what the hell is fogging?

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November 24, 2019
3 upvotes

brothers, its as if every term is defined in the glossary except for fogging. anyone care to share?


Post Information
Title what the hell is fogging?
Author redditisalostcause
Upvotes 3
Comments 10
Date 24 November 2019 08:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/304657
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/e0w3t9/what_the_hell_is_fogging/
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Comments

[–]CarelessBowler54 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dude. Read "When I Say No I Feel Guilty."

That's where fogging comes from.

It will change how you approach every conversation in your life. At home. At work. At church.

I got Best Buy to turn a gift card into $100 cash for me, following the principles of that book.

Now that I think about it, that would make a good Field Report for the main sub.

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes, it most certainly would!

[–]GiftOfBlackKnighting3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Imagine that you get an aggressive or manipulative phrase thrown at:

"Oh, redditisalostcause, looks like you stopped being a lazy f and did the dishes"

That phrase contains two things:

  1. A correct assertation (you did the dishes)
  2. An insult / manipulative statement / agressive comment (it implies that you are usually lazy)

Fogging is now the following:
Agree with the 1. while ignoring 2. like this:

"Yes, I did the dishes"

The insult / manipulative / aggressive part of the statement is thrown into a wall of fog and disappears. This not only asserts that you aren't someone who can be tricked / beat down with such phrases; it as well reduces the escalation of the exchange.
Sometimes it can lead to a follow up by the person you are fogging in which he/she reveals (a bit) more why they went that hard at you, but that is not a given and fogging isn't the ideal technic for finding out what the issue of the other person is. For that negative inquiry or negative inquiry combined with fogging is often better.

[–]lololasaurus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

WISNIFG is definitely one of the more bookish books as you do the work, but it really is fundamentally critical for your ability to be assertive.

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The reason Fogging is not in the glossary is because it's not just a term, it's a technique that requires reading the book to truly grasp the concept so you can use it effectively. It's from When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. In that book you will learn about Fogging as well as many other techniques to handle life's confrontations. One of the most useful books out there.

[–]Willow-girl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"When you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with ... fogging."

[–]Vypered1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Giving a vague answer, staying in your own frame. Wife: “all my friends husbands buy flowers for their wife every day. Why don’t you?” Husband (Fogging): “yeah, I bet they do buy flowers.”

It’s from When I Say No I Feel Guilty

[–]SkimTheDross2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fogging is one of the coping techniques described in When I Say No I Feel Guilty, not NMMNG.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a great question!



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