and she was standing next to the lot, with a group of people from the Dominican trip. I didn't recognize her at first. Her curly hair was totally straight. She was also wearing unusual clothes – a stretchy tank top and booty shorts that left little to the imagination. I'm pretty sure she noticed me, but turned in another direction when I walked past. I guess my class notes weren't important enough to come over and say hi.

I've heard of people "changing", but becoming an entirely different person in less than a week seems nuts. I'm finding it hard to let go of such a close friendship, and I don't know what to do about Amit, either. He's still busy at med school, but has contacted me to ask how our vacation went... and also ask if everything is OK with Gale. I've been pretty vague when answering him. It will probably be a matter of time before Amit reaches his own conclusions. I thought about writing Gale a letter to let her know how I feel. Maybe that's just a waste of time? Feel free to suggest how you'd handle it... I've never come up against something like this before.

Thanks