I am not sure if this belongs here. I kind of want to take her side over his. But still fun to read.

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2018-05-21T16:44:15+00:00

TRANSLATION:

My husband and I were together for 10 years, married for 6 of them. No kids. We eventually grew apart - that is to say, I grew up and he didn't. He wanted to live the life of a teenager well into his 30s.

"My husband didn't want to accept that his life was basically over, and still held on to his annoying "hobbies" and "interests" like a shitlord.

The last 2-3 years together were horrible. After his dad passed away, he gained all this weight and lost his job. I tried to help and support him but he would just wallow in self-pity. He stopped pitching in around the house. He spent all his free time smoking weed and dicking around on the computer. He had to sell his junk car to help pay our bills.

"His dad passed away, but he was a man so I don't know why he was so depressed. Then for reasons I can't understand, he became depressed and it's almost like he had a life changing event. But nothing changed with me, so I don't understand why he all of a sudden didn't give a shit about life anymore. If it was his mother i'd understand, but wtf does a father even do?"

Eventually I'd had enough and we got a divorce in 2015. We've essentially been 'no contact' since it was finalized.

"That'll show that lazy piece of shit to mope around when his dad dies!!1!"

Last Friday I happened to bump into him downtown and he's a completely different person. He lost all the weight he put on and had actually toned up some. He was wearing a tailored suit (he had one ill-fitting suit for weddings and funerals when we were together) and a nice watch. He may have gotten hair plugs or something because his thinning hair wasn't as pronounced as before. He told me he bought a condo nearby within walking distance of his new job - a well-known tech firm in our town. Our encounter was brief and he was nice to me. He even apologized for how our relationship had soured and wished me "all the best". It's been 4 days since I saw him and honestly I just get angrier the more I think about it. I gave 10 of the best years of my life to this man and got nothing from it. We never had kids. He never had much money. When we divorced, I started from square one.

"My divorce-rape was supposed to ruin him, but now his life is better than ever! I don't understand why he loves life now; the only thing that has changed here is that I removed myself from his life..."

Now he's "Mr. Successful" while I'm struggling. My job is very stressful and I'm making less than I was 5 years ago. I live alone and money is tight. I've been having some intestinal / digestive issues and doctors can't seem to diagnose what's wrong with me.

"Life is so unfair. My job is super hard, way harder than that asshole's dad dying on him. He doesn't give me any of his money anymore, and that slice of humble pie I was forced to eat hurts my intestines. Also, my doctor had a good idea of what was hurting me but he was a piece of shit misogynist so I changed to a female doctor (#timesup) but she can't figure out where I went wrong at all...

I guess I just want to know why he couldn't have been better to me, why I was never worth the effort.

Where are all the good men? Why can't I find someone like my ex-husband? I watched Wonder Woman dammit; I'm a fucking goddess! I am worth the effort, and I deserve a British prince too"

BlackestPillForYou · 2018-05-21T16:39:16+00:00

best revenge is bettering yourself.

BluepillProfessor · 2018-05-21T17:29:20+00:00

My husband and I were together for 10 years, married for 6 of them. No kids.

We eventually grew apart - that is to say, I grew up and he didn't. He wanted to live the life of a teenager well into his 30s.

No, you just nagged and bitched at him all over the place.

The last 2-3 years together were horrible. After his dad passed away, he gained all this weight and lost his job.

They were horrible for you, you don't give a shit about how they were for him. The failure of your marriage was all his fault, right?

I tried to help and support him

You talked to him and then just stayed away from him. You nagged and bitched at him to talk to a counselor because hey, his feelings and well being aren't your responsibility, right?

but he would just wallow in self-pity. He stopped pitching in around the house. He spent all his free time smoking weed and dicking around on the computer. He had to sell his junk car to help pay our bills.

He was in pain and you didn't give a shit.

Eventually I'd had enough and we got a divorce in 2015. We've essentially been 'no contact' since it was finalized.

You had to do what you had to do for you. You couldn't or wouldn't help him. Or, you know, maybe you two just weren't right for each other.

Last Friday I happened to bump into him downtown and he's a completely different person. He lost all the weight he put on and had actually toned up some. He was wearing a tailored suit (he had one ill-fitting suit for weddings and funerals when we were together) and a nice watch. He may have gotten hair plugs or something because his thinning hair wasn't as pronounced as before. He told me he bought a condo nearby within walking distance of his new job - a well-known tech firm in our town.

Holy shit. You left him, and he got better. He turned himself around. Maybe because he didn't have to listen to you bitching at him and depriving him of sex and complaining at him all the time.

Our encounter was brief and he was nice to me. He even apologized for how our relationship had soured and wished me "all the best".

Your marriage's failure was largely your fault, but he magnanimously took on his part (though you won't acknowledge one iota of repsonsbility). Kinda sux to see how good he's got it. You thought so much of this you just had to post this to reddit to complain about how this man you hate turned his life around.

It's been 4 days since I saw him and honestly I just get angrier the more I think about it.

Oh, yes, it's all about YOU and YOUR pain, right?

I gave 10 of the best years of my life to this man and got nothing from it. We never had kids. He never had much money. When we divorced, I started from square one.

Oh yes, it's all about YOU, right? He was depressed and hurting and you did exactly bupkus to help him. You cared so little for him you divorced him right in the midst of it. You left him when he needed you most. And YOU are the one who is now bitching and complaining?

You know what this is ? THis is "how come he couldn't give me all that hot bod/money/awesomeness"? Well, he couldn't, because bad shit happened and he looked to you for help, and you abandoned him. you were a shit wife. And now you want back on the ex husband gravy train now that it's running at full speed. Fuck you.

Now he's "Mr. Successful" while I'm struggling. My job is very stressful and I'm making less than I was 5 years ago. I live alone and money is tight. I've been having some intestinal / digestive issues and doctors can't seem to diagnose what's wrong with me.

Boo fucking hoo. Fuck off. You left him. You can't have him back. You didn't want him when he was struggling. You can't have him now that he's turned it around (no thanks to you, I might add).

I guess I just want to know why he couldn't have been better to me, why I was never worth the effort.

Didn't you just tell us? His dad died. He got depressed. You decided to leave him.

I know what happened: It went on too long, your "help" turned into bitching and nagging and complaining and loss of sexual attraction and "I don't want to sleep with you" and "I don't want to fuck you" and "go away" and "blah blah blah".

You stopped being worth the effort BECAUSE YOU LEFT. And he couldn't put forth the effort. HE WAS HURTING AND DEPRESSED BY THINGS THAT WERE BEYOND HIS CONTROL. He looked to you for help, and you weren't there. He looked to you for support, and you left.

Fuck you, cunt. FUCK YOU.

Don_Fartalot · 2018-05-21T16:46:10+00:00

So much for 'til death do us part'.

[deleted] · 2018-05-21T16:58:31+00:00

"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best."

Then he says "But I do hope everything works out for you" after dropping that nuke hahahaha

v_maet · 2018-05-21T17:12:59+00:00

This was posted on r/MGTOW a while back.

Guys, this is how to get revenge. Clean up your act. Work hard and become successful and live a good life without these useless cunts.

KingRobotPrince · 2018-05-21T17:18:58+00:00

You know that if it was the other way round she would not be complaining. Probably be boasting on a different sub how great it felt seeing her loser ex-husband struggle.

This is likely a good example of someone who needed to communicate, go to counselling, give some ultimatums, maybe even move out for a couple of weeks to send a message. If she managed to reach him then be supportive, he would probably have wanted to stay with her in his improved state. As it was, it kind of seems like maybe she left him at his lowest.

I mean, it's only a body, a watch and a suit. Surely she's not that superficial? /s

BewareTheOldMan · 2018-05-21T18:10:08+00:00

You've got to read her side of the story and fill in the gaps.

At no point in her little diatribe, did she even consider there might have been something she could have done in the marriage to improve it. All the problems were him him him him.

She probably nags and emasculates and is surprised she reduced a grieving husband to a beta.
I'll put solid money that she didn't want to put out a lot during the tail end of the marriage.
After she was gone, he saw how her presence was sapping his manhood and he snapped out of it.

Now she's pissed because she has to deal with cognitive dissonance on more than one front. That without her he was able to pull it together, with her he was stuck in a rut. So empirically the problem was with what was removed that was impeding his progress....her.

Of course she has to hamster that into SHE DID NOTHING WRONG it's all him.

The second layer of cognitive dissonance, is that leaving the marriage was a terrible decision for her, but a great one for him. She wasn't trying to do him any favors you see, so OF COURSE she's pissed that he's better off and she's worse. The intention was for the opposite. But she can't admit that to herself. So she just has to hamster that anger into something plausibly justifiable.

Take her side if you want Blaster. But remember how much women mentally rewrite reality to make themselves look like perfect princesses and their BB husbands as deadbeats.

[deleted] · 2018-05-21T17:15:43+00:00

schadenfreude is a powerful thing.

Westernhagen · 2018-05-21T17:27:11+00:00

I gave 10 of the best years of my life to this man and got nothing from it. We never had kids. He never had much money. When we divorced, I started from square one.

(insert gif of Nelson from The Simpsons saying, "Ha, ha!")

It sounds like he got rid of the "used car" (his post-wall, post-fertile wife) at just the right time!

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2018-05-21T19:04:15+00:00

We don't know the whole story, maybe he was a lazy sh who needed that kick in the ass to get his life back on track.

The issue here is that she didn't do the same after leaving him and now she is looking for someone or something to blame for her lack of success.

If he was able to accomplish so much in 3 years when he was at rock bottom, why was she unable to do the same from a better starting point?

I feel a bit of pity for her but not much.

You are responsible for your own happiness and success, especially when others who have/had it worse than you can prove what's

v_maet · 2018-05-21T21:46:44+00:00

Lol @ the top comment trying to consoler her saying she was at least responsible for his change.

He changed because he was finally free from her vapid clutches.

Freedom_30 · 2018-05-21T18:38:41+00:00

Women really don't trust doctors because its all in their heads.

the_unseen_one · 2018-05-22T02:39:54+00:00

Wew boy, so her husband's dad dies, he gets really fucking depressed, she does virtually nothing to help him, then ditches him when he needs her most. He gets his life on track on his own without her stupid ass along, and she's furious he didn't do that when she bullied him for daring to be depressed?

I gave 10 of the best years of my life to this man and got nothing from it. We never had kids. He never had much money. When we divorced, I started from square one.

The real reason comes out. She's upset that she had to simply cut her losses, and couldn't get a nice, fat payout or 18-21 years of indentured servitude out of her gift of ten years. The worst part is the people in the comments stroking her clit and calling the guy a loser for not knocking this thot up or having money to steal on the way out.

hollybegin · 2018-05-22T03:18:35+00:00

I kind of want to take her side over his...

Why? Seems to me she's a toxic, envious bitch.

enjoy_life88 · 2018-05-21T20:44:17+00:00

Her fall is heart-warming.

Overkillengine · 2018-05-21T21:50:26+00:00

Fucking gold comment:

"You can't always be both the catalyst for change and the one to reap the benefits."

But yeah, she's just salty and trying to avoid openly admitting he improved without her there to drag him down. Because that would require admitting less than flattering things about herself.

BestWeight4 · 2018-05-22T02:09:37+00:00

... dicking around on the computer.

...his new job - a well-known tech firm in our town.

Who would've thought that dicking around on the computer would land him a tech job.

kyledontcare · 2018-05-22T02:58:25+00:00

Stand by your man ladies, you'll be surprised how far he can fly. Don't just demand crap and act upset he isn't your slave naked on the floor kissing your feet. When he wins, you win.

RPBulletDodger · 2018-05-21T20:09:18+00:00

When this happens, it is called The Switch Up.

[deleted] · 2018-05-21T21:38:39+00:00

I like how the comments in that thread were all "His turnaround was probably because of you" but it seems just as likely that he was doing better because she was holding him back from fulfilling his potential.

TitySuker · 2018-05-22T10:47:30+00:00

It never occurred to her that she might've been the anchor holding him down.

SirKolbath · 2018-05-22T21:40:56+00:00

Oh it definitely belongs here. Jesus, her hamster is spinning like a spinning thing.

I'm on her side until she suddenly makes it about her. Well, it was always about her, that's why she divorced him, but she isn't angry that he worked hard. She's angry that he didn't work harder for her.

cezariobirbiglio · 2018-05-23T03:23:03+00:00

I want to pretend he conned her into divorcing him. No alimony, likely didn't have anything for her to take in the divorce and she thought she was getting a good deal by not having to pay him. If you have to get out of a marriage, what better way than to fake implode.

[deleted] · 2018-05-24T10:42:36+00:00

She was keeping him down all along. It took a big shock and her to leave him at his lowest point for him to realize this.

Marriage: "For good and for bad(for bad only for the woman part)".

Title	I am not sure if this belongs here. I kind of want to take her side over his. But still fun to read.
Author	MastersBlaster
Upvotes	114
Comments	91
Date	May 21, 2018 4:27 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/8l241w/i_am_not_sure_if_this_belongs_here_i_kind_of_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/i-am-not-sure-if-this-belongs-here-i-kind-of-want.349326 https://theredarchive.com/post/349326

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