Why is being good a recipe for getting taken as a sucker?

Young women are encouraged to seek out experience, status, and provisioning of their own. These are their priorities in their young adult years; not marriage.

Their actions and choices bear this out repeatedly if you observe them closely. There are a number of breakpoints along the way in which these choices either move toward marriage probability or away from it.

As most women who post here can attest to this, there is a great deal of importance placed on achievement and the trappings of ‘success’ that have nothing to do with femininity or any other aspects that will make her more attractive to a potential men. (Nobody is telling them to acquire such either.)

So lets look at the types of life that women engage in at a glance: going to college; going to college out of town; going to grad school; travel or service overseas (eg peace corps or gap years or post grad spiritual tourism); moving for career opportunity; moving for fun/friends/experience; making career moves that disrupt stable home life (travel, strange hours, low pay high status jobs); cohabitation because weddings are too expensive or some other crap.

At each junction her choices are embedded with either pro-marriage or anti-marriage probabilities; she either prioritizes herself, her journey, (what she can get) or a goal of becoming a wife (what she can give.)

Eg. She leaves her HS boyfriend for college. She ends a college relationship to “study” abroad; she ends a college relationship to go to grad school or to take a job in a different city; she ends a relationship to join the peace corps or spend six months backpacking in Asia; she ends a relationship to pursue a job in a new city; she ends a relationship because his career is taking him to a new city; she adopts a lifestyle that makes no time for others (“i am so busy”); she “dates” a lot, for fun, without regard for male character or marital intent (the carousel), she has a bad guy “picker” and wounds up putting "no hookups!!!" in her dating profile after living this lifestyle.

Each breakpoint narrows the field, decreases her MMV (Marriage Market Value), reinforces her journey as paramount, and builds in her own (false) value as the prize.

Plus years of hypergamy building and divorce practice bake in an aspect of fragility to each subsequent relationship; she enters and exits more lightly, as she is getting good at the transient and disposable nature of free-floating courtship from men which she takes for granted in her prime years.

Of course those breakpoints can cut both ways (he can end the relationship too), but this is often a function of the unserious nature of the relationship to begin with as well as the built in competition of dueling provisioning and status trajectories.

Most young women are unserious about becoming a wife and largely see marriage and children (some day just not soon) as something that will just happen when the time is right and/or as some kind of status step on their CV.

Look at most early 30’s online profiles and you will see this pattern ad nauseam. “Im finally ready for a real relationship/man!!!; I love to eat (but cant cook); i love to travel (but have no retirement savings); i love dogs (and so must you); i have a masters in dipshit degree (and $80k in loans); i love my job (more than spending time with you – or for that matter my eggs); i have awesome friends (who dont want me to find you and with whom I will vet you).

She is experienced and confident and knows what she wants in a man (finally!). She has done it all so you better blow her mind. As a bonus she has 800 followers on Insta and is still “friends” with her exes. What??, No proposals?!

Young women have little interest in hooking their wagon to a young man; this is seen as foolish and risky. By the time they are ready, they are no longer the prize they think they are.

The modern woman has had a dozen honeymoons and a dozen divorces by the time she is ‘ready’ for marriage. Thats just not very attractive to most men. I rarely ask about their pasts anymore. I let them spin their stories.

For all too often, the more I know about her journey, the less attractive to me she will become.

Its blue pill to look for the unicorn and its black pill to foreclose the ideal entirely. Its all rather tragic.

The lack of proposals notion is retarded. The ones who value marriage and pursue it, tend to get it rather quickly. The rest bumble their way to the cougar bar.

I would love to hear CMV if you dare.