Genuine love exists?

BigAngryDinosaur · 2016-12-01T20:21:59+00:00

I've been married for nearly 2 decades.

Imagine your best friend in the world. If you've never had a best friend, then imagine someone who you just feel good being with, someone you look forward to being around every day so you can talk shit, hang out, read things, play games, struggle through some project together or just sit in comfortable silence.

Now imagine that's someone you're also attracted to and they feel the same for you and you share every intimate detail and you don't need to feel ashamed, embarrassed or demeaned around them, and you trust them to be honest so that anything that makes you feel bad you can talk about in healthy way, figure that shit out and move on.

Love is a feeling of overwhelming attraction, and it can exist on it's own (people fall in love with the wrong people all the time) but imagine if you apply that feeling to someone like I described above. That's genuine "true" love to me. When you choose a person that you will give all your emotional investment to, and they do the same for you.

It's not always easy, you have to maintain it like anything, but it's always there, it's always good the next day even if you have bad days together.

TRP is completely antithesis of this kind of relationship, so if you want something like that, you have different work to do than what TRP will prepare you for.

Genuine love exists for me, because I stepped up and made it work with someone who was also ready to step up and make it work. In a relationship like this, you truly don't have to worry about all the outside, petty bullshit that TRP prepares you for. You will have to learn how to handle intense, sometimes silly or insane emotions in yourself and your partner though, you'll have to learn to be caring and vulnerable and how to care for someone else who is vulnerable at times, and be ready for hard stuff as well as good stuff. It's a wild ride, but it's worth it.

It's why I'm here telling guys to stay away from TRP, because love is really, really good. The world needs more love, less dread and cynicism.

raziphel · 2016-12-01T18:49:16+00:00

How old are you?

Of course it exists, but it probably isn't going to look like what "love" is portrayed in the movies or literature, because those are idealized dreams of what love "should be.". Love is beautiful and amazing, but it also hurts like nothing else at times. I know that sounds vague, but consider all the novels written about love, not to mention man's search for meaning and fulfillment in life.

You won't really know what it's like until you experience it first-hand. TRP, MTGOW, and the like hide from the pain, but suffering is inevitable in life (or worse, selfishly create suffering in others to make their own life better). It cannot be avoided. The best we can do is live through it, learn from it, and not make those mistakes twice while still pushing forward toward our goals.

In the end though, for all it's ups and downs, having important people with you makes life significantly better. Love and shared experience are what makes people stick together, even when things are hard. It creates something greater than what we can be alone, and that is an amazing thing.

mikelek · 2016-12-01T20:37:03+00:00

Hello sir. I found true love on Tinder, of all places. I matched with a man who wasn't really my type. Not sure why I liked him, I remember debating if I wanted to or not. I didn't immediately meet up with him and kept dating. We talked back and forth on snap chat and we got along weirdly well. I finally decided to meet him and it wasn't long before we became steady.

We had our hiccups, especially in the beginning. But he is the sweetest and most understanding man I've met. He's not the least bit controlling, loves when I dress up, and loves showing me off. He listens to me talk and we have endless conversations that seem to somehow turn silly over time. He's understanding, fair, and is concerned about my feelings. When I was stressed at my job, he would be stressed from the stories I'd tell. He encourages me to grow, he loves how unique I am, and wants me to be and do anything I want because he loves anyone with a passion. We rarely argue about serious things, but we always talk them through. He truly matches the amount of love I feel for him, which is a lot.

He's also shorter than me, and we look like an odd couple. He's a hippie Grateful Dead festival junkie and I have more of a darker fashion sense with piercings. It's just funny how love works sometimes. You just have to be persistent with your dating; there are SO many women out there. You're bound to find one that you have a great connection with and she feels the same. Just don't get discouraged because finding that love is so worth it, and it's going to take hard work. You learn a lot about women and life from dating anyways, take your time to learn. It's just more experience under your belt. And never settle for anything less than what you want, just don't get caught up so much on having the hottest girlfriend. A quality personality is even harder to find.

tuesdayballs · 2016-12-01T18:38:30+00:00

There is no perfect person. However, true love does exist. I don't think there is such a thing as a soul mate, or destiny, but you can find someone who matches your heart, who you can share your days with, laugh with, someone to be your Partner. To do that and to have that both people (or more if you want to pursue a poly relationship or an open one) need to have a high level of emotional intelligence, and be willing to do the personal work needed to build that throughout your life. Emotional IQ will not only help you gain the type of relationship you are asking about, but will help you feel better about yourself, and any relationship in your life.

TRP is the opposite of emotional intelligence - it actively lowers your emotional IQ to the point that an individual is completely hobbled not only in regards to dating and love but to themselves. TRP will fracture you.

Some information on EQ:

(1) What does EI teach you?

Positive interpersonal relationships are key to the best of what life has to offer. Your ability to understand yourself and others gets you there. (2) How do you practice EI?

Self-Awareness: Knowing what you are feeling, when you feel it. Managing your emotions: Knowing what to do with your feelings. Motivating yourself: Thoughtfully channeling your feelings in the right direction. Empathy: Feeling for others. Accepting their feelings too. Handling relationships: Having good interpersonal relationships, so others feel good about you.

(this is from a simple online article, but it describes the concept well: https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-good-examples-of-emotional-intelligence)

If you have been looking for a "system" to help you gain better relationships, read about EQ. It will do nothing but help. Stay away from the toxic world or TRP and MGTOW - these paths will lead you to isolation and despair.

Best of luck to you.

JaggedYellowPill · 2016-12-01T17:40:10+00:00

I guess it depends on what you mean by "genuine love." How would you define it?

RPAlternate42 · 2016-12-02T04:25:36+00:00

I keep this sub subscribed because balance. I subscribe to the more moderate aspects of RP; get your shit together, take care of yourself, defining my own "frame" versus staying in hers, take her off the pedestal; I'm not into "game" as the TRP members do it because I'm married so that option is pretty limited to what I can game my wife with. I don't believe a strict alpha/beta dichotomy exists in a civilized society. I do believe that women do categorize men into two categories (fuckable or not fuckable) that could probably boil down into alpha/beta as RP describes it, and later they tend to change that into settle down with/not settle down with.)

Alpha and beta do exist in a non-civilized society: we are primates and as such, with out the blanket of civilization humans become tribal and quickly identified leaders come to the front (alphas) and the tribe tends to follow them (betas.) Once a society becomes expansive to remove tribal ties, the alpha/beta lines blur because laws tend to equalize everyone under the government (for the most part.)

But just because a dude is jacked and tan doesn't mean he's "alpha." Just because he's bigger and stronger than you, doesn't make you a beta. So ignore the alpha/beta as ture things and think of them as placeholders for tendencies and presentations to women; while "alpha" and "beta" may not be how women categorize you, they do categorize you.

Remember that RP is about sexual strategy; they are not philosophers and scientists.

I digress. True love is primarily an ideal defined by feelings. It also tends to get mixed up in this idea of "soul mate" or "one and only" which are primarily feminine ideals. Men can be pretty loyal to just about anyone who they feel is deserving of that loyalty.

My wife deserves my loyalty... but it comes at a price: she has to act as I expect her to as my wife. It basically boils down to having sex with me regularly and mostly at my discretion and being the counterpoint to raising our two daughters. If she gets lazy in respect to raising our children then I will see that she isn't applying herself to that aspect of our relationship. If she rejects me for sex too regularly, she is demonstrating a lack of attraction, physical desire, and respect for me. For her sake, she doesn't do either of these.

ON the other side of the coin, she probably has expectations of me and as far as I know, I'm meeting them. Why do I know? because she fucks me regularly and basically dotes upon me. I don't think she'd do either if I didn't meet and exceed her expectations. Right now she's greatly "in love" with me because my attitude, action, and loyalty inspires feelings of loyalty and affection in her. If I became lazy, inattentive, or abusive and skirted my duties as she expects them as a husband, then I doubt she would say she's "in love" with me... because I no longer inspire those feelings in her.

So, to your question, does "true love" exist? only as long as the circumstances with the physically desirable person exist to inspire feelings of loyalty and affection.

If my wife got fat, stopped shaving, stopped, bathing regularly, etc. I wouldn't be attracted to her and I'd feel less inclined to want to be around her which would lead to me spending as much time away from her as possible. Under those circumstance I wouldn't define that as "love." Just like if I got fired, stopped trying to find work, drank all the time and ignored her she wouldn't feel "love" for me either.

"True Love" doesn't really exist (at least as I assume you are thinking about it) because there is nothing inherently permanently lovable about anyone; once they start to fall below the others' expectations in the relationship, "true love" becomes "love" and eventually devolves into indifference for the other person.

So, that's how I see it: loyalty and affection for another. It could be for anyone and it could end as soon as you think they aren't deserving of it.

I have to ask: why are you reading TRP? What drew you to it?

WatchOutItsAFeminist · 2016-12-02T07:34:45+00:00

I had a really warped idea of what love is when I was younger. I went through a few bad relationships, one abusive. But true love? it's real, genuine, and worth searching for. I found it, and it was worth it.

stillaliveatage89 · 2016-12-05T15:14:27+00:00

Look to your kids, your grand parents, your best friend...this is genuine love.

If genuine love didn't exist then we'd all spend our whole lives isolated and paranoid.

hang-clean · 2016-12-30T20:46:42+00:00

Married 20 years this year. Short answer - yes, love exists. It needn't mean monogamy, or the end of sex, not even the end of sex with multiple people. You can treat people you love as equals and still make whatever life arrangements fit you both/all. TRPers really miss out on this stuff, and it's sad.

ExpGeo · 2017-01-05T10:40:43+00:00

i have also been married for a while (9 years) and I agree iwth BigAngryDinosaur.. It is AMAZING. The only thing scary about it is that when you love someone so much you have so much to lose.

Love exist, I am woman (just using my husband's account) and I am in love. I dont know how I lucked out to be in this position but my husband is my best friend, he is my everything.. I cant even describe it but it is HAPPINESS.

dottywine · 2016-12-23T23:25:19+00:00

Genuine love is possible and you don't HAVE to be TRP to find it. You do TRP only if that is what you truly like. I love to be TRP with my partner, but he actually doesn't like all the aspects of it and would prefer me to be more modernized. It really depends on the relationship! True love can be for you.

Title	Genuine love exists?
Author	Shinoyi
Upvotes	9
Comments	32
Date	December 1, 2016 5:14 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/5fxrbh/genuine_love_exists/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/genuine-love-exists.300355 https://theredarchive.com/post/300355

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