Caught her in a lie

SpicyYeetJuice · 2020-03-17T07:28:55+00:00

You watch her location on snap maps? Sounds like an LTR to me. Once they start lying they never stop break up with this LTR.

UEMcGill · 2020-03-17T11:26:06+00:00

Ok, let's start with the obvious. You promoted a previously demoted chick. FWB's do not get demoted only to be promoted back to what others have pointed out is essentially an LTR. This was a valuable effort you could have spent developing new plates.

Second, let's talk about boundaries. There are defined boundaries, ie don't take my protein shake I made just before I go to the gym. And there are implied boundaries, ie don't do things that make you untrustworthy. If a girl is so low value that you have to tell her, "Don't hang out with shitty people" then, she's not a girl worth having a higher position in your commitment, LTR, preferred FWB, etc. She should always be trying to impress you and work for her position. Once you have to start managing her and her location? She gets demoted and your time should be spent elsewhere cultivating a higher value woman.

How to proceed? I haven't confronted her that I know she went there

She gets demoted to plate status, and you need to work on your oneitis.

BPasFuck · 2020-03-17T08:44:20+00:00

It's over already.

Might as well keep her around while you're still banging, and work on lining up the one after that, and the one after that.

Congratulations. Now you know what you got.

MonkMode2019 · 2020-03-17T08:25:13+00:00

Gross. You cannot have an LTR without trust. The fact that you needed to track her. She's a plate and nothing more. Fuck her till she breaks and keep spinning.

Friendly-Casper · 2020-03-17T08:47:08+00:00

Once a woman starts lying, it only progresses towards hamstering. Spare yourself from the unnecessary drama that will ultimately create. Dump her, cut all contact and you don't even have to provide her an explanation as to why. Take care of you, nobody else will.

Batman-von-Pepe · 2020-03-17T08:17:19+00:00

You set boundaries and she broke them. What do you think you should do? Dudes don't remain friends with their EX's unless they are smashing.

She broke boundaries...punish/next
hanging with an EX...never more than a plate.

beingamannotadayjob · 2020-03-17T10:10:06+00:00

This girl has no respect for you.

BusterVadge · 2020-03-17T11:17:42+00:00

She crossed a pretty big boundary. Next.

i-am-the-prize · 2020-03-17T13:17:48+00:00

" How to proceed? I haven't confronted her that I know she went there"

what's there to confront?

you know she's trash/not worthy of an LTR
she knows she ignored/crossed your boundary
any confrontation is purely about your ego and 'gotcha' bullshit with her.
you owe her nothing and she is not due any closure (https://archive.is/ENAtL)

the ONLY thing you should be doing and worrying about is working on your OI/NGAF powers, and that starts with improving everything you can improve about yourself and having abundance. When you are busy, excelling, and drowning in higher quality poon, tracking a boundary crossing hoe will seem a million miles away.

Become the Prize.

PS: you have feelz for her, you're not going to do well with her as a Plate (demotion) with your Frame and Feelz, when it becomes public she's getting her holes filled by her Ex. So cut her loose. Go find new women, like you should have done before.

Tambamwham · 2020-03-17T14:10:27+00:00

There’s no point in talking about it anymore. “She’s not my gf or my wife and if she really wanted to be, she wouldn’t be doing such and such.” Thats all you need to say to yourself. Don’t bring it up again, it’s a dead issue. And so is the topic of commitment. Her whole friend group is ingrained with her ex. That’s a hard no for me.focus on your body, your career, and your social life. Meet other women and just let her be a fuck buddy

xX_bullitt_Xx · 2020-03-17T09:36:38+00:00

Obviously next her

diggyigy · 2020-03-17T14:28:53+00:00

Usually if they start lying about this stuff it's a downward spiral.

I know checking her on maps and worrying where she is will just get worse over time and will stress you out.

I had a similar situation in the past and it was really a constant thought on my mind.

The day after I let her go, I had the best sleep in a while and felt like I removed a big weight from my shoulders.

Listen man, on a LTR the other person should do their fair share and you shouldn't be working for both ( checking maps, constantly putting boundaries etc ). In this case I would keep her as a plate or cut out completely. It will make you feel much better.

Whitefarmer · 2020-03-17T14:52:12+00:00

Your boundaries sound like a joke it’s your fault

alphakari · 2020-03-17T15:21:08+00:00

You want an LTR. That's why you're pressuring her not to go there.

clickherebaby · 2020-03-17T15:27:19+00:00

Cant they see when someone checks their snapmap?

HurricaneHugues · 2020-03-17T22:54:46+00:00

"She's been in pursuit of a LTR since we re initiated contact post summer and has been getting close to it so I laid down boundaries that if it was something she really wanted she shouldn't be hanging out with her friend group at her Ex's place he shouldn't be in her life. "

Here's your problem. Trying to change people. Trying to turn hoes into housewives. It's not YOUR job to raise women who aren't your daughters to be respectable. Your job is simply to FILTER through applicants. You don't change anyone. Let them be who they are. If they fit your criteria, take em in. If they don't, don't take em in. It's that simple. A respectable girl who wanted your commitment would never even be in contact with her ex or be hanging with that social circle in the first place.

What you're doing here is like telling a hooker who's fallen for you that you will only commit if she stops being a hooker.

How to proceed? I haven't confronted her that I know she went there"

Is she your gf? No. So stay the fuck up in YOUR lane, and keep her in HERS. She's bot commitment worthy, and she doesn't know that you know where she was. You have NOTHING to tell her. She will feel NO remorse, nor do you even have ANY right to tell her shit. She's single. You're single. It's that simple. She is free to go wherever the fuck she wants. If you don't like the places she go to, just don't commit to her and just find you some girls who are more in line with your views and morals. Learn how to play the game. Learn how to be playboy. She thinks she's playing you slowly and that she will eventually secure your commitment. What you need to do is play her and pretend like commitment may still be on the line.

So keep doing your thing dude. She's not yours. Start seeing other girls

GloomySpeech · 2020-03-19T03:25:56+00:00

You cannot fix a woman that doesn't respects you. You, do not have to fix her. She, has to give value to you.

You already let her know that she can break your trust. She knows it, and will never un-know it.

When you make a rule, you have to follow the consequences, or you reveal that there are no consequences, so there is no rule, and you deserve no respect.

Why do you want to keep her? What do you want from her? Out of sex, that's what she has to offer: disrespect, breaking your boundaries. Cheating when possible, taking advantage of plausible deniability.

That's the best you can get from her. Do you want that? She doesn't have, what you fantasize to get. What she gave, is what she has to give. That's the reality.

Title	Caught her in a lie
Author	grabthecactus
Upvotes	10
Comments	27
Date	March 17, 2020 7:18 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fk1097/caught_her_in_a_lie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/caught-her-in-a-lie.355904 https://theredarchive.com/post/355904

Comments

"She's been in pursuit of a LTR since we re initiated contact post summer and has been getting close to it so I laid down boundaries that if it was something she really wanted she shouldn't be hanging out with her friend group at her Ex's place he shouldn't be in her life. "

How to proceed? I haven't confronted her that I know she went there"