Am I a bad person for not wanting to socialize with coworkers outside of work hours?

ParalyticPoison · 2019-11-07T23:15:53+00:00

No, work is for the pay-check, not to make friends if you don't want to.

ratchet_hd · 2019-11-07T23:33:56+00:00

Self employed; hate my boss and my coworkers can fuck off

DangZagnut · 2019-11-07T23:41:03+00:00

I never included coworkers in my friend groups. So other than a time I worked at a start up and the CEO would take everyone out to a bar and everyone drank unlimited quantities and qualities of booze, I never hung out with those people.

Coworkers, friends, family, and relationships, are four core groups that never come together. Life is far easier separating all those people into their respective buckets.

Krazyrobus · 2019-11-07T23:17:17+00:00

OF course not, you are paid to work, not socialize. Unless you are earning overtime, you are not obligated to do shit outside your work hours.

GrisBosque · 2019-11-07T23:51:15+00:00

I'd avoid it. Co workers for the most part are back stabbers of opportunity and can turn on you at any time for anything.

I'd just say I wasnt feeling too social these days, just wanna do my job well, and go home and relax.

You dont have to make a big issue out of anything in life.

Really, the best you can do in life is learn to appreciate the simplest things. A decent meal, tranquility, or a hobby etc.

"Wanting something for yourself is the worst curse." (Tao)

Mecha_Hobbit · 2019-11-07T23:50:03+00:00

1) they're off the clock 2) alcohol.

Too much risk. Unless you're trying or about to make partner, pass.

Darkmaster85845 · 2019-11-07T23:21:14+00:00

Right on bro. Fuck them. Say you have an appointment with X and let them rot.

blowmeuptom88 · 2019-11-07T23:41:30+00:00

[deleted]

rabbit8lol · 2019-11-08T00:16:40+00:00

Don't shit where you eat.

[deleted] · 2019-11-08T03:04:42+00:00

You are better off. For years, I went out with everyone. Got to know people. You're playing by men's rules, thinking that bro-ing down with people builds bonds. It doesn't. They look at you in regards to your gossip-worthy value. Everything you say is a bullet they use as ammo against you in conversation when you're not around.

I started a new job a few months ago. I work with all women. I make it a point to tell them very little about my personal life. Men did not teach me to keep my guard up, women did. I learned from a fucking cornucopia of past mistakes and trips to HR.

Everything you're thinking/doing is right.

walkersm · 2019-11-08T04:51:37+00:00

Are you trying to move up in this organization? Being seen as not being part of the "team" can be damaging for a career. There are some strategies you can do like just making an appearance for 10 minutes then excusing yourself for an existing "appointment" you have that you forgot about.

But if it is just a nothing job with no future do not bother making an effort.

horse3y3s · 2019-11-07T23:36:45+00:00

They are testing out to see if they can control you. Because what are you missing? Couple drinks, maybe some food and in your own words " constant banter for 2-4 hours "

Get the hell out, life is short

RedCBR900 · 2019-11-08T03:07:38+00:00

" we were sitting in a room together and one girl was asked if she had a boyfriend "

this is unprofessional.It's not high school.

RadicalAsceticMonk · 2019-11-08T03:39:46+00:00

[deleted]

roflcopt0rz_returns · 2019-11-08T08:33:16+00:00

If it's women it's EXTREMELY dangerous due to false accusations. Don't talk bad about them (at least to their face or anyone they may know) and just ghost in plain sight. They'll talk shit about you for not going to these events, but as long as you're a productive worker and you don't cause any trouble during work hours you should be able to avoid their wrath.

But even with male coworkers, many of them are cucks and backstabbers, so always tread carefully, especially if alcohol is involved.

jgs2000 · 2019-11-08T00:36:56+00:00

If you work with mostly girls it's ok to not hang out with them. Usually they mostly want to just hang out with the other girls in the office anyway unless you're the top looking guy in the office. My office has mostly been girls for years so I usually only go to our annual holiday party and that's about it for social stuff. But I receive good performance reviews so it's not an issue that I don't hang out with other people in the office.

CaptainChrom2000 · 2019-11-08T00:57:44+00:00

Fuck this shit. Doing thing you don't want to is bullshit. When I was young I did this shit but not anymore (I'm 18). Why tf would I waste my time to do boring shit which annoys me? For other people? No way. I am no such person. If it's not important I don't go. Even for my best friend I wouldn't do such shit. Once he has some allergic reaction to some animal and wanted me to go to the hospital with him. I too him no. I hate hospitals, really don't like the athmosphere there. I told him right from the start and he kept saying no you go bla bla. I kept my word and didn't go. Why? It's useless. I am not on this planet to please other people. Their life their responsibility. You are only responsible for your own life. If it is something important that's a different story. The same friend asked me to help completely renovate his room. Also don't like most of the work (especially the wall painting) but hey it's something important. I helped him on 3 consecutive days when tho I didn't like most of the work. But it was important and the music and company made it a lot better. Just stand your ground. Just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean you are this or that. And if someone things whatever about you don't give a fuck. Would you rather let these broad from your work think your a dick or whatever or go to some bullshit event you don't want to go to? And then next week they will invite you to some other bullshit. It will go on and on. When ever someone says you are egoistic tell them "I am entitled to beeing egoistic. Your life your responsibilities, my life my responsibilities. I am not responsible for making you happy." And go. Don't let anyone push you around or shame you. If someone calls you and egoist or an asshole be proud. Most of the people will respect you more if you say no and stand your ground.

stephker3914 · 2019-11-08T02:23:38+00:00

I wouldn't say you're a bad person.

Friendly-Casper · 2019-11-08T03:28:06+00:00

In the words of Admiral Ackbar, "It's a trap!"

HotAndColdSlaw · 2019-11-08T14:37:05+00:00

While I do not think you should go, I do think that you should respond to the invitation. Just tell them that you cannot make it. If they want a reason, tell them that you have previous plans. If they demand to know what the plans are tell them that you have to shampoo your hair.

sextus_sigma · 2019-11-07T23:20:07+00:00

Hell no.

cyanndogg1987 · 2019-11-08T01:22:44+00:00

Wow I guess I'm the oddball in this group two of my best friends(male) I have in my life I have meet as coworkers at work, but I worked retail all my life so I guess it's a grow closer for survival instinct plus it's good after getting shit on by Karen's and other genuine assholes. My way of thinking find someone you can trust before letting them know your true self but it most settings friends with coworkers could be an issue. But I can attest except in one instance sleeping with a coworker is literally the worst thing you can do and 9 out of 10 times it ends up with Pregnancy it's suck for the young blue pills who fall into that trap. Also learned alot about humanity working in retail I bet there's a lot of red pills people in our ranks.

OriginalGreedy · 2019-11-08T02:24:50+00:00

tldr, only need the title, the circumstances dont matter.

No.

RedCBR900 · 2019-11-08T03:06:09+00:00

it's ok to be a bad person.

RedCBR900 · 2019-11-08T03:09:50+00:00

the biggest problem in this imo is the misandrist coworkers.They have to stfu or they need to be brought before the almighty HR Oracle

ValhallaBoundBoy · 2019-11-08T03:29:21+00:00

Frankly, you shouldn't feel bad for not giving up your time because other people want it. You aren't being paid, it's not some mandatory work event, its not even rude if you like them, it is your time and you should spend it your way, even if its just going home.

rp_whybother · 2019-11-08T03:45:41+00:00

Just GYOW!

Kiwishea · 2019-11-08T04:13:52+00:00

Who gives a shit? Jesus Christ it sounds like you're putting more thought into then they are. Wanna go home? Okay fine, then go home and they'll go out and everyone has a good time. I highly doubt you're the king of the party.

MrTT3 · 2019-11-08T04:51:24+00:00

i think you should have just response saying you don't go. It common courtesy

Zilo88 · 2019-11-08T05:00:09+00:00

It's alright to have boundaries.

Trapperr_AO · 2019-11-08T07:16:02+00:00

I do nothing with anyone from work, despite being here 18 years. It is my way.

[deleted] · 2019-11-08T09:07:01+00:00

You're perfectly in the right dude, just be professional, avoid contact with them as best as you can in case they throw false accusations your way, and do what you want to do. And when you'll get tired of their bullshit, leave the company and find another one with less or no women.

HofD7 · 2019-11-08T09:20:49+00:00

lol I lost a job because I didn't went to a restaurent with the little female manager and the team of blue pillz, well, eliminate the guy who don't obey

WanderlustYouth · 2019-11-08T12:34:08+00:00

No its work, not a playground. Also the people at work aren't you friends, they will be friendly maybe, but as should anything happen that will cause you to lose your job, they won't do anything to try and stop it(for fear they might get caught in the backlash) and they won't associate with you(the "friendship" is only based on the convenience of being forced in the same area for about 8 hours a day)

RudiMcBallsweat · 2019-11-08T13:43:59+00:00

I nerver wanted to sozialise with these subhumans at work. Id like to choose my friends cery carefully

DekkerDavez · 2019-11-08T14:10:06+00:00

Why you would be? I do the same. I even told them they're my colleagues, not friends. It's probably rude but also an ultimate truth.

kaydawg23 · 2019-11-08T14:19:04+00:00

Your employment is your livelihood and the reason for your stability financially, you were hired to do a job and from the looks of it you do it and I'd like to believe you do it well now these women are nothing but distractions; they want your attention, they want your validation and they want the convenience of having you around to playfully flirt, string along and entertain whilst they do everything but their jobs.

What you could do is every time you see yourself becoming more and more tempted to do things that you do not want to or add no benefit just have a look through the sub, I screenshot all insight I find relevant and I read it in my own time because it rebukes desires and keeps me aware of what I need to avoid to stay focused on myself so you can maybe look at doing it for you.

Bottom line here is that all they want from you is your time and energy, they feel entitled to it but just because they feel so doesn't mean you must succumb to it, you're greater than your impulses and restraint is a great skill so my advice stay distant and adopt an indifference to them because they simply don't matter. AWALT

veasel79 · 2019-11-08T14:56:31+00:00

Nope, shifts over I don’t know any of those assholes

antifeminist3 · 2019-11-08T15:29:28+00:00

"I think maybe I could have handled this situation better."

The women are misandrist, they try and shame you into going (which means they already realized you didn't want to go), and you are criticizing yourself?

You remained silent. Did you show you were irritated? If you did then this might make some people do it more. If you were not irritated/didn't show it they would likely eventually back off after multiple unsuccessful attempts in the future. In the unlikely event that HR 'suggested' you go, I would state exactly why--"the women are misandrist and I do not want to associate with toxic people"

sandy_orafices · 2019-11-08T16:52:16+00:00

No. Absolutely nothing good comes out of socializing with coworkers. And if alcohol is involved you better believe that given enough time, someone will get fired for doing something when they were drunk with co workers.

epicness9000000 · 2019-11-08T22:50:59+00:00

the question is whether or not its worth it to stay at home if the next day at work people think you’re an asshole. is the potential fun of doing whatever you want for 2-4 hours worth it if later people try to talk to you? you decide. but whatever you choose, you’re definitely not a bad person.

AnonDeity · 2019-11-09T04:36:05+00:00

I also have this issue which is eating with my coworkers and dumbass pot lucks. I fucking don't want to attend and I really want to get into intermittent fasting. Also start a really clean diet. Maybe you can follow suit. Tell them you eat very clean are doing intermittent fasting and work out or have someone to pick up after work. I tell my coworkers I have to pick up my mom after work.

My girl coworker was talking about how she's had her engagement ring picked out since middle school she said its 29k and some other bitch said 41k and that she'd wait for another year to do the marriage for him to save up. Its funny they want same pay and free shit.

Economics is the study of scarcity and everyone has unlimited wants and desires that can never be met.

Valk_Eir · 2019-11-09T10:02:29+00:00

Yeah, if these co-workers aren't your friends that you would normally chat or hang out with after work, don't be pressured to hang out with them after work. If you have no desire to be anything more than co-workers, which is absolutely fine, I don't think there's a problem.

You do you man. Your mental health is more important than than trying to build useless relationships to try and conform. Don't get me wrong; sometimes, hanging out with co-workers can be fine and useful. But it all depends on on what you want out of it. You want nothing to do with it? Great, no need to please them.

Title	Am I a bad person for not wanting to socialize with coworkers outside of work hours?
Author	blowmeuptom88
Upvotes	120
Comments	63
Date	November 7, 2019 11:14 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/dt66kk/am_i_a_bad_person_for_not_wanting_to_socialize/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/am-i-a-bad-person-for-not-wanting-to-socialize.389753 https://theredarchive.com/post/389753

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