How should one phrase to a woman that they don’t want to have premarital sex, however, you still want to pursue the relationship?

[deleted] · 2018-01-29T16:36:40+00:00

For my husband and I, we talked in-depth about what our sex life would be like once we were married. We both weren’t promiscuous people but learned we’d longed for an intense and amazing connection.

Because of that I told him that if I was to give myself over to him, completely - I’d need a solid commitment in place.

That he’d never have a lazy lover with me but one who would hold our union in the highest regard. A symbol that he wasn’t just any man to me, but my husband and my leader.

He was the same, although he was a rock in terms of self control, I could try to seduce him but I’d be disappointed all the time lol - until we were married.

Red-Curious · 2018-01-29T17:45:33+00:00

Be direct, clear, and tactful. If you rely on innuendo, she might not get it, or even if she understands the innuendo she might think that because you're not talking straight it's not a serious issue to you.

If you want to lay a clear boundary to the relationship, set the context, set the parameter, allow room for feedback, don't budge into a realm you're not willing to budge.

Hey babe, I have something I want to talk about for the next several minutes. We haven't had sex yet, but I've certainly been tempted to try. I know everything in society tells us to give into that temptation and that there's nothing wrong with it. That said, remaining faithful to God is more important to me than a night of fun and intense pleasure. I want to have that night with you someday, but I have a very firm, unwavering boundary that I will not have sex with anyone until I'm married. Is that something you can be okay with?

If she says yes, great. Short conversation. If she says no, you need to cut her loose. The harder part is actually following through with the boundary.

OsmiumZulu · 2018-01-30T04:32:32+00:00

How should one phrase to a woman that they don’t want to have premarital sex, however, you still want to pursue the relationship?

dramatically pause

Point to your crotch

Mufasa voice "<Name>, someday all of this could be yours"

Remember: You are the prize.

cornthians12345 · 2018-01-29T21:10:54+00:00

Dude, if she is not adhering to that principle by her own: Cut her loose.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-01-30T16:22:26+00:00

I would say that for the women who are actually worth pursuing a relationship and possibly marriage with, a clear statement of your intent to remain celibate until marriage can be a powerful aphrodisiac to the right one. As with all other things RP, if this is your stance, own it and don't DEER (Defend, Explain, Excuse, Rationalize).

BluepillProfessor · 2018-02-03T18:55:47+00:00

I think you should be able to talk to a prospective mate/girlfriend about your religious beliefs.

I would talk early to avoid being 'unequally yoked.'

I would also keep in mind that the Greek word used in Scripture for fornication is "Porneo" which means "any crime especially any sexual crime."

What is the "sexual crime" of premarital sex? Certainly Adultery is prohibited but where exactly is having sex before marriage prohibited? Chapter and verse please.

Also, "Solomon's Blessing" included 300 "concubines" (women who you have sex with but do not marry). If all blessing come from God then..........

Title	How should one phrase to a woman that they don’t want to have premarital sex, however, you still want to pursue the relationship?
Author	akohlan198
Upvotes	3
Comments	38
Date	January 29, 2018 4:06 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/7ttacx/how_should_one_phrase_to_a_woman_that_they_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/how-should-one-phrase-to-a-woman-that-they-dont.302059 https://theredarchive.com/post/302059

Comments