My terrible life and how you can get there too! (Analysis in comments)

entreprenerd16 · 2019-02-03T04:06:23+00:00

The life of a Spinster

I get it. Today, I love my life. I would prefer to be married, but I feel happy, content, and peaceful.

I hate my life. I want to be married and I feel empty and unfulfilled

Well, I passed 40 several years ago, and I am still single

I blew my best years and was able to ride the CC for at least 20 years. Not bad!

I’ve struggled with my singleness a lot over the past 20 years. I went through periods where I was okay with being single, and I went through many more times where I wondered what was wrong with me and if I’d ever find my soulmate.

I went through guys for over 20 years, and I still had such ridiculously high standards that I never found my Uber Chad.

I’ve dated a lot, and I’ve been in love several times. But I’ve never been engaged, never married, and I’ve never had children.

I had the chance to meet tons of good men, but I decided against it, and now I’m here miserable. I don’t understand!

There were men who wanted to marry me (but I didn’t want to marry them), and men I wanted to marry (who didn’t want to marry me). Both people have to want to be with each other!

Again, I passed over many good men who would’ve married me but instead, I opted for chad even though he refused to propose to me!

In all fairness, I wasn’t very marriage-minded in my 20’s. I wanted a relationship, but I was focused on my career, which required me to travel a lot.

I bought into the lie that I could have it all and didn’t ever think I’d be single because I’m delusional

Which makes me a great recycler and very handy in the kitchen, but left me burning up my child-bearing years on men who didn’t share my values or goals.

I wanted to have children, but to many chads railed me. It didn’t matter that we shared anything in common except they were HAWT.

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve dated some truly good, nice men. Many of whom loved me. But, love ISN’T all you need.

I’ve passed over every single good man because tingles

When you’re in your 40’s, you also need a mortgage payment, a retirement plan, and health insurance. I’m not looking for a man to pay my bills, but he needs to be able to pay his own!

He must pay for everything. I expect my provider to pay for everything including a new house, kitchen, and others that I won’t even use then bitch about later.

Going backwards to bring someone else forwards with only 20 more years to work is frightening.

My financial situation is utter garbage and I have mounds of debt. I can’t afford to take on a guy with the same, so he must be a millionaire at a bare minimum.

I’ve watched a lot of my friends settle and marry men who they ended up having to provide for. I’ve also been there for them when they felt exhausted from having to carry the weight of the household, and during their nasty divorces that resulted.

My friends married some betas who couldn’t provide as much as they wanted, AKA a new mansion. So instead of themselves working or doing anything useful, they decided to divorce rape them and I was there to cheer them on!

Personally, if I’m going to be with someone who is broke, or who works in a job (rather than a career), or who lives with his mother, I’m going to choose a 24-year old stud, not a 42-year old dud.

I still fantasize about chad.

Listen – compatibility isn’t just in the area of finances. It’s also about lifestyle, values, future goals, and much more.

Except when they gave me tingles and I just fucked them in a burger king parking lot

I used to date for quantity, not quality. I would go out at least once (sometimes two or three times) with pretty much anybody. I found that to be exhausting and frustrating. Since raising my personal dating standards, I have WAY fewer dates, but I’m happier.

I went through thousands of guys. No hooker can even compare to me now, and I did it with anyone who gave me feelings. I found that I couldn’t lock these men down, which frustrated me. I then raised my standards and couldn’t get anyone. Instead, I now have cats who go on dates with me. Not that they have a choice

I want to be married and be a stepmom than be single! However, I would rather be single than be in an unhappy relationship.

I still want to be married and I feel very lonely with my petting zoo here. I refuse to lower standards and never will.

I can’t tell you how to find your soulmate….clearly, I don’t know anything about that! There are plenty of great books and programs out there to help you find your ideal partner. I’ve been through many of them, and they are useful.

Listen to me for dating even though by just glancing at me, it’s obvious that I know nothing and am only useful as an example of what not to do for future generations.

What I CAN help you with is how to be happy until you find that person, and to be happy and content even if he or she never shows up.

I want others to suffer with me, I feel good then with my decisions even though deep down, I know I made terrible choices. #NOREGRETSSSSSS

Wouldn’t it be nice to not obsess every day over relationships?

My body and clock have expired but I’m still hearing the alarm from it.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to feel okay with what is while you’re on the way to what you want?

I feel so empty and useless, please make me feel good in the comments

Have you ever prayed that God would just take the desire for a mate away from you?

No matter what drugs I take, I can’t get rid of my body’s desire to have kids. What do I do now?

I can’t promise you’ll stop wanting what you want, but I can help you enjoy the life you have NOW until your soulmate arrives.

Follow me off the cliff, VALIDATE ME

Today, I am able to enjoy the good things in my life and to appreciate where I am and how I got here. I don’t get depressed when I don’t have a date on Saturday night, and I don’t sit on the couch and self-soothe with ice cream on Valentine’s Day. I am happy, content, and peaceful – that’s what I call the One-Derful Life.

I get depressed on Saturday nights, and every night for that matter. I feel sorry for myself especially on Valentine’s Day, and I feel like absolute garbage. That’s what I call and a terrible, terrible life. Please join me

And I can help you Get Your One-Derful Life, too.

I can make you miserable too. Come join me at Petco tomorrow for the sale for goldfish food!

As you can see, this lady is miserable. Don't be like her and avoid women like her.

Special thanks to /u/kevin32 for sending me this!

Lil_AmberSweet · 2019-02-03T17:29:51+00:00

I think it always helps to find out about the person behind the posting.

The blogger in this profile is one Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A. Born 1969. From Tucson, AZ. BS in Marketing, University of Nevada-Reno. MBA, Francis Marion University, Florence, SC. Is an "instructor" and "lecturer" in the School of Business at Francis Marion.

A couple of things here. She's an "instructor" and "lecturer" at the collegiate level. She and the university call her a "professor", but she's not. Usually that term is reserved for tenured or tenure-track faculty. Instructors and lecturers are neither. They don't have job security and they don't have the prestige or position that permanent faculty have.

Almost all the time, to get a permanent faculty position you need a terminal degree in your field (usually a Ph.D.). In the business world it's either a Ph.D. or another degree in another related discipline PLUS real world experience (usually a law degree plus several years of practice, or real world experience in the business world, you know, actually building and running businesses).

Since Mary Dittman is an "instructor" and "lecturer", she apparently

1) Lacks a terminal degree or some other advanced degree

2) Lacks real world experience prior to her becoming affiliated with her university.

Another thing is that instructors and lecturers are the lowest on the totem pole, below even assistant professors. And instructors/lecturers are paid terribly. It's very low pay. They're not full time faculty. They have no job security.

This is an informative article about Ms. Dittman. Born in Tucson, AZ. Grew up a military brat. Moved around every 3 or 4 years, couldn't keep friends because moving around all the time. Graduated high school in Florida. Spent time not really doing much of anything at a junior college. Doens't know who she is or what she wants. Changed major several times, eveyrthing from Prelaw to fashion merchandising. Finally figures out she wants to do marketing, moves across the country and finishes up a bachelor's degree in marketing at Nevada/Reno (and probably spent some fun times partying there too).

Out of school, takes a job with Up With People (at that time in the early to mid 90s, probably at its national HQ in Denver). Gets promoted once at UWP. Then moved to Florence, SC to work for the local newspaper, then a job with a manufacturer of welding equipment, probably near Florence. That company sent her to MBA school at Francis Marion in Florence, SC. She finished the degree and then planned to move to the west coast. Instead, she applied for and took a job teaching at Francis Marion, where she had just earned her MBA. She has been at FMU ever since.

This article about her was published in 2011 and in it she says she had been at the university 11 years. She was born in 1969, meaning she was 31 years old when she graduated and took the teaching job in 2000. She has been there 19 years and will turn 50 this year.

This is a history of a woman who grew up not prioritizing relationships with people. When she got out of high school she worked hard to get as far away from her family of origin as possible. She was also aimless and directionless - didn't know who she was, what she liked, or what she wanted to do with her life. Fucked around at a high school with ashtrays for a while. Moved across the country to Nevada/Reno to finish up a bachelor's degree after she finally settles on marketing. Spends her 20s working in jobs she hated.

("Focused on my career" my ass. She didn't have a "career" until she finished her MBA and started teaching at her alma mater. She had jobs, which is what most people in this situation have - shitty entry level junior professional white collar jobs where you get treated like shit, paid shit, do shit work, put up with tons of bullshit while working for shitty people. You try to get experience so you can hopefully get promoted up and do less shitty work for a little more money; or get experience so you can get the fuck out of there and get a better job.)

Let me bottom line this for you.

1) She's right that she wasn't marriage minded in her 20s. Because she thought she was going to set the world on fire with her shit meaningless marketing degree from a rinky dink third or fourth tier public college, and maybe use her good looks to her advantage. And... surprise.... THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

2) She's a good looking woman. No, she's not super hot. But she's attractive enough to have been able to get someone she was attracted to interested in her.

3) She was working too hard, moving around too much.

4) Even after getting out of school she was still trying to get on her personal, emotional, and professional feet. Still aimless and directionless. No personal or professional identity. Didn't know who she was or what she wanted out of life.

5) Very poor sense of what men want and what they find attractive. You're either a warm wet hole to masturbate into (what Chad and Tyrone want) or you're a wife possibility (what most other men want). Men don't find professional ambition attractive in women. She thinks they do. Or should.

6) She's too picky; she prioritized her job; and/or she doesn't know what men want or find attractive. Meeting men was not important enough to her. She was unwilling to compromise to get what she wanted.

7) Florence, SC is in the northeastern part of South Carolina. It's a college town. About 40,000 population. She can't find anyone there probably because it's in the middle of nowhere and there aren't many men there. The few masculine men there can date other women and not put up with the Mary Dittmans of the world except as third or fourth string booty calls. That's what she is: Not attracted to the men who would have her. She's a booty call/hookup to the men she is attracted to.

8) Something women just don't seem to understand is that you have to settle and compromise and that comes with picking men. Men do this all the time: Pick a woman, settle on her, compromise to get most of what you want. Men understand very well that we don't get everything we want. We settle on getting MOST of what we want and need.

Women don't get this. They have been told they can have it all. They've been told they will get everything they want, when they want it. THey've been told never ever ever to settle, ever, and to hold out for perfection. And then they get sorely disappointed and frustrated when "perfect" never shows up.

xkulp8 · 2019-02-03T04:58:58+00:00

I'm pretty sure she wants to be a spinster.

Edit: A bigger pic

aussielander · 2019-02-03T07:52:45+00:00

Late 40s and never been engaged, the guys she wanted didnt want her, me thinks someone has an inflated opinion of their value.

Hillarysdilddo_2016 · 2019-02-03T07:20:06+00:00

I’ve watched a lot of my friends settle and marry men who they ended up having to provide for. I’ve also been there for them when they felt exhausted from having to carry the weight of the household, and during their nasty divorces that resulted.

So much for equality huh? Men have had to carry women since the dawn of time and looks like women are biologically incapable of reciprocating. Welcome to TRP. lol

Land_of_the_Losers · 2019-02-03T08:19:01+00:00

"Stupid men, they never know exactly how to court me..."

SirKolbath · 2019-02-03T14:05:00+00:00

I was focused on my career

Why would any man want to pass up on the opportunity to be in second place in your life, behind a job we don’t give the slightest shit about?

B_P_G · 2019-02-03T19:37:53+00:00

Personally, if I’m going to be with someone who is broke, or who works in a job (rather than a career), or who lives with his mother, I’m going to choose a 24-year old stud, not a 42-year old dud.

As if she has such a choice. What 24 year old stud (even one that lives with his mom) wants a 40 something girlfriend? This woman is delusional.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-02-03T04:06:17+00:00

One-duhful life is the true name of that website.

2019-02-03T09:21:56+00:00

A man is never free from the provider role and a woman is never free from the childbearing role. I am happy she didn't manage to find a man, she doesn't deserve one and this is the conclusion she's actually arrived herself at.

Blogginginvicecity · 2019-02-03T20:37:29+00:00

I would prefer to be married.

When she's in her prime? FUCK NO.

When she has long since crashed into the wall and needs someone to adopt the hot mess that is her entitled life? "All I've ever wanted since I was a little girl was to be married".

Of course, I was just projecting above. I hadn't read the article yet. Turns out the article was even worse, straight out of the whore's mouth

0kool74 · 2019-02-03T22:36:15+00:00

Didn't read past the kind of men she dated in her 30s. She's a fucking cunt who chose shit men and is now looking for sympathy. Fuck that bitch!!!!!

KavaNotGuilty · 2019-02-04T14:15:24+00:00

Since raising my personal dating standards, I have WAY fewer dates, but I’m happier.

In other words, "I couldn't get any dates once I hit the wall, so I raised my standards and convinced myself that was the reason."

2019-02-04T17:07:27+00:00

Men who were convicted criminals (although not in prison).
Men who were drug addicts and/or alcoholics.
Men who didn’t work.
Men who were broke.
Men who clearly weren’t that into me.
Men that I didn’t really have feelings for, but was hoping I would magically begin to have feelings.

Tyrone, Chad what were you doing here? I haven't seen you guys in a while!

I’m going to choose a 24-year old stud, not a 42-year old dud.

Nothing learned.

loneliness-inc · 2019-02-03T14:49:09+00:00

I'd love to see the comments on this one...

BluepillProfessor · 2019-02-06T17:23:08+00:00

I am a “use-what-you-have-and-don’t-waste-anything” type of girl. Which makes me a great recycler

Yep, her vagina has been recycled over and over and over again. Don't waste any of that Chad cock!

very handy in the kitchen

Pardon me if I call total horseshit on her claim. Making grill cheeze sandwiches is not "handy in the kitchen."

left me burning up my child-bearing years on men who didn’t share my values or goals.

CC Rider confirmed. It was all of the men's fault she banged only the men who did NOT share her values. Obviously.

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve dated some truly good, nice men. Many of whom loved me. But, love ISN’T all you need. When you’re in your 40’s, you also need a mortgage payment, a retirement plan, and health insurance.

Got that? Plenty of men proposed. Plenty of men 'fell in love with her.' They did not have a prison record and an MS-13 tattoo on their face so she didn't "love" them. She "loved" their money. She "wanted" the thugs.

Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks confirmation: Over 5 Billion served so far.

I’m going to choose a 24-year old stud, not a 42-year old dud.

Good luck with your continuing Alpha Fucks quest. 40+ and still on the CC. That was one long, extended ride. Now enjoy the next 40 years of your life alone and childless. MEOW!

Title	My terrible life and how you can get there too! (Analysis in comments)
Author	entreprenerd16
Upvotes	63
Comments	40
Date	February 3, 2019 4:04 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/amm3lo/my_terrible_life_and_how_you_can_get_there_too/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/my-terrible-life-and-how-you-can-get-there-too.347036 https://theredarchive.com/post/347036

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