Why don’t we just get you a roll of masking tape and put it right down the middle of your bed so you both know which side is yours? And then we can use the rest of the tape to label all your toys as yours or your spouse’s. Actually why even share a room? A house? A name? Exclusivity? Remember it’s not like you vowed to become a couple or anything.

LABEL YOUR STUFF WITH MASKING TAPE. WHEN YOUR SPOUSE DIVORCE BUTT RAPES YOU, LEGALLY THEY CANNOT GIVE AWAY HALF YOUR STUFF IF IT HAS MASKING TAPE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.