Everyone tries to tell her to stop being so damn picky. She responds by explaining that she has every damn right to be picky.

SirKolbath · 2018-09-11T11:32:08+00:00

She does have every right to be picky. Of course, so do the men who choose younger, hotter, more submissive women and avoid her like the emotional plague that she is.

Your_Coke_Dealer · 2018-09-11T14:17:22+00:00

Some people are less subtle, like my grandparents asserting I won’t always be young and pretty and it’s my responsibility to lock down a man now. (Yes, really.)

Granny has long since ceased giving a fuck.

LawyerInTheMaking · 2018-09-11T12:57:16+00:00

I’m starting to see more and more why 30+ year old dudes say that women their age are delusional. She’s not hot enough or young enough to be saying the shit she is saying. It’s like someone used the Mangekyou Sharingan and put her in a genjutsu where she is stuck thinking she is 20 and can pull whatever kind of guy she wants.

[deleted] · 2018-09-11T13:01:43+00:00

Creepy vibes = too ugly in person

Stahlboden · 2018-09-11T14:06:37+00:00

"It implies I'm not deserving of epic love."

1) You're probably not deserving of love at all, much less epic love (whatever that means today).

2) Deserve's got nothing to do with it.

When you tell me I’m too picky and to give whatever bro another chance, what you’re saying is this: You got to fall head over heels, but I have to settle for someone who seems more or less acceptable. Now please, explain how that's fair.

Your friend settled too. You all settle. You all bitch and complain about it.

And you're right - it isn't fair. What gives you the impression that life was fair? Aren't you women always telling us that, yes, life isn't fair, so you men just suck it up and deal?

SUCK IT UP AND DEAL, BITCHES.

Land_of_the_Losers · 2018-09-11T12:38:55+00:00

You can be picky, all right. You can be as picky as you want. Just as long as you:

Don't pretend it doesn't effect others.
Don't you dare call men shallow when, in all likelihood, they have far more realistic preferences.

CannabisCumshot69 · 2018-09-11T13:48:19+00:00

It's been said before, but it bears repeating. Look at this:

“I know you don’t do this, but I just think she’s too picky,” my boyfriend-having bud announced. “It’s like no one’s good enough for her.”

When a man has some kind of trouble in life, if he has any true friends they will be honest with him because they want him to succeed and be happy. He will likely be upset in the moment, but in his heart he (should) know that what his friends says are true because they wouldn't lie to him. He will take their advice to heart, try to change himself, and ultimately thank them for having his best interests in mind.

Put a woman in the same situation and you get this shit. Sure, NAWALT, everyone has that one friend who doesn't have feelings made of glass... but pick a random woman you know and guess how she would react if you told her an uncomfortable truth about herself in an effort to help her improve herself and become a better person. Would she be upset initially, but ultimately thankful and appreciative that you went through the effort for her? Or should she say this:

I know she meant well, but my friends' words stung [...] I know everyone’s intentions are good, that they just want to see me happily partnered, but the message drives me (and every uncoupled woman!) crazy.

Really gets the old noggin joggin'. Really makes you think about how they view their own accountability and self-reliance.

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2018-09-11T15:05:07+00:00

Let's break this down a little:

1 YOU'RE TELLING ME NOT TO TRUST MY GUT.

She then conflates this with forcing herself to spend time with someone she hates. You have listened to your gut thus far; how are things going for you? Are you happily married now? I didn't think so..

2 IT IMPLIES I'M NOT DESERVING OF EPIC LOVE.

By epic love, of course, she means Chad, because nobody "falls in love" with Billy Beta. News flash; the Chads of the world are vastly outnumbered by greedy whores (some of which, I assume, are good women) and by definition not all of them are going to find "epic love" unless you're willing to admit that women are capable of loving ugly Betas just as well. And if that's true, then I think you know what you need to do, because Chad has made it clear by now that he's not interested in you.

3 IT SUGGESTS I DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WOULD-BE-NICE AND NON-NEGOTIABLES.

When you have such subconscious non-negotiables as "Be Chad" and "make me feel chemistry and epic love" then I would suggest that you don't really understand the difference yourself..

Other gems:

Some people are less subtle, like my grandparents asserting I won’t always be young and pretty and it’s my responsibility to lock down a man now. (Yes, really.)

Hmm I don't know, your grandparents have likely lived through a major war and have seen many relationships from other people, maybe they know what they're talking about? I'm sure in 10 years you'll realize they were right, but by then it will be too late.

Maybe I am picky, but for me, it sure beats the hell out of being unhappy.

Remember to get back to me when you are 40 and we'll see how well that choice has worked out.

Please don't assume you know what my standards are simply because I am single and you are not.

Seeing as how you've stayed single, I'm going to correctly assume your standards are too high for the guys who are interested in you. However, and this is important, you have to factor in that Chad will have standards too, and it's looking more and more like his standards are too high for you..

btoway · 2018-09-11T15:26:40+00:00

Some people are less subtle, like my grandparents asserting I won’t always be young and pretty and it’s my responsibility to lock down a man now. (Yes, really.)

“The truth comes knocking on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’”

houseoftolstoy · 2018-09-11T15:14:57+00:00

Some people are less subtle, like my grandparents asserting I won’t always be young and pretty and it’s my responsibility to lock down a man now. (Yes, really.)

She adds the "Yes, really" as if it is somehow not reflective of the truth. Maybe you should listen to your grandparents, otherwise you will be miserable when you are still picky but don't have as much youth and beauty to offer a man.

Skipping ahead to reason number 2:

IT IMPLIES I'M NOT DESERVING OF EPIC LOVE.

When she complains how her friends got to have the magical experience she did not have, there are some things she is missing. First, she is assuming that the start of a lasting relationship must have same excitement her friends showed. She does not even know if the supposed excitement was simply lording over their relationship or if it was genuine. Second, she is prioritizing a fantasy that may never happen over a realistic approach to dating. The idea that she deserves to have the same level of excitement with her future Mr. Right is a shortsighted approach in dating. There are far more important things.

Skipping to some stuff in reason number 3:

But single women—especially ones in their thirties who, like me, have plenty of dating and relationship experience—are generally looking for more broad qualities...

First of all, it is no surprise that all of her friends and family are mentioning her pickiness as she is single in her 30. Look where it has taken her. Writing articles trying to rationalize that she is not too picky instead of being in a happy relationship. And as for having plenty of relationship experience, it does not mean it was a benefit to you nor did you appear to learn anything.

On a side note, it always bothers me how women will talk about their experiences and mistakes as if that means they learned anything. Too often, they just have the mistakes and their consequences but nothing in terms of insightful knowledge and wisdom from it. Yet, many women champion this supposed learning process as if they need to make the mistakes themselves in order to claim they learned from them. If you already know that it will be a mistake, you don't need to make it in order to "learn from it." Not only that, but if you know it is a mistake, you have learned nothing and will learn nothing by doing the mistake yourself.

On a recent trip to Uganda, I met a fellow 30-something travel writer who had a boyfriend back home—he popped up in stories every now and then—but she had such a rich, interesting life, I didn’t even learn her man’s name until toward the end of the trip. She shared stories of kayaking with dolphins in New Zealand and hiking through the Amazon. One afternoon, toward the end of our trip, we sat next to each other on a Jeep bound for an indigenous African village. I brought up the topic of dating, and she revealed that, when she’d reached her late thirties and was still single, everyone seemed concerned about her boyfriendless status, except her. “People kept telling me I was being too picky,” she said, gazing out over the rolling hills and jade-colored shrubs of Uganda’s Kidepo Valley. “But then I met Rich, and honestly, I’m soooo glad I waited.”

Here she is under the wrongful impression that because things worked out for this woman, things will for sure work out for her. She more likely will not find the same fortune as the woman she had met. Also, I recall her mentioning wanting children in her future. Times a wasting, given that she does not even have a man picked out as the future father of her children. The only "children" I see in her future are the ones that have for all over them, and that maternal feeling won't last too long when the pet dies with its considerably lower life expectancy than a human. That's where her pickiness will lead her, with no choice to even be had.

NoMoreMrNiceGuy47 · 2018-09-11T18:59:10+00:00

But single women—especially ones in their thirties who,

She's approaching the wall (a quick google search shows that she has hit it, but is blissfully ignorant), and time is running out fast to lock someone down.

like me, have plenty of dating and relationship experience—

Most probably a lot of experience on the carousel, since she never really had a proper relationship on the basis of what she mentions below.

are generally looking for more broad qualities that make for a healthy relationship: chemistry, communication skills, physical attraction, compatible senses of humor, and an easy rapport.

I wonder what her requirements were prior to riding the carousel into her 30s and realizing these "qualities" that she desires from men. I guess any man who she had "chemistry, communication skills, compatible senses of humor, and an easy rapport" with but wasn't physically attracted to (even though they were most likely above average looking) were kept around as an orbiter or friend-zoned.

Enjoy your cats.

BiggusDickus- · 2018-09-11T17:18:41+00:00

This is some weapons grade delusion going on here. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

Bwhite1 · 2018-09-12T04:36:21+00:00

Sometimes I feel like this grand love that people look for isn't what they think it is.

What if, like time, experiences are less as you age. Time when you're 10.... Holy shit it's next week already?? Time when you're 20.... Holy shit it's next month already?? Time when you're 30.... Holy shit it's next year already!?

I've seen this attributed to 1 year at 10 being 10% of your life, at 20 5%... so on and so forth.

What if experiences are the same way? After the n^th date they overall novelty is reduced by 1/n. After the n^th kiss... 1/n (Based on my experience if it's the same scale as time this would be more like 1/n² )

So, you have people around you that fell head over heels 10 years ago when they were in highschool, their n is 0? 1? 10? that same experience will be far more significant. The real delusion comes from the lack of recognition that maybe you already met that person that would have done that to you, but you didnt value them as much as your friend did?

Tracergold · 2018-09-12T13:01:55+00:00

I know several women who fit this bill perfectly. They've swallowed so many feminist lies that they've been ruined; they will never, ever find a man, because no man is good enough.

Has to be a six foot tall, ten inch dick, Ivy League, super wealthy family, finance industry career, former college athlete who loves being castigated about feminism and the evils of the patriarchy while simultaneously being an alpha male who makes a ton of money and is always in charge.

What these women have been trained to want simply does not exist. And these women are old, with huge N-counts, because YOU GO GRRRL, and therefore they very quickly become totally unwanted by any man of real value.

It's an epidemic in America.

CiceroVoltaire · 2018-09-11T13:19:08+00:00

send in the cats and boxes of wine.

TheRabid · 2018-09-11T19:07:28+00:00

I would like to see her articles in a few years.

poloppoyop · 2018-09-11T19:29:26+00:00

You’d expect this essay to have a cute wrap-up: Surprise, I held out until I met my new guy, and boy am I relieved I didn’t settle.

Not really. Over 30, huge cock rider and hoping to settle with a rich Chad? At least you did not mention children from previous guys. But if you want your own child (the US needs more criminals) you should start thinking about checking for a donor, freezing some eggs or adoption because you'll stay single.

BluepillProfessor · 2018-09-11T20:27:35+00:00

single women—especially ones in their thirties who, like me, have plenty of dating and relationship experience—are generally looking for more broad qualities that make for a healthy relationship: chemistry, communication skills, physical attraction, compatible senses of humor, and an easy rapport.

Let me run this through the hamsturlator:

Even desperate women who have slammed into the wall, like me, and who have been thrown around like a sweaty whore and banged out by tons of dudes, are generally looking for broad qualities that make a man Chad like: Fuckability, shuts up and listens when I talk, did I already say he has to be Chad, and he is able to realize I am gutter trash so he does not put me on a pedestal which creates easy ~~rapport~~ tingles.

AllahHatesFags · 2018-09-12T14:38:23+00:00

She is waiting for that ever-elusive Alpha bucks guy who is never going to come, and the quality of man she can attract is declining as she ages. She will likely end up with plenty of feline companions.

SenselessNoise · 2018-09-12T21:46:37+00:00

Some people are less subtle, like my grandparents asserting I won’t always be young and pretty and it’s my responsibility to lock down a man now. (Yes, really.)

Yes, really.

Title	Everyone tries to tell her to stop being so damn picky. She responds by explaining that she has every damn right to be picky.
Author	MastersBlaster
Upvotes	74
Comments	64
Date	September 11, 2018 11:27 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/9ewoon/everyone_tries_to_tell_her_to_stop_being_so_damn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/everyone-tries-to-tell-her-to-stop-being-so-damn.348482 https://theredarchive.com/post/348482

Comments

1 YOU'RE TELLING ME NOT TO TRUST MY GUT.

2 IT IMPLIES I'M NOT DESERVING OF EPIC LOVE.

3 IT SUGGESTS I DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WOULD-BE-NICE AND NON-NEGOTIABLES.