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How to be a good leader

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March 13, 2020

Am not gonna lie I have been scared of leadership roles my entire life. So I actively avoided them (I didn't join the military primarily because of this)

But currently for my app dev class I am the leader for a team of two. I do not know if the other individual is lazy or busy as he has not been carrying is weight to the point that I always gotta remind him to complete tasks. He also takes too long to complete them

This is a huge project we are working on am concerned I might do a lot of the work. As I am doing right now

Post Information
Title How to be a good leader
Author Cmdrj-nice
Upvotes 68
Comments 43
Date 13 March 2020 07:11 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]Batman-von-Pepe57 points58 points  (9 children) | Copy

As a leader your priorities in order are; (1)your mission, (2)your men, (3)yourself.

If you have a weak link you need to find out why they are a weak link. Maybe they don't fully understand their duties, don't have the proper equipment, or don't have the necessary skill set to accomplish it.

as he has not been carrying is weight to the point that I always gotta remind him to complete tasks.

You're going to have to have a talk with this individual. They need to be aware of their specific tasks, i.e. what you expect out of them and when, if they can't meet these expectations then they shouldn't be there because as a leader the ultimate responsibility is yours. To me it sounds more like they are either lazy or think they are better than you and dragging feet is their passive aggressive bitch-tits way of getting back at you.

How are you assigning tasks? Are you using open-ended timelines or do you have set-in-stone due dates the tasks must adhere to? Meaning do you just say "hey Bill you have task A, get it done." Or "you've got task A which is X and needs to be done by Y so we can all move on to task B."

I hate micromanaging and tend to follow Elon's attitude when it comes to meetings--very few because they are a waste of time--but if he is having trouble with accountability maybe you need to manage him closer like with "check-ups" every few days. Hey if they want to act like children then they will be treated like children.

[–]DoesItMatterTooYou4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff in here OP, listen to him.

[–]TheRedPillRipper4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I might do a lot of the work

That’s never the issue. As long YOU get the results then don’t waste too much time chasing someone who’s either inept or unmotivated to contribute.

The important thing is to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Have an email chain of ALL the communication. Your team members that fuck up/mess up/or don’t show up. DOCUMENT IT ALL. So if by any crucial stage your project isn’t delivered; you’ve got evidence. You can then approach your teacher to either have that member dropped from your team or switch out yourself.

Conversely; you can handle the majority of the project yourself until it is completed and delivered. YOU’VE GOT EVIDENCE then of you completing the majority of the work; so you can claim the majority of the credit.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]Cmdrj-nice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everything is documented every piece of code someone adds to the project has their name on it. So am not too worried about evidence

[–]bobvillacooking0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Great advice. I had a similar responsibility in college. You can try setting weekly action items during a short weekly tag up that are for the most part all due during the next tag up the following week. It can be difficult to navigate when you’re a “first among equals”. Remember, if your group fails a goal it’s your fault as the leader.

[–]Cmdrj-nice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I scheduled weekly meetings every Thursday for our meetings. But with the classes moving online I will set up a discord server or Skype call for our weekly meetings

[–]Cmdrj-nice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was using open ended timelines but I switched to deadlines as we have our first presentation of the project soon. Also we had one weekly meetings but with this current situation am moving it online.

[–]mikorkeza0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This guy knows.

[–]KingGerbz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s important to demonstrate the value in the tasks you assign people as well. Make sure they understand how important their task is, and what the consequences will be if they do it & if they don’t.

Find ways to relate it back to your team’s mission.

Law #1: When asking for help, appeal to people’s self interest. Never their mercy or gratitude.

[–]pussymail0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Didn’t know Shikamaru was on this sub

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

Listen to Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink on audible.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

I came here to say this.

If you don’t have time - the 2 most important things are - JUST MAKE. a DECISION and then good full communication- get on the same page and make sure they understand fully

[–]dominicthetiger2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

There is no such thing as "No Time" when it comes to Jocko.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good. You have no time ? GET IT DONE ANYWAY

[–]monkey-2020-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

I don't trust anything you say because of your name. I think it should be Bluepillbetasmallcock.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Well, my name is a joke on the most obnoxious and stupid name possible. You fell for the bait you fucking idiot 😂😂😂😂

[–]elemPerf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Isn't there a way we can get past this?

[–]monkey-20200 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It is your choice to be a douche. Your name kind of fits. I do think you're a "shorty".

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

but i'm not a douche. I'm not short either :)

[–]Dr_Van_Nosstrand5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

I've been in a leadership role in sports, social meetups, and in business. I've read probably close to 100 books on leadership and watched hundreds of hours of videos about leadership. There's some key points I can share with you:

  1. With all I've read and studied, I've learned that no matter how much you think you know about being a great leader and what great leadership is, there is always more to learn. Stay humble and remember you don't know everything. Seek to always improve your ability to lead.
  2. Great leadership starts with recognizing the above but also always remembering that people are always looking at you, watching you, and feeding off of your lead, so always put forth a sense that you have everything under control, because if you don't, your inability to project that you do have everything under control will sink your mission faster than any other factor. Watch this brief scene from U-571 which Harvey Keitel perfectly summarizes why this is so important:
  3. People want different things from their leader, and you can't please everyone all the time, but the one thing everyone wants from their leadership is direction. Make a fucking decision and direct people to execute it. Above all else, if you have an inability to make decisions, irrespective of whether or not they are good decisions, you will fail as a leader. People want action and direction. Give it to them. Quickly.
  4. You can't lead people who don't want to follow leaders. Translation: get rid of bad actors, cancers, nuisances, anything that disrupts the team. People will LOVE you when you do this. People would MUCH rather pick up the extra slack themselves than continue to work with people who they consider to be slackers that drag down the team.
  5. The ability to succeed largely depends on your ability to put the right people in the right position so that they have every opportunity to succeed. NFL coaches are notorious for offering this up as an excuse as to why their team lost "I didn't do a good enough job putting the players in the right position to be successful." Translation: Put your people in a position where they can play to their strengths. Find out each person's strength, and give them every opportunity to let that strength shine through and help propel the team forward to victory. In other words, don't put Sydney Crosby on defense, or put Steph Curry at center.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't lead people who don't want to follow leaders. Translation: get rid of bad actors, cancers, nuisances, anything that disrupts the team. People will LOVE you when you do this. People would MUCH rather pick up the extra slack themselves than continue to work with people who they consider to be slackers that drag down the team.

I learned early in my career after firing a bad employee and hiring a new one. Now when I start a new organization, the first thing I do is clean house. It usually takes about a month to figure out who is who.

[–]we_trippin_balls0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What would you say is the best thing to do when there is a heavy amount of criticism, often for dumb reasons.

Say you want to lead the group to a certain direction and you already have a few people on board. But then you have 1 or more others arguing they don't like the idea, or what roles your placing some members in, or who you're getting rid of. Then it's just them spouting their mouth while everyone else in the group is too afraid to speak up and pick a side.

So there ends up being an unease in the group, and getting rid of these annoying loud mouths may come with consequences such as an important member opting out as well, or sometimes they are the important members themselves for whatever reason. Or even if there not, what would be the correct course of action?

And you just wish they can shut up and stop bringing up bullshit politics and trump into the discussion, and just be on board and everything would be fine.

How would you deal with a similar situation?

[–]Dr_Van_Nosstrand1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's several different ways to deal with this. Look up "conflict resolution" for basic techniques. But for me, without knowing these people, I'd use direct confrontation to a) re-emphasize the fact that I am in charge and b) you are either on board with me or you're not, there's no middle ground

I'd give a brief speech about the importance of unity and emphasize that while some people may not agree with my decision, it's still my decision and in order to succeed we need everyone on board. Those that don't get on board will be dealt with afterwards, so put your best foot forward.

If people still doubt you and cause trouble then the problem is your ability to lead period, it's not the actual matter you're making a decision about. I would tend to think you've lost the respect of the team and that is an entirely different subject. You have to handle that differently.

[–]WhatRemainsAfter7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

Leadership is an act and inherent quality.

You either are a good leader or not. No two ways about it. This is the reason why people mention leadership on resumes.

If you feel, you are not, then simple communicate with higher management, they will understand and make someone else the TL. This will save you lot of headache and probably help your main job as developer. Managing humans are draining and thankless task.

Or you never had the chance to lead and just needed an opportunity, give it a go. Learn everyday. This will teach you how to lead a team, in future your family and above all - yourself.

[–]DoesItMatterTooYou5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Leadership can be learned/taught and people should strive for it if nothing else for your own personal growth. Some of the foundations of a good leader can improve your personal life as well. I do agree at the front line manager or supervisor level it can be draining. You basically just have to set the bar by example and coach to success or their departure.

[–]WhatRemainsAfter0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with all the points you mentions except one.

Leadership is a virtue. Not everyone can be taught to lead. And when I say leader, I mean leading a pack than just self. Which brings to rest of your points.

Knowing our quality and honing our skills according to that can save us lot of time waste and frustation.

[–]DoesItMatterTooYou1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps we can agree that leadership is both a mindset and actions supported by that mindset. Some people seem to have innate tendencies toward leadership traits but it is more likely those traits were demonstrated by a father figure in childhood years. Other people are a mess and seem like they would never be a leader, but groups like the military routinely teach the foundations and mindsets needed to support effective leadership behaviors.

[–]poopdeck-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

It absolutely cannot be taught. Source: army and myriad 'leadership' training. 90% of 'leaders' continue to be useless.

[–]Terdmuffin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Leadership can definitely be learned. Good leaders and managers don't always start that way. That being said, not everyone can become a good leader.

[–]poopdeck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It can be honed if one possesses the natural ability, yes. But it’s a rare gift

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Leadership can be taught. It's just a series of simple principles to be followed.

[–]KillaJewels2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Get a sense of his current plate, get him to commit to a reasonable day/time to have his work ready by (get buy-in), set the expectations (be very clear) and follow-up regularly (but not too often; do NOT micro-manage). It is not your job to remind him, but following up is a way to hold his feet to the fire.

Example of following up:

Hey just want to follow-up regarding the upcoming deadline. How's it coming along? Do you have any questions on it?

This way, you subtley remind him, hold his feet to the fire and get a sense of where he's at. If he does fall by the way-side (not due to emergencies or extenuating circumstances), ask him why.

If he falls by the wayside even after your follow-ups (negligence), then that is when you engage the professor. Make sure all comms are electronic to cover yourself with evidence that you are doing your part and he is not.

This is the best you can do.

[–]Cmdrj-nice[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That what am doing setting deadlines for him

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Early in my career I took a front line manager class. SMART was the acronym we used.

Specific - Do the data analysis code

Measurable - Can I run the analysis code once it's developed? What milestones can be checked before the final delivery?

Achievable - If you yourself worked on it, could you do it by then?

Realistic/Relevent - Does it support your app development project?

Timebound. - Need it by next Thursday.

Lead people and manage things. Ask him what resources he needs from you to get the task done. Sit down with him and ask him to walk you through his thoughts. Make him commit to getting to you when he will actually going to do it.

"Hey what day can you have this done by?"

"Oh I think I can have it by Friday"

"We need to do it by Wednesday if we are going to incorporate the other functions in. Can you do it by then?"


"Ok, we both agreed to have it by Wednesday right?"


By getting people to actually agree to things if they then start to slip they will have a subconscious consistency problem. Their brain doesn't want that so they will do everything they can to not break the promise. When you give him arbitrary deadlines, in his brain he's like "I didn't agree to that" so there's no inconsistency. So make him commit so he's less likely to miss.

It's a neat technique that can build compliance later. Add to it, "Hey I may ask for help later, would that be ok?"

No one ever says no. Then when you do need to, you can say "Hey about that help I asked about. I think I need it."

[–]Cmdrj-nice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So yesterday I asked him to finish making the last two tables for the database by the end of the day. He said he would do it by the evening or this morning. It almost 4pm and their is no new work in the repository from him. I hate working with people like this who would much rather do all the work at the last minute

[–]poopdeck1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

The other guy who does nothing while you do all the work? Welcome to every job you'll ever have.

[–]Lord_Fluffykins2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dealing with this currently. I have two co-workers who have essentially stopped doing their assigned duties and play on their phones all day while I kill myself keeping things afloat. As peers on the same hierarchy level I’m not comfortable correcting them and I’m not paid enough for that shit.

I’ve spoken with management but I think they’re not getting the job done because nothing is changing. What do?

[–]poopdeck1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you need that job then do whatever you can to become management/move up the ladder as fast as possible. If you don't need that job, leave.

[–]Lord_Fluffykins1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the advice and yeah I’m definitely on my way up the ladder but the big wigs just brought someone new in that fills the role I would be pursuing.

Am looking for other jobs but live in a shithole part of Murica where jobs that require my skills are limited. Would be highly gratifying to put in notice, leave and watch everything go down in flames from a safe, higher paying and less taxing distance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here’s an amazing book on leadership that is easy to read but very informative. It’s around 200 pages: The Essential Wooden, A Lifetime of Lessons on Leaders and Leadership

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Buy Extreme Ownership: How Navy SEALs Lead And Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. It's a great book on leadership written by 2 retired SEALs who led the most decorated Special Ops team of the Iraq war. Their task unit included the legendary Chris Kyle and Johnny Kim, the SEAL who became a doctor and then a fucking astronaut.

It has everything you're looking for.

[–]1rugged790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As a leader, one thing that you have to know is, you've always got to be willing to work harder than anyone else.

It's just natural. You have to pull your weight, and also check on the health and well-being of your subordinates. However, when people are not pulling their weight, you must remind them that they're not going to receive the benefits of team's labor if they don't step it up.

In this case, the goal is a passing grade. If he doesn't pull his weight, the teacher will be shown his contribution. She will then make a determination on his grade separately, based on how much or how little he has contributed.

Only the wolves get to eat, everyone else has to beg for scraps.

Part of the reason people that did the bare minimum yesterday, are worrying about coronavirus today.

[–]chocolatex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A good leader absorbs the blame but distributes the success

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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