it's my birthday, i'm 29, and i feel incredibly lonely,

RedCBR900 · 2019-11-13T22:14:53+00:00

loneliness is amazing

there is only one seat on race bikes...

alexanderthegroovy · 2019-11-13T22:50:31+00:00

Happy birthday man.

Loneliness can be tough. Acknowledge that you're lonely. Experience the feeling but don't analyze.

The reality is most women will try to keep you as an orbiter. You wanted more and had more balls than 90% of guys out there. This is part of swallowing the red pill. Would you rather be lonely or an orbiter?

The reality is if you're feeling lonely women will not solve your problems. You need companionship. Get a dog, hang out with friends and family, join a social club.

You still have the false belief that being with a women will make you feel whole. I know the feeling, believe me I've been there. Ironically as soon as you feel comfortable being single, that is when you'll start attracting them. They can smell it.

Good luck, and enjoy your birthday.

DangZagnut · 2019-11-13T22:44:37+00:00

Of my many superpowers, loneliness is not something I have an issue with. I tend to prefer my solitude.

I travel a lot; I’ve tried it with friends with guy friends, with individual friends, girls, etc. in the end I’ve just found going myself doesn’t hamper what I want to do, or make me have to do something I don’t want.

Does just going out and people watching not help with loneliness? I get any “social” needs met just going to the market or a bar, but then proximity is enough for me. They get annoying fairly quickly.

What exactly are you lonely about? Most people have a busy social life to avoid having to deal with their own issues. Do you have other issues or stressors you possibly need to resolve?

What exactly would someone around you do that would alleviate your loneliness? In other words, what are you gaining with other people around? What is it you’re hoping for?

liberteus · 2019-11-13T22:15:52+00:00

What's your hobby? What do you do that drives you forward?

Mr_Exotic2 · 2019-11-13T22:36:00+00:00

Bro you have us here, imagine having a beautiful piece of ass by your side which is sucking one of your mates on the side just for the fun of it.

You are free, enjoy it.

Oh, and happy birthday all the best to ya.

Uzair_Chief · 2019-11-14T00:19:12+00:00

If you want to be strong, you have to learn to be alone

[deleted] · 2019-11-13T22:49:03+00:00

Early 30s long-time solitary guy here. Lots of good comments here already saying to “just do something you like”. Allow me to elaborate a bit further. Your life is like valleys and mountains, there being many valleys between many mountains. The valleys are the good times and mountains the hard times. Solitude is best when you’re in the valleys, doing the things you personally enjoy. The mountains are where you must cooperate with others to traverse. This metaphor is a modification of a much older and equally useful bit of advice: “Stop trying to carry the mountains that you simply need to cross, and never ask others to cross (much less lift) a mountain on your behalf.”

frondaro · 2019-11-13T22:22:13+00:00

loneliness...we all feel it from time to time. Go get drunk at a bar, hit on the bartender a bit. When i go out, i usually only try to bag the bartenders. Id give myself a 35% success rate lol. Being a lone wolf is great...but sonetimes ya need a bit of female validation. Im usually alone outside of work, but maybe 2 or 3 times a month ill go be very social and get drunk and try to find a lay. Not the mgtow way i suppose....but female friends are ok if you set boundaries. I got one i go out with, im 28 and shes 53. Nothing sexual...we just go to the bars and have fun.

kafkagoeswest · 2019-11-14T01:34:09+00:00

Happy birthday frondaro. And don't feel alone. I've lived alone for 7 years, after a short marriage didn't work out. I was cheated on because she never really ended things with the last guy she was with before we got together. Had my 30th and 35th birthdays alone. But I didn't feel alone, and I'll tell you why: I've been working on myself every day to become the best version of myself. Each day I become a new me, and then the old me dies. The 2010 version of me is long gone, and the 2020 version is about to be here. So in those moments I'm by myself, instead of thinking I'm isolated or lonely, I realize that there's the present me, the old me, and the future me all in one. Old me is the weaker version of present, and future me is the ideal I'm striving towards, Present me kills off the old me, and figures how to make future me happen sooner. Tonight, tomorrow, and every night, if you do the same- constantly develop yourself, so that you can see a greater change from who you were to are now, then that feeling of loneliness will be replaced with pride. Pride that you're becoming better, that you'll never stop improving, and you'll always live life on your terms.

redshieldheroz · 2019-11-13T23:26:27+00:00

Be stoic and learn the art of being stoic. The grand scale of things is nothing but empty pursuits. The good thing is we will return to nature. Tons of bodies have died in this earthy life. King Solomon, Ganges Khan, Oda Nobunaga, Lubu, Nero. Conquerors and kings. We're are they now? They are perish in time change to dust and nothingness. Along with their ambition with power, greed, lust and blood spilled life.

What are you in this moment is your "thoughts". Bees do their job to collect honey, ants to collect food, cicadas hibernate in 7 years, rise to the surface, make some cicada sounds then die after few days.

In 70 years you'll be dead. Wander in the empty time. The future humans will dwell in the earth and have ambitions just like you. And again they will die 200 years after your death. And so and and so forth. What it is you want to see? If you've known the nature of the world before and in the future.

The answer is your present. Dwell in the here and now. Thats your reality. Enjoy your finite life. Arrange your thoughts be aware of your inner mind.

The people you know will be dead in 70 years. All of you, of us. Will become the dirt.

Krazyrobus · 2019-11-13T22:29:04+00:00

Find something to do. Read a book, play a game, go for a run. First thing that engages your mind adequately, you'll ask who those women you were worrying about are.

_kephri_ · 2019-11-13T23:00:24+00:00

I've never heard of giving an ultimatum of "things have to get sexual". Was that something that was in that relationship prior?

Anyway, loneliness is rough. Have you considered a dog or such?

vinovladykov · 2019-11-13T23:12:57+00:00

Bro, I know it might sound irrational, but buy a motorcycle, you'll never look back I promise.

Where are you located, I'll even lend you mine for a week if you're close.

JMD173 · 2019-11-13T23:17:17+00:00

You might want to get your testosterone levels checked, and or start working to increase them via weightlifting/exercise/diet. There is a strong correlation with low testoetone levels making men feel more "lonely", similar to how women feel with their naturally low levels, which is why they literally need men.

But yeah, it's not easy for everyone. What helped me was realizing most of the need for female validation is bullshit society and family pushed on me. The high and low of a relationship just are not worth it as I get older. With that said, I do feel that loneliness occasionally, but it's much better personally than the emotinal roller coaster and wanted time/energy most relationships bring.

frondaro · 2019-11-14T00:00:16+00:00

Happy birthday man, I’m in a very similar situation as you. I just turned 24 back in October,

I broke up with the “love of my life” a month prior, and I think I may be depressed, but who knows I could just be a huge pussy 😂

It’s going to sound cheesy, but the best way to make yourself feel better is to take care of yourself.

Read books, hit the gym, look at your diet, take up a new hobby, plan for retirement, get into stocks, all of these things make you feel productive and give you a higher quality of life.

Anyways feel free to message me if you want to vent or need someone to bounce some shit Off of, I defiantly know how you feel!

Prototype_Grendel · 2019-11-14T01:19:24+00:00

Happy birthday buddy

gre2704 · 2019-11-14T02:01:26+00:00

I know the feeling brother. Yes, life is harsh, no doubt about it. But we are men. We are the survivors of nature. We can thrive in the harshness of the world through just the knowledge of being able to cope with the world. There's two things you can do in adition to the ones already mentioned. The first thing helped me to get out of depression without therapy or meds: if you feel lonely, don't just give into it but analyse it, put your logic to work. What are the exact reasons you feel bad about being lonely? What underlying concepts inform that feeling? Are those concepts valid?

By thinking about that your brain needs to allocate more capacity to its logical facilities and drain power from the emotional ones. Plus as a bonus yo learn a ton about yourself and you'll find some deep truths.

The second thing you can do is to start remembering every thing bad you experienced with women and read all the awalt stories here as soon as you feel lonely. That way you condition your brain to associate the disgust you feel with those stories with the feeling of lonelyness. And since the brain wants to avoid feeling disgusted, it will stop bringing up that feeling.

Happy birthday.

lion91921 · 2019-11-14T06:21:50+00:00

What a clown. You don't just expect a women just to give you sex just cause you are a man

Origami84 · 2019-11-14T08:10:54+00:00

If it is your birthday, you should be receiving greetings from your friends and family. What happened to all them?

EdwardSandchest · 2019-11-13T22:17:13+00:00

Telling the truth doesnt work, learn to lie better. Go see a pro, it'll clear your head & allow you to work on things.

jkballzer · 2019-11-13T22:21:16+00:00

For myself I enjoy solitude but people are different.

For example last weekend Saturday and Sunday I only left the house once to get groceries.

I didn’t hangout with anyone or talk to anyone on the phone, and my uncle who rents a room from me wasn’t there.

I hung out with my dogs, worked out Sunday, took all 3 dogs on bike rides and walks, and slept a lot. Also got some chores done. It was glorious. But after my last breakup I was miserable, and was desperate to spend time with people. So it took a while to get back to being comfortable alone.

Also it helps to have a code, mission, and goals. When your mind is occupied on what you want to accomplish for your life, it’s hard to be lonely.

I think as primates we need some social interaction, and I get plenty at work I work in sales and have no problem talking all day long to established clients and making cold calls in new clients.

I think what a lot of us call loneliness is a socially constructed idea and a way to shame men and control people into thinking they need a partner.

Sandman has a pretty good youtube video about loneliness.

Good luck man you’ll be fine after a while.

BudSpencer123 · 2019-11-13T22:25:34+00:00

there will come a day when you realize that your birthday, christmas, silvester or whatever is a day like any other day. its just the indoctrination of our society who lets you struggle and the code they installed in you over the years.come to peace with yourself and look forward on many pathes that you could walk.do you have a mother? father? brother or sister? theres nothing wrong to reach out for an open ear. loneliness is a gift and a curse at the same time. but your mind is deciding witch one it is.

happy birthday

xre-awakenedx · 2019-11-13T23:11:03+00:00

Loneliness is part of the journey. The isolation can be intense but after a while it becomes a way of being. I suggest that you immerse yourself in what you love to do. It's what makes life worth living. Stay strong, brother and Happy Birthday!

Secretsquirrel151 · 2019-11-13T23:48:19+00:00

Happy Birthday, dude

I feel like I must do the duty of informing you, and anyone else reading my advice, that I am not fully mgtow. However, you aren't fully mgtow either, from what I gather from your post - please correct me if I'm wrong. But perhaps I'm mistaken and being interested with women doesn't necessarily disqualify you from being mgtow? I know some people recommend one night stands and prostitutes so perhaps that implies that that is not the case. With that being said:

i took the advice and just told some girls that if they want to be in my life then things would have to get sexual and they left,

I think your strategy of honesty should depend on what you're looking for; I think honesty is key in relationships and you should let females know, by your actions and words what you tolerate and what you don't. Imo, your words don't necessarily have to be abrasive, but they should definitely be stated in a way as to not be able to be misconstrued due to being passive/coy. However, if you're just looking to fuck and bounce, I don't see the harm in compromising your character in order to achieve your goal. I'd strongly recommend listening to Patrice O'Neal and his radio show "The Black Phillip Show", if you haven't already.

and that's fine, it's their choice, as is mine, but what gets me is the incredible loneliness that comes with standing up for yourself and your principles,

Standing up for yourself has consequences; if you stand up to a bully, you stand a chance of getting your ass beat. It is up to the individual to confront fear and stand up for themselves. Standing by your ideals in the face of being judged by women, and potentially losing pussy, is the beating in this case. But even though you're hurt, stand tall with your head up high that you didn't fold under pressure, especially considering how tempting the "reward" is. You are fighting for what you believe is right and I solute you for that (for whatever the fuck that is worth).

As I stated above, I'm not an mgtow so I cannot speak to what that loneliness is like. However, in regards to feeling lonely, from my experience with the loneliness that I have encountered, hobbies definitely help. So does exercising. And if you can find a hobby that involves both, such as brazilian jiu-jitsu (which I would highly recommend you try for at least a month - it is highly addictive and rewarding), kickboxing, wrestling, judo, etc., you're killing two birds with one stone. Regardless of whether or not you find a hobby that allows yourself some exercise, make sure you supplement your free time with exercise.

Keep your head up, and pm me if you ever need to talk (and I mean that),

- Some random fuck

frondaro · 2019-11-14T00:34:57+00:00

Don't you have any male friends in your life?

Wardedbilledanteater · 2019-11-14T00:43:44+00:00

Most if not all women hate being alone. They need a human there. That is red flag. That means this woman can’t stand herself. A healthy person doesn’t mind being alone. I would get a few pets. Watch sports. Have fun.

Lambo_Moonski · 2019-11-14T01:22:19+00:00

It passes, get a dog

ValhallaBoundBoy · 2019-11-14T01:23:39+00:00

no need to get that dramatic man, telling girls you want sex isn't an alpha move, sticking to your guns maybe but...

happy birthday regardless. You're going your own way, finding yourself, and it gets lonely out there.

Flat4DIT · 2019-11-14T01:28:48+00:00

Set goals.

Achieve them.

You won't have time for loneliness.

Can you do 25 pull-ups? If not, how about becoming able to do that?

horse3y3s · 2019-11-14T01:47:16+00:00

Hey first off, happy birthday man! I wish you health and luck

I believe that you partly feel this way because you hold up with old fantasies/values. Like, if it was another day you would be alone, but it wouldnt be so lonely. I may be wrong... But I urge you to ask yourself if it was any other day, would you feel fine?

Gibits · 2019-11-14T01:50:31+00:00

You’re lonely because you don’t have a wife and kids siphoning your free time. You don’t have a boss telling you to come in on the weekend because it’s crunch time. You aren’t getting nurses calling you every 3 hours about orders.

Being alone is a luxury! I wish the world would fuck off and let me play my video games in peace.

rosspghettod · 2019-11-14T01:57:34+00:00

I finally gave my cat to my parents because I wasn’t home enough to keep it stimulated and happy. I’m finally completely alone at home.

It’s addicting. It’s so damn nice.

John_M128 · 2019-11-14T02:03:20+00:00

"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."

-Robin Williams

You gotta realize that there is a big difference between loneliness and solitude. It is great to enjoy the company of people you enjoy being around, but you should also be able to enjoy the peace of mind that solitude brings. There is no substitute for it.

Having good friends you spend time with often is what provides a good balance between being social and being alone at peace.

AnonDeity · 2019-11-14T02:37:45+00:00

You think if you get a wife your not going to be lonely? Have you ever dated a women? As everyone ages they have fewer and fewer friends. Cause nobody wants to go out and do things. But its 2019 want to make friends? I'll teach you how.

Do you play video games? Which video games do you play? Oh you play XYZ game? Okay check on twitch and see if you like any streamers streaming it. Talk to people on twitch add them play the game talk to others in other games. Always stay busy always doing something loneliness isn't just an issue of nobody around to talk to its also the fact that you have nothing to actually do... MGTOW is about improving your life for the better instead of saying I'm lonely realize this hey I got some free time on my hands what do I want to do? Do I want to make more money? Do I want to work out and get into good shape? Do I want to read a good book? Do I want to play the newest Pokemon game sword and shield? What movies are out right now? Maybe ask a coworker or if in college ask a friend if they want to go to the movies? They say no? Ask a cousin or a relative... You need to find something to do.

I personally work a 9-5 Mon-Fri

I come home play runescape watch youtube videos hang out with friends go on twitch

Probably going to be playing pokemon sword and shield while afking xp on runescape shiny hunting with friends eating good ass food I order out....

But seriously your problem is you need to find something that you enjoy and have fun with.

sweetFLUFFYpanda · 2019-11-14T05:07:33+00:00

happybirthday dude!! i know loneliness sucks but once you realize how crazy bitches are out there you will appreaciate the loneliness , my advice be with your parents for sometime ask about theier health talk with them as much as you can . ask them how they were when they were kids , be engagning with your parents if you need anything or anyone to talk iam always there , message me anytime

EmptySpace1111 · 2019-11-14T05:19:02+00:00

You get to be behind the steering wheel and call the shots. All day every day. Buckle up!

1stMembaOfTheDKCrew · 2019-11-14T07:52:17+00:00

friendless, sexless, redditor, im afraid its the true alpha life for you

hrm0894 · 2019-11-14T09:37:51+00:00

It seems you don't love yourself enough. Listen, there is something special about your personality, you just need to discover what that is and use it to your advantage. You could be funny, smart, creative, etc. You just need to figure out what it is.

And remember, I'd rather be single and wish I were in a relationship, than to be in a relationship and wish I were single.

tw-1234a · 2019-11-14T15:17:31+00:00

You are not alone. We are there with you, you just can't see us.

Title	it's my birthday, i'm 29, and i feel incredibly lonely,
Author	frondaro
Upvotes	36
Comments	100
Date	November 13, 2019 10:13 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/dvzcgi/its_my_birthday_im_29_and_i_feel_incredibly_lonely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/its-my-birthday-im-29-and-i-feel-incredibly-lonely.388716 https://theredarchive.com/post/388716

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