Dad is dead

Resolution437 · 2020-12-28T06:30:19+00:00

Don't do things you don't give a fuck about. Allow yourself to just be. Your pack just got heavier, and it will be like that for a very long ass time. Good news is that it's your dad's memory you're carrying with you. My condolences.

MyRedGlasses · 2020-12-28T06:42:21+00:00

"A man doesn't become a man until his father dies" - Freud

Continue to develop yourself as a man don't forget red pill teachings, and live your life accordingly.

daproest1 · 2020-12-28T06:47:55+00:00

My condolences. I know this won’t make you feel any better, or maybe it might, but the reason you feel this loss so much is because u had a real father. A lot of us don’t. If my dad passed, I wouldn’t feel like you. But if my mom passed? Different story. Don’t do shit u don’t give a fuck about. Forget women. Keep building yourself up. Be someone he’d be proud of. Sounds like you already are.

kaizen987 · 2020-12-28T10:15:39+00:00

Dad died too. Don't care what others say, time never fully heals but there isn't a harder fact of life you'll ever have to deal with.

Guinnessthemenace2 · 2020-12-28T11:29:55+00:00

[deleted]

PlottingOnTheComeUp · 2020-12-28T11:15:40+00:00

There’s no magic answer that’s going to help your situation. You have baggage that needs addressing/grieving or you’ll just unintentionally carry that into other areas of your life.

Guinnessthemenace2 · 2020-12-28T10:55:26+00:00

22 age

Sylvester_Sterone · 2020-12-28T11:10:18+00:00

Hang in there. Just lost a grandfather last week and the burial was on Christmas Eve. It sucks but I have to maintain my routines.

Trickyep · 2020-12-28T12:45:45+00:00

The answer is; you don't get past this. You accept it, embrace it, and integrate it. This is your dad you're talking about not some stranger. There's enough stupid people in this subreddit that can make you think that crying over your loss is a bad beta thing? Come on.... You need to learn to let go and if this is getting on your way all the time go seek some therapy. I'm sorry for your loss. If you guys think you can live without attachments you are all lost in life.

Guinnessthemenace2 · 2020-12-28T13:24:33+00:00

You might find value in reading Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning. There is no other book that holds more value for somebody that's going through hell.

I'm sorry for your loss. My own dad has been battling cancer on and off for over a decade now, and my grandfather just barely pulled out the other side after spending about six months in the hospital for it too. I know that I'm going to watch them both die from it, but that won't make it any easier. I hope you manage to find enough meaning to make it all worth it even with the suffering you have to face.

Edit: Since I didn't technically answer your question, remember that Red Pill truths still apply, sidebar and all that. However, your grief can be a powerful tool, as well. What you're going through adds depth to your character that can be used to your advantage. Don't tell women up front about what's going on, keep it hidden when you first meet someone new. Your grief will still show up in your body language and tone of voice (your vibe, if you will), but as long as you're still fun and engaging, that will make you seem more mysterious and alluring. Only once you've established that you don't talk about it with many people should you reveal the suffering that you've experienced. Make it seem like a "beauty and the beast" moment; she was able to get you to open up when nobody else could. Even then, though, once you open up about it, you can't be crying on her shoulder. It has to be a momentary show of weakness followed by a return to a Stoic frame. If you reveal weakness and then continue to harp on it, it's just weak and unattractive. If you reveal weakness and then make it obvious that it doesn't stop you from being a strong alpha, then it adds depth to you and makes you more interesting.

Rimefang · 2020-12-28T14:15:09+00:00

Easy. A day at a time.

Remember that even though you are a great man now, at one point you were just a little boy who didn't know better. This man raised you to the best of his abilities. Take solace in this and grieve as you can.

Your father was just a man, just like you. Remember that he also lost people, yet still raised you, and he survived. If he can do it, so can you. Just takes time.

MushroomMo · 2020-12-28T17:19:54+00:00

Drink some mushroom tea and meditate. You will find the answers you seek.

xxx69harambe69xxx · 2020-12-28T06:57:20+00:00

find family or someone to grieve with besides yourself dummy, its human to grieve with others not alone

KatanaRunner · 2020-12-28T11:05:33+00:00

Grieving is the healthiest thing you can do, because if you don't and keep it in it may make things a lot worse that it can lead to damaging your emotional health. You don't want that. Take it easy, one day at a time, and keep moving forward.

cunningcaring · 2020-12-28T11:11:14+00:00

Grieving is normal. It takes time to move on, usually about a year.

ProdigyPizza · 2020-12-28T12:36:17+00:00

Have you tried stoicism? Helped me a great deal with my shit.

TeddyMGTOW · 2020-12-28T12:52:38+00:00

sorry for your loss.

It takes TIME, both to mourn a loss and become RP.

Unlikely_Composer · 2020-12-28T13:03:50+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss brother. Unfortunately, loss is a part of life. Just make sure that your dad lives on through you.

It will get easier, it just takes a long time.

150420throwaway · 2020-12-28T15:01:01+00:00

Shit man, my condolences. The only thing you can do that won’t take a toll on your mental health is remember your dad for who he was, what he taught you and all the good memories you’ve had with him.

It’s undoubtedly painful for that to happen to anyone who has had a good relationship with their parent, just realise that it’s normal to feel like this. Regardless of what people say, time heals.

If you want to be more productive and have less time to grieve (don’t get me wrong, it’s necessary to have that too, but at one point it’s too much), find any hobby, maybe read a book, instruments are good. You sound like a practical man so maybe something that is creative and requires precision and skill- wood working/carving or something similar. If you’re in the US, then from what I hear it’s easy to get into a shooting club/range, and I find shooting quite relaxing/meditative (of course only do this if you consider yourself healthy mentally and actually want to do this, it could function as some form of relaxation for you as well as from what I gather your pops most definitely shot guns too, so it’s a form of ‘heirloom’, maybe).

Stay strong my friend

lukakzinho · 2020-12-28T15:10:14+00:00

bro i feel you when my grandfather died who was kinda my dad (my dad fcked off when i was 4) i was fucked up for a year. the worst thing was i could even say goodbye before he died. it takes time bro. collect all of the photos you have of him ane store them, be proud of yourself in life and make him proud brother. take as much time as you need man, and if some fucker says crying over that is beta remember he is a fucked up idiot in his head and dont listen to him my condolences bro

Bannedstiny · 2020-12-28T15:20:21+00:00

You need to deprogram from the idea of needing to "get laid." Give yourself some time to let it settle. Eventually you are going to get tired of feeling down and will probably want to be with someone, romantically or otherwise. It's probably better to let that happen when it feels right.

rnsbrum · 2020-12-28T15:21:11+00:00

That is the way its supposed to be. You buried your father, and not the other way around. Now the cycle continues... Now your children will bury you, and hopefully you wont have to bury any of them.

frappuccinoCoin · 2020-12-28T15:30:10+00:00

I hope it gets better for you, but something needs to be said.

"Killing men for a living" is not a reason that makes someone an alpha. War should be a necessity, not an asparation.

jackandjill22 · 2020-12-28T15:32:43+00:00

Take your time man. There's nothing to be ashamed of

trv22 · 2020-12-28T16:07:39+00:00

best thing you can do is keep making him proud, sorry for you loss.

useyourillusion89 · 2020-12-28T16:55:18+00:00

It will take time, a long time. My dad was my best friend and everything I could of asked for and needed in a father. His last year and a half was spent in a hospital or in at-home hospice care in my home and under my care. Took a long time to get past that pain and it was only 2 years ago. Eventually you’ll see it as another aspect of life that makes you stronger.

TRPChadlite · 2020-12-28T17:21:13+00:00

Look for a good therapist bro<3

__TheDon__ · 2020-12-28T18:10:27+00:00

Sorry for your loss. A father is a boy’s backbone, and without him life is just harder.

Time heals all wounds. It will get better, just be patient and know that this is the circle of life. Grief is normal, and you should definitely not be ashamed for crying.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-12-28T18:15:11+00:00

I feel you man. You're not alone. Your dad sounds like a true legend. Forget about frame right now. You have a right ti feel whatever it is you need to feel and act however you want to act. Nobody cares if you act "beta" or "weak" after your parents die. In a lot of cultures tears in this situation are considered signs of deep respect for the departed.

The only thing harder than laying one's parents to rest, is having to grieve a lost child. There's absolutely no shame in the grief that you're feeling. Youre right ti feel devastated. I know many people who loved their father a lot less than you and wouldn't have sacrificed on his behalf what you sacrificed to provide comfort and service for him. The most important thing is having a family member to talk to, or a good friend. You need someone you can trust, if you feel me. Just say, "look, my dad passed away recently and I may need someone to talk to who is willing to listen, in the future. I'm not really looking for specific advice or any kind of sympathy, I don't need I just need ypu to ask how Im doing and listen. Are you willing to do that for me?"

I'm normally a stoic and no-nonsense person, but my dad had a heart attack last year, I teared up completely in front of my LTR when my mom called with the news. I had to excuse myself. I drove around in my car for what seemed like hours and cried like a baby. Fortunately my dad's OK. He's mostly recovered although his stamina is less than it was.

My paternal grandmother passed suddenly about 10 years ago. She was like a second mother to me. In a lot of ways more maternal than my own mom. It also helped to consider the ways she had positively influenced my life and celebrate the good yimes wed had together, rather than thinking too much of the loss.

Hope some of this helps you, my man.

btc777 · 2020-12-28T08:23:40+00:00

Time is healing all wounds. Keep being true to yourself and better times will come.

plastic-watering-can · 2020-12-28T09:40:17+00:00

RIP.

Title	Dad is dead
Author	Guinnessthemenace2
Upvotes	111
Comments	62
Date	December 28, 2020 6:08 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/klkpik/dad_is_dead/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dad-is-dead.354724 https://theredarchive.com/post/354724

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