A close friend Tells me He thinks my Wife is hot..

Deep_Strength · 2019-02-09T22:24:36+00:00

I do not agree with others that you have to be confrontational and/or mate guarding-ish behavior in this circumstance. It can be a good learning and teaching experience in a win-win type of scenario especially if you know he has good character and/or is a good learner otherwise .

Does his wife have any weight to lose or acts unattractive or not submissive to him or things like that?

One of the reasons why a man might be 'attracted' to another man's wife is that she embodies things that he wants in a wife. A wife that is feminine, listens, and is submissive is an attractive prospect for many men... it does not necessarily have to be 'physical attractiveness.'

Here's what I would do in your situation:

Tell your wife that yes he finds you hot for whatever reason. Don't necessarily need to make it into a joke. I would avoid doing that.
If his wife has stuff to learn, maybe your wife can exert some influence on his wife to start changing for the better (if she has things she can change to be more attractive or a better follower)
Take him under your wing because you are already mentoring him and help to guide him that he can have a similar marriage to you.

It is possible that you can act to turn things around in a good way (with your wife's help if she's willing) to help another man have a better marriage.

CaptJohnLukeDiscard · 2019-02-09T20:30:07+00:00

The proper response is “well of course she is hot. You are going to be respectful to her and me though regardless of how your marriage is going.”

You aren’t asking him. You are telling him.

PilotBass · 2019-02-09T17:24:27+00:00

My gut reaction, if you are the alpha leader, you are secure. You want her to know you know things. I'd tell her and laugh it off. She is yours and you are no cuck. And she should already know clearly where your boundaries are. Then tell your friend thanks, and warn him that the devil should not get a foothold because he strikes when we are down (his marriage troubles).

BoiLyon · 2019-02-09T19:00:56+00:00

Your close friend is acting inappropriately. Doubly so, because he's flirting with a wife of a close friend. Triply so because he actually told you he thinks your wife is hot. I'm worried about your friend because his thinking and judgment are cloudy.

Initially this isn't about whether you're worried about your wife's fidelity or your own security. Your friend is not thinking clearly and is acting quite inappropriately. I have close friends who are married to hot women. I would never flirt with them and I certainly would never tell their husbands how hot I think they are. I'm pretty sure I'd get a fist in the mouth for that.

Your friend and your wife hanging out together is a bad idea for both of them particularly since your friend and his wife are having marital problems. It's not unheard of for a man whose marriage is on the fritz going out and trying to get sex from other women, especially married women, who are perceived as "safer" for extramarital affairs.

Jalakee · 2019-02-09T20:33:53+00:00

"Respectfully" he just told you he has the hots for your wife. Interesting problem. I think I would let it lie but keep my eye on him. He is no longer trustworthy.

Think about it, have you never had a friend with a wife or gf you thought was hot?? We all have. But you dont say it overtly, that's bad manners.

[deleted] · 2019-02-09T22:18:48+00:00

I'm not married and I'm maybe more conservative. I would absolutely not allow a "friend" of mine to flirt with my wife. I would tell him that I don't like his behavior and it's not acceptable.

This whole, I'm the alpha and I don't care much because I have a stable of women - that works if your dating strippers I'm sure, but if we are talking about your wife - I don't see how you tolerate that beahvior.

I would tell him to stop and if he kept doing it I would ask him not to talk to her anymore.

What is the point of allowing this? Showing how secure and alpha you are? If I had a son who was flirting with another man's wife I would rebuke him and his foolishness. Once it is YOUR wife, the game is 100% changed.

Different styles I guess. Surprised everyone is like, yeah -just watch how far the flirting goes.

ebam123 · 2019-02-09T22:12:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

tailwaggingthedog · 2019-02-10T01:10:10+00:00

NOTHING GOOD COMES OF THIS. Do not allow flirting ... discourage it, end the friendship - whatever it takes. You obviously haven't seen enough 'Dateline' or '48 hours' episodes to realize that even church couples can lose their bearings and get led down the path of destruction ... it starts with a (never/not so) innocent lift of the eyebrows, a text that gets sent behind a spouse's back, an offer to pick up a friend's spouse (opposite sex) because spouse can't make it. It'll all go wrong.

End It NOW.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrhmMi295s

Title	A close friend Tells me He thinks my Wife is hot..
Author	BoiLyon
Upvotes	12
Comments	22
Date	February 9, 2019 5:20 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/aoubcg/a_close_friend_tells_me_he_thinks_my_wife_is_hot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/a-close-friend-tells-me-he-thinks-my-wife-is-hot.301435 https://theredarchive.com/post/301435

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