Who is the biggest influence on your life and how have they shaped how you view the world?

alphabetmod · 2014-07-03T02:53:30+00:00

My stepfather. He was a military man that looked like a pit bull in human form. He taught me to shoot, to fight, to shake hands like a man, and just instilled the virtues of masculinity into me in general. He taught me lessons like to not ask another man to do for you what you haven't at least tried for yourself.

Because of him, I feel like I have a better understanding of what it means to be a man in general. What he taught me boils down to "be responsible for yourself".

He didn't have much to do with me and "pills", but he certainly influenced my opinions on masculinity and manliness.

myfriendscantknow · 2014-07-03T02:26:25+00:00

It's a cliche I know, but Carl Sagan. I'm not sure if he ever addressed gender in a political way, and that about reflects how important all this pill stuff is to me (i.e. it isn't). I do remember in Cosmos him talking about Hypatia of Alexandria, who was a martyr for science and a woman, and that was very evocative and her character seems out of sorts with what TRP asserts about women, but that's about it.

Edit: Scratch that. There was a person who influenced me in a material way as much if not more than Sagan. I suppose I haven't really told the complete story of me yet, just bits and pieces. Guess I'm worried about being doxxed (please don't doxx me). But fuck it, I'm liquored up and in a storytelling mood. Let's call her Blue (cause she had blue hair when we met. creative, I know.)

All throughout high school and for the first few years of college, I was the quintessential neckbeard. I had bad hygiene, atrocious fashion (I literally wore a fedora... and a trench coat), no social skills, and definitely no dating prospects. This was my life for my entire youth, and it's not like I was okay with it. It fucking sucked and it made me bitter and hate the world.

One day I up and decided this shit wasn't working out. I was horny, and interested in casual sex, and decided I wanted to be a person who had it. I started to get my act together and groom myself and stopping the wearing of the dragon shirts, and I started to practice talking to women, going to bars and stuff to do it when I turned 21.

Eventually, I was ready to have some casual sex, and after swallowing my fear, I asked a classmate who I was told had a reputation as an easy lay for her number. I got it. Now, I wasn't a virgin technically at this point, but I might as well have been considering my dismal romantic history and meager two sexual encounters. Long story short, we hooked up for some very rudimentary sex that I'm sure was pretty uninspiring for her (at least I gave her some head lol) but absolutely mind-blowing for me at the time, and we hooked up a couple times after that. After this first hookup, a few more followed, slowly. I started to go to a few parties, too, and I decided I really liked parties. Then, at one party, I was introduced to Blue by a mutual acquaintance, and that's when this long ass story no one's gonna read really starts.

Blue and I talked for hours. She was so cool, and so pretty, and so interesting, and to top it off she seemed genuinely interested in me as a person. I was mega-infatuated. We chopped it up about sex and stuff and she seemed really fascinated by my journey so far. I learned that she was "sex-positive" (at the time, I had never heard of such a thing) and really into casual sex, and a hard domme. That got me really excited, I had never really encountered BDSM outside of porn, but I knew I like the thought of being dominated. I really wanted her, but I still had a lot of self doubt and anxiety to get over, so I figured someone so awesome would never be interested in me. But she was, and she ended up saying "so are you going to ask me for my number or what dude?" God how I stammered after hearing that lol. She just smirked and looked at me sideways. God she was fucking cool.

The first night with her showed me immediately that the sex I had been having was pathetically basic. She was the Hulk Hogan of sex, and showed me what it is to be ravished. I honestly expected that to be the end of it, but a few days later the phone rang and we set up another hookup. I couldn't believe my luck, but we became FWBs. During that year and a half, she taught me so many things. Not just about sex, but she actually taught me how to navigate the world of casual sex and party going. I couldn't believe it, the woman I was having regular sex with was showing me how to get with other women lol. She also taught me to love myself in ways I didn't before. She built me up and balanced me mentally, she was a really good friend.

Then she had to move to another state. I was destroyed. I couldn't follow her, we weren't in a relationship. But I would have if she asked. I would have been her 24/7 slave dynamic life partner if she asked. But that wasn't her speed. I was so hurt and depressed about her leaving that I cut contact with her...

For years, that decision haunted me. It was my number one source of guilt and regret, and I thought about it every day for years. It took me a long time to even have sex again, even though I had a network of hookups (thanks to what she taught me).

It was actually this year I got back into contact with her. She harbored no resentment, which was such a load off my mind. She said she gets it, and even felt bad that she put me through such emotional pain (of course, it wasn't her fault at all, just my inability to handle my emotions lol) She has kids and a husband now! That was hard to picture lol. I'm so happy I got back ahold of her. We're facebook friends now, but will probably never meet in person again. She lives a long ways away, and it might be weird cause of the whole married thing (for TRPers who wanna call beta bux, know that this was a former casual flame she married, a submissive slut himself, and fully aware of her history and proclivities. Not to mention she makes pretty good money herself.)

Sorry for the wall of text. I've been drinking a bit and got all nostalgic. She's by far the most important person I've ever met who didn't raise me, and I'll be eternally grateful for the man she taught me to be.

jerryandjerrysizzler · 2014-07-03T02:34:42+00:00

My dad, who demonstrated what happens to aging beta males in explicit detail.

goatismycopilot · 2014-07-03T00:31:43+00:00

Well, I would have to say my grandmother, like many people in her generation she had to endure some pretty tough challenges, she was loving but pragmatic, and I definitely inherited or learned that pragmatic tilt from her. She was an ordinary person but pretty interesting she retained a sense of curiosity her whole life. She had a good sense of humor, she could find a sense of amusement in some difficult things. I think she shaped me in that I still see or hear things and think hmmmmm what would grandma say about that. I am not sure how it ties into my "pillness".

Exner2 · 2014-07-03T01:57:05+00:00

My mom. She is a feminist who grew up in poverty, pulled herself out of it entirely on her own, has multiple degrees, and a career she loved. I always admired those qualities.

One thing that also influenced me, however, was her unhappiness in her marriage to my dad. My dad is a lovely, but extremely passive, man. Less "beta" than disengaged. So I knew I wanted someone who would really be an equal partner.

fiat_lux_ · 2014-07-03T04:40:39+00:00

Parents. I'm pretty sure that is true for most people, whether that influence is positive or negative.

I was born into their poverty. I was forced to move around a lot with them. Live through the various places with them, through various burdens: finances, extended family, friends, etc. I didn't get to stay around friends for too long. Their frustrations, anger, all that bad stuff spilled on to me. I was very often jealous and bitter about where I was in life.

I think my childhood was pretty miserable primarily as a result of where we started off, but everything turned out all right.

For example, I think the fact that I moved around so often made me easy to get along with IRL. ^{^I'm ^not ^nearly ^as ^stuck ^up, ^officious, ^or ^stuffy ^offline ^as ^I ^am ^online.} I learned to get along with people quickly in limited time. I'm not picky about who I associate with. I can generally talk about anything and enjoy talking about it. I can adopt new interests quickly. I get invited out a lot even by relatively new friends/acquaintances. And I've had pretty satisfying relationships.

How it relates to some of the discussions here... I guess it makes me sympathize and side more with people who want to change who and where they are in life. No one should be forced to stick with what they won through a dice roll.

If a woman wants to use makeup or get plastic surgery, more power to her. If a guy wants to put up a facade, more power to him. It's deceptive and dishonest in a way, but I'm generally more forgiving of that due to my own experiences.

[deleted] · 2014-07-03T12:51:11+00:00

My dad- the kind of man TRP would hate. He was a doormat. Kind as hell and smart, but he would let people walk the fuck all over him all the time and he still does. Love the hell out of him though. Other than that, he's a great person.

My mom kinda sucks as a human being, but she works hard. She and dad were always empathetic.

ETA: My mom actually fucked my dad over. She had kids with him, divorced him, then seriously took his money and left him with a ton of debt. The SECOND woman he married did the same, however they had no children. I should think women are terrible, but I do not. I should have a bad outlook on both genders, haha. I do not.

My own kid. Because of the bad characteristics of my parents, I viewed the world and people kind of poorly, honestly. I was a shit head. I felt like I'd been shat on, really. Then I had my kid. Then I realized that if I want her to respect herself, I better start acting like I respect myself.

Then I kinda did start to do that. Then I stopped feeling like I'd been shat on. Because I was given all the tools from the get-go to be a decent human being and I just needed someone to say "HEY FUCKTARD! USE THOSE DAMN TOOLS!" I ended up saying that, I still fucking say that sometimes.

I had to start seeing wonderful things in the world to point out to my kid. Even little things.

I had to display a million characteristics that I did not have, but that I wanted her to have. This is where "fake it 'til you make it" seriously worked in my favor.

I'm not a feminist. I'm not Red Pill. I want everyone to get along. Everyone. That's the kind of world I want my kid to live in.

Guess that's all.

[deleted] · 2014-07-03T18:54:57+00:00

This might be weird, I don't exactly have a role model but I'm reading about arnold right now and his story is very interesting.

perpetuallycurious · 2014-07-03T04:21:52+00:00

Not to give a typical cheesy answer, but my mom. She had me when she was 17, and then both my sisters before her 21st birthday. My dad left us while she was pregnant with my youngest sister, essentially leaving her with three young kids to raise on his own with no money.

On top of that, she's in a wheelchair and can't walk, but she has never let that limit her or inhibit her abilities. She was a member of the Canadian woman's national basketball team and attended school when she could. Things were difficult at time, but if there is one thing she taught me it's that most excuses are bullshit and that I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect from everyone. I love that woman.

Bakerofpie · 2014-07-03T04:25:13+00:00

I didn't start appreciating my dad until later in life, though now he has a huge impact on my worldview, but I think SO MUCH of who I am is because of my uncle (mom's youngest brother). I just thought he was the coolest person in the world and looked up to him so much. He used to drive a hearse just as his normal car. Everything he owned was vintage and he kept weird taxidermy shit and basically looked like he lived on the set of a 40's to 60's horror film. Vintage macabre. I wanted to be just like those girls in the pinup photos who baked and sewed, and I wanted a weird man who would like me to make weird things for him that he could only get from me.

He was my image of a stereotypical manly man, and now that I'm thinking about it it's weird how similar some of his traits are to my husband. Cheap as fuck - buys broken shit because it's cheap and then they turn around and fix it to either keep or sell for a profit. Horribly dark sense of humor. Hilarious, but sometimes alarmingly stoic. Strange but specific sense of fashion. Doesn't deal with the antics of slutty women. Extremely helpful and thoughtful, but NOT a pushover and refuses to grant any of their resources to anyone who doesn't deserve it. Very traditional at heart, but with a definite "weird" edge.

[deleted] · 2014-07-03T15:13:55+00:00

My mum.

She grew up poor and all her family told her she'd never amount to anything. Today she is a manager at a massive company making a lot of money. She takes shit from no one and uses a lot of tough love. She did all she could to teach me to do things for myself and do even better than she did in life. There have been times when I have hated her for things she's said and done, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she had some kind of personality disorder considering her upbringing, but she still made something out of herself and never let anyone tell her she couldn't.

The entire way I live my life and view the world was influenced by her but to link this with the "pills" this is also why I don't take either red pill or blue pill (modern day feminists) seriously. Red pill says women can't have a family and a career and they shouldn't try. Feminists say women are super oppressed in the first world and teh man is holding them down maaaan. I laugh at both sides because my mum raised me well while starting a very successful career and she began that career many decades ago when society was still genuinely sexist.

So it's thanks to her I can see clearly red pillers and feminists are both just looking to blame the other gender for their own failures. And if you ask me, and I'm sure she'd agree too, those people should stop looking for others to blame and take some fucking responsibility for their own lives. If you live in the first world the only thing holding you back from achieving what you want is yourself. Anything else is scapegoating and weakness.

Title	Who is the biggest influence on your life and how have they shaped how you view the world?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	July 2, 2014 8:37 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/29oj9e/who_is_the_biggest_influence_on_your_life_and_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/who-is-the-biggest-influence-on-your-life-and-how.285384 https://theredarchive.com/post/285384

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