Started spending less and less time with my girlfriend.

jonsmif9797 · 2019-10-07T09:47:07+00:00

Good job!

Now you are in the phase of having a mission, and you value yourself more.

There's a subtle difference between constantly chanting that girls should not be the priority of your life and subconsciously feeling that there are more important things to do than spending time on girls.

Anyone else ever felt like they needed a break like this? I just wanted to pull myself away and just spend time for me, and get my life in order.

It's not a "break". It's called a healthy lifestyle and maturity, or using the laymen terms, "putting yourself first without being an asshole".

DetroitGangster · 2019-10-07T11:53:51+00:00

I am in the same boat! Recently, have noticed my frame slipping because of the comfort of my LTR. I don't want to keep slipping further so decided to enroll in some extracurricular activities that will help me boost my SMV and limit my availability to my LTR. Win-win situation!

RobEAFrost96 · 2019-10-07T13:42:41+00:00

My ex and I broke up for this reason as well as others, but yes, living together and spending all time together gets bad quickly, it's only sustainable when you're older and ready to settle down.

You did a smart thing OP

i-am-the-prize · 2019-10-07T14:36:09+00:00

it is a positive thing.

she will appreciate you more (ie: you have options and are busy; so when you choose/are able to be with her, it's a treat)
you will appreciate her more, as it's not an all the time thing/chore

the converse is also true= a man with no life and no options is not a Prize to her. If you give away your Time and Attention constantly, it's like cheap costume jewelry, handed out like candy. When your time/attention/affection is truly scarce, not because of games or faking it, but because you are a busy and active person, your time is your Gold, and she gets that and appreciates it more.

This assumes you are a high value male. Be a loser and she'll be glad you're out of her hair. Don't be low SMV loser and her attraction will increase and she'll (GASP) be actually happy to see you.

DerpJungler · 2019-10-07T16:52:13+00:00

Read "The way of the superior man".

It goes into great detail about how a man should always prioritize his purpose ahead of his woman and that his woman will love him for it.

Deep down, women WANT to feel assured that you're focused on your purpose, as it gives them the sense of security and that you will always be a provider for her and your seed, which is a good thing in LTRs.

Emit_M · 2019-10-07T13:39:45+00:00

Funny I’m reading this minutes after I told my Girl friend I need a break ;)

milkywaymaster226 · 2019-10-07T15:36:50+00:00

OP, what have your results been so far?

I established the frame you describe from the beginning of my LTR, but sometimes I think about the balance between comfort and being a scarce commodity. Making yourself busy and spending less time can come off as game playing to some broads when they are already used to seeing you frequently.

Buchloe · 2019-10-07T16:27:25+00:00

Feel you on that. Hit a point with a plate where it ended up being more of a primary relationship, and we were needing to take a break. However, instead of opening things up and being in less of a relationship, we decided to be more committed in the relationship but to take more time to ourselves instead of being around each other so much. That way we can have that underlying relationship and be there for each other, without so much pressure on anything.

juccal · 2019-10-07T17:43:17+00:00

I think you need to be on your own a little, if you were with your girlfriend 24/7 you won't know how you feel without her being there, Perhaps a little time apart will help you realize how you both feel about each other, you better doing it now before it goes any further.

BouncyShroom · 2019-10-07T20:42:31+00:00

I was going through something similar too

Around 6 months ago pre-LTR, I was lifting and taking care of my health. I am was in the process of losing weight, and things were going good and I was feeling amazing mentally.

Somehow ended up in a LTR with a girl, who didn't really match my goals. She was large, and smoked a load of weed. I'd kicked those habits ages ago because they only had a detrimental impact to me.

In those 4 months we'd been together, I had stopped exercise. My diet went south because we'd just go out and eat shit. She was fat, so didn't really care for her health. My weekends, which usually consisted of going for long walks/hikes in the morning and working on my hobbies, ended up with me visiting her and doing nothing productive.

This girl was really insecure too, so every time I was out with my friends or at a house party, she'd get annoyed because I think she'd I would cheat on her. She expected me to face-time her after work for a good hour or two at least. I'd never face-timed a girl in my life for more than a few mins, so you could imagine how draining this was both mentally and time wise.

I started to realize near the end that I too was slowly drowning. I'd literally lost my purpose, and being with this girl accomplished nothing for me. The little time I had, I was wasting it. I started spending less time with her, then broke up, I realized that:

A) Work on yourself first, then a LTR. Don't lose yourself if you enter one

B) Spending time with someone frequently get boring quick, especially when it eats in your valuable time where you could be bettering yourself.

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2019-10-07T10:29:27+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you, OP.

Less time spent with her = More time spent improving every aspect of my life.

Not a bad trade-off! ;-)

Title	Started spending less and less time with my girlfriend.
Author	BatsNightmares
Upvotes	88
Comments	26
Date	October 7, 2019 8:51 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/degrme/started_spending_less_and_less_time_with_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/started-spending-less-and-less-time-with-my.289170 https://theredarchive.com/post/289170

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