Disclaimer: I don't know if this fits on RP Theory or Men's Health (mental health), please send me a message if it's not with the right flair.

I see from time to time some posts on asktrp commenting about sadness and asking help to deal with it (sometimes even depression). Most people tell them to go out, work out, lift, etc. These are my own tips, which are more akin to unplugging your mind.

Ever since I noticed we've been being conditioned on how to be sad I realized people (especially men) have been suffering way more than they should. I'm here to share with you my personal findings hoping that they also can be of use to someone else.

Summary: the media has been conditioning people (especially men) to think that they must suffer and long for "the one"/"her"/"mommy's replacement" when they're sad. Evidence? Films, songs, pop culture, almost everything around us when it relates to sadness or loneliness. This conditioning and misrepresentation of sadness became essential to create and cultivate the bluepill/orbiting culture.

Body: very often when I was sad, depressed, tired, without energy, and thinking that a particular woman or women in general weren't worth the investment and putting my energy on, I ended up longing for someone and trying to relive old memories.

It was always like that, ever since I fell in love for the first time, when I was a teen.

However, in the last months I was questioning love. The whole thing portrayed by the media and pop culture is way over idealized and disneyfied than what it really is, and I can only see LOVE in couples from past generations, not my own. I started to think that what my generation is living is a big delusion, a whole hunt for some love that doesn't exist.

Hell, I even like to talk to people about betas and bluepillers who fall in love with their own suffering and idealization over a certain woman. They don't even get to love the woman per se, they love what they feel, what they idealize, and the whole suffering that orbits around that concept.

Clearing my mind on that idea made me see sadness and depression differently than I saw before. I realized that I was conditioned to start thinking about someone everytime I felt tired, said or depressed. Then, the next time I felt like that, I started questioning my thoughts.

"I miss her."

Why do I miss her? What could she do that other girls I have today - and some others I will meet in the future, also - can't do?

"She was nice to me and treated me that way."

I've had some nice moments with other girls also, so no problem. I've seen for myself that also these things are replaceable and anyone can do them.

"But she also liked to talk about this and that."

And...? She's not the only one. Besides, I've just met people who also like to talk about this.

"But she's beautiful!"

As much as any other girl I've been seeing lately.

BAM! Completely replaced.

But I realized I still felt the symptoms of sadness and (the beginning of) depression. Having no will to start new things, no energy, feeling tired and such.

Then I focused on these signs and what my body was telling me. The moment I focused on the numbness, actually let myself feel the tireness and lack of energy, I could feel lots of stress and anxiety slowly go away. I realized I was needing some time for myself, and my body was telling me that.

I realized that, for my own sake, my sadness was a mean for my body to get some time for myself, focus on myself and self-improve. Gather some energy to move on and get new ideas.

I actually believe this is the true sadness and why it exists in our body. It's just that the media and pop culture misrepresented and corrupted it to being romanticized over decades of conditioning.

Perhaps this is even the whole engine of the orbiting beta bluepill culture. In order to not feel sad, orbiters must validate women. Being validated ("Aww, such a nice orbiter you are!", "Awww thanks", "Awww best comments") in return keeps them in orbit. If they're not validated, they must feel sad and suffer/long for the oneitis. If men weren't being educated and conditioned by the media to feel that way, sadness wouldn't get this new meaning and it would be pointless to orbit. With this "new" sadness, orbiting got a mean to be.

Lessons Learned: feel what your body is telling you when you feel sad. It's often that when you feel numb and without energy to start new things, you just need to relax and enjoy it. Let your mind be free of thoughts and experience that moment. You will slowly begin to realize that whether that person is or isn't there, it would hardly change the way you physically feel.

When you are sad and think of "her", you most often think of what she used to do, what you used to talk about or what she looked like. What helped me was realizing that there are lots of people who can do the same stuff, talk about the same topics and even be better looking. There's nothing really unique in it.

Then, after understanding the non-uniqueness of the matter, and realizing that you still feel "physically sad" (eg. tired, without motivation, energy, intiative, etc), enjoy what your body is telling you right now. Really, your body is asking you for a break, and that break can be fucking relaxing.

By doing so you calm down and let go off some anxiety - and probably lowering your cortisol levels (watch Why Leaders Eat Last, it has a very educational approach to cortisol and co.). Anxiety and stress are often linked to be causing depression, so probably by letting them go you will already feel the manly and healthy impulse of doing something new again - which, in my case, was writing this to share my experiences and help fellow redpillers.

In a few topics:

  • sad and thought of her? compare everything you thought it was good about her and compare to other people and what other people could also do.

  • after realizing that she's replaceable, as well as everyone else, focus on the signs your body is telling you.

  • relax and enjoy the sadness, the numbness, the feeling of being tired. Give yourself some time.

  • after letting the anxiety and stress go away, get back to business. You will feel renewed.

Also, for those who both work out/lift and those who don't: walk. A 40min walk everyday can change your fucking life. I can't tell how many times I was just sad, started walking and thirty minutes later I was feeling my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery.