New to RP theory, struggling with BP shit trickling into my new way of life. One thing in particular, the dreaded ex.

CoriolanusRevisited · 2015-04-25T06:00:24+00:00

You should just take it easy, kick back, and not pursue women right now. Feelings like you are having will go away with time and concerted effort. Analyze your feelings about her when they come up, remind yourself of why they are illogical and tell yourself you are not being rational by feeling the way you do.

Will this work the first time? No. Will it work the 50th time? Sort of. You need to very gradually realign your underlying thought process and emotional reaction to your ex, and you can do that little by little day by day. Just as you don't get results in the gym overnight, you wont get results in your long term emotional state overnight.

Take 6 months, continue to improve your life, and if you haven't yet completely cut all contact with your ex. No social media, texts, or even emails.

juliusstreicher · 2015-04-25T07:44:20+00:00

"Now, 6 months later. If I had the chance to lay her down and fuck the everloving shit out of her I would. She was submissive in the bedroom and I liked it. Sex with a vanilla girl after that is going to suck. I guess you could say that it was a taste of alpha in an otherwise beta life." She doesn't sound that hot, to me. submissive? OK. There are about 500 million of those on the planet. Every time that you get to pining for her, remember how let down you felt when she was not there to support her, and she didn't give a fuck about your problems, and tell yourself that that is the price for fucking her. Tell yourself about how miserable and depressed you were when you were with her. See what that does to your boner.

laere · 2015-04-25T13:19:17+00:00

You have oneitis for your ex. Ghost her aka absolutely no contact. Delete her number, facebook, everything.

Keep up the self-improvement, and also read /u/needless_pickup_line recent "you're a boring fuck" posts, to accumulate ways to become more interesting.

Also, if you're not find getting laid interesting to you as of now, then don't waste time with it, however don't use it as a "forever" excuse to never attempt picking up chicks again because they can't "compare" to your ex. The more you fill up your time with activities and developing new hobbies/habits on top of the less exposure to your ex, you're going to stop thinking about her, and eventually stop caring.

Oneitis is a psychological game your mind tricks you into thinking your ex is the only girl for you in the world. The one doesn't exist. There are good ones and bad ones, but there isn't a "ONE."

Good luck.

kempff · 2015-04-25T16:53:10+00:00

Normally I would encourage you to delete this and repost in r/asktrp, but because your question can be reframed in a general way...

Replace her.

You are still emotionally attached to her (exactly like oneitis but far more easily cured) but this attachemnt is holding you back from self-improvement and, ultimately, freedom.

In cases like yours, going monk-mode is a good idea, but that thread of attachment to her will gnaw at you. So while I agree with the other commenters here, I want to add that finding someone else will make it a lot easier for you to move on from the crazy redhead. Then you can decide whether to go monk-mode or "get a new set of china".

[deleted] · 2015-04-25T04:26:19+00:00

There is something to be said in the thrill of the chase, getting random women to fuck you is not a challenge and therefore not as fulfilling. succeeding in getting with someone who doesnt take minimal effort would do wonders imo. there are also girls out there that are better than your ex, something to consider.

H42 · 2015-04-26T12:06:45+00:00

You have pretend and act like she is dead. Zero contact.

drunkandstoned · 2015-04-25T18:57:42+00:00

Sex with a vanilla girl after that is going to suck.

Good, that means once you get over this you will keep an abundance mentality. Vanilla girls will turn kinky for you if the attraction is there, find one and turn her into your little submissive, or just go on fetlife you faggot.

SkorchZang · 2015-04-25T20:18:53+00:00

The number one thing you've got to do (as a gift for yourself) is cut her completely out of your life. No looking at her FB page, no reading any old emails or accidentally seeing a photo. No talking to mutual friends about her. Eradicate any input that involves her, until your brain is on a "zero that bitch diet".

Another way to describe it, is decide that she's dead to you. Gone. You had a good run together, you're grateful and all, but that person you were involved with back then is now dead. She's someone new, and you don't know her.

Then you simply stick to this, and without any other effort, watch yourself very quickly get better. There will still be constant pangs of curiosity or similar emotions, tempting you to look her up and what she's doing, who she's fucking. Have some discipline and just don't do it. The temptations slowly decrease over a year or so, in how often you get them, and how intense they are.

And then you're finally free. You don't think about her, because you already "thunk" every possible thought before a hundred times, and there isn't any new information to work off of and be obsessed.

While you're still in the throes of your "oneitis", you might well have to force yourself to seduce and fuck new girls. You will not even feel like it, but it's good for you to force yourself through regardless. Every new chick will help speed up the whole process a little bit.

After you feel a lot better, don't give in into those temptations that "now I'm 100% over her, I can shoot a text and fuck with her mind a bit". It will bring you back to square one as those old emotions rush back in, and now you have to starve them out all over again.

csehszlovakze · 2015-04-25T12:24:28+00:00

Smells like ~~teen spirit~~ oneitis. Hard next, no contact, get busy. If you don't want random sex just don't do it, concentrate on yourself instead. Oneitises die after a while if you stop fuelling them.

selfsufficientnigga · 2015-04-25T14:59:10+00:00

You need to internalize this:

You do not want that girl, you want what she was providing you. But realize that there are many other girls that can provide you with the very same thing.

DarkisKnight · 2015-04-26T17:41:55+00:00

Diagnosis: Oneitis

Treatment: Next. Work on self. Spin Plates.

[deleted] · 2015-04-27T19:01:42+00:00

A lot of the advice on here is spot on so far and I dont think I can contribute more than echo the usual cures for oneitis which are focus on your own happiness/goals/improvement and fuck a lot of other women.

I had a similar bout of oneitis that in all honesty is still working its ways out of my system.

I had this one ex with nice fake tits and a banging body, it was hard to get her out of my mind since porn had a lot of fake tits and what not. It was so bad that I would lose a hard on mid beat session because a girl in the video had a similar build or hair cut.

That lasted about a month. A shitty depressing month. Until I got a new car, new clothes, fucked a few randoms on tinder and continuted MMA and lifting through out.

Now it is almost a year later and I laugh when i get texts from the ex.

The year was hard though. There were a lot of random girls that were of LOWER calibre than my ex and I was foolish into believing I WAS a lower calibre of person because of that. Then I realized I could have almost anything I wanted so long as I CHOSE to be single. Which I did. I chose to not give low quality women my commitment, and really put myself first.

The ex is still on my mind sometimes, but so rarely she is now just a memory and a life lesson. Either way goodluck. Shit sucks, but it will make you stronger.

ExiledNihilist · 2015-05-05T00:14:31+00:00

Dude, very similar situation for me, but I actually went through with it. Here's my advice.

This recent March, I finally decided to reply to my ex's 2 AM texts because I was fucking bored and pretty lonely, despite lifting and working on myself. We broke up because she cheated on me last year, relapsed on heroin causing her to miscarry my child, all in the timespan of 3 months. The hate I have for this girl is insane, yet she was the best god damn fuck I've ever had to this day. Let me tell you, I fucked her for 2 weeks straight this March only for her to go on a trip to another state to see a guy she has been "talking" to for months. It was the eye-opener I needed. She's still shit.

I started that relationship on top of my game, and slowly turned into a BP shitlord while she drained the life out of me. No fuck is worth your dignity. Being celibate is much better than fucking someone who is like a poison to your mind. If I could go back to March, I wouldn't have replied. Fucking her and hanging out with her sent me straight back to square one.

Pretty much what everyone else is saying in this. Cut contact, lift, spin plates. You're still into her, just accept it and realize shit will hurt for a while. You don't need to be laying pipe on any new plates if you're not feeling it, but it might help.

Title	New to RP theory, struggling with BP shit trickling into my new way of life. One thing in particular, the dreaded ex.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	22
Date	April 25, 2015 4:21 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/33sfla/new_to_rp_theory_struggling_with_bp_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/new-to-rp-theory-struggling-with-bp-shit-trickling.31831 https://theredarchive.com/post/31831

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