How can I encourage my boyfriend to lose weight?

jonmarli · 2020-01-09T23:10:49+00:00

I come from a family of overweight and obese people and all I can tell you is that in my experience, you can't change anyone's relationship with food. If you have an ED background you know that's true. It has to be self-motivated. I think it is great to let your partner know that you're interested in being a healthy, active couple. Follow good habits yourself and enable your boyfriend to eat well and have active hobbies, too. He will or he won't and it is mostly just up to him.

50s_life_4_this_wife · 2020-01-10T03:18:05+00:00

My husband and I are both on the bigger side. I have struggled with the weight issues more than he. He honestly had to have A hard sit down talk with me about how my weight was hurting our relationship/marriage. He felt horrible, but it needed to be done.. He has been my biggest supporter, and we both have found success with WW. We go for walks together, or go do activities that requires more physical activity.

HB3234 · 2020-01-10T01:12:46+00:00

You can't change someone. You can't make someone lose weight. You can definitely give them a complex, make them feel unloved and unattractive, or make them feel stifled, controlled, or judged. Ironically, your options here are incredibly slim.

Very few people get into the "obese" category with a healthy relationship to exercise and food. This isn't a case of "active guy gained weight after retirement or injury", this sounds like your partner being who he was and has been consistently (even if he wasn't as obese when you got together). You need to accept him as he is or reconsider your relationship.

If you ask him to change his appearance or eating habits, he is going to feel awful. And it doesn't work.

The best hope you have is self improvement. Keep working on yourself. Get healthy and heal from your ED. Model healthy eating and exercise. Not a word to him about his own eating. Unless it comes to him of his own initiative, no change will stick or feel good.

Meanwhile, learn to dress and present well, how to be your most beautiful self. Treat him with love and respect, not like a piece of clay you want to shape. As you improve into a woman of higher and higher caliber, he will want to keep up to keep you. And if he doesn't, that's your answer - this is who he is, take it or leave it.

red_philosopher · 2020-01-10T21:32:07+00:00

Cook all his meals and pack all of his lunches and go on walks together.

And in a month or two, go "Wow! You're looking really really good!"

If you can't do that then you'll have to accept that he's going to be fat until he decides not to be anymore.

_johnfketamine · 2020-01-09T23:22:53+00:00

[deleted]

LateralThinker13 · 2020-01-10T16:29:21+00:00

Don't be subtle. Be honest. If you come from an open place (history of eating disorder) and show you are solely motivated by love and care (his poor health) and wanting him to live happy and healthy, he'll likely be receptive. Then, instead of TELLING him how you want/need to change, get him to make suggestions/plans.

sonder_one · 2020-01-10T00:09:30+00:00

#3 works wonders: https://medium.com/@AaronBleyaert/how-to-lose-weight-in-4-easy-steps-1f135f7e1dec

JaneAdamz · 2020-01-12T02:22:11+00:00

You may need to be overt and tell him that him being fat is a turn off. People usually don't change their way of life unless they've had some sort of trauma. You probably don't want to threaten to leave him if he doesn't lose weight, but since he can't read your covert cues just be honest and say, "look, I really love you and definitely want to be with you long term but I won't be able to respect a man who I'm supposed to have sex with if he's fat".

CochinoChingon · 2020-01-12T02:38:31+00:00

Next time you get to pick what to watch on Netflix, put on The Game Changers. I’m prior service, so I know about packing on the pounds. I’ve lost weight before when I got too big, but nothing made me seriously consider my health like the documentary did.

YMMV

Title	How can I encourage my boyfriend to lose weight?
Author	_johnfketamine
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	January 9, 2020 10:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/emhhqa/how_can_i_encourage_my_boyfriend_to_lose_weight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-can-i-encourage-my-boyfriend-to-lose-weight.305713 https://theredarchive.com/post/305713

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