I’m lost and lonely.

Brad-Chadblood · 2019-01-02T00:27:16+00:00

[deleted]

underrated_kawasaki · 2019-01-02T00:38:51+00:00

You don’t actually want a gf and validation, you only THINK you do because society has conditioned you to think that way, that you need a woman in your life to be happy. What you REALLY want is a passion in your life that constantly drives you to seek happiness. The reason you think you want a gf is because you lack a specific purpose in life and you think having a gf is what is gonna fill that void.

Many men live boring and mundane lives, slaving away at their 9-5’s all week just barely getting by, with nothing to look forward to but a “good woman” waiting for them at home and a cold beer to drink while they’re on the couch watching TV... Men with true goals and ambitions don’t HAVE time to be wasting their lives away like that. They’re focused on making REAL money and to become their own boss so that they can live the good life where they’re free to do whatever they want and buy whatever they want to buy.

You don’t have to be a successful businessman or entrepreneur if you don’t want to, you could simply just work a career that pays you decent enough but is a career you LOVE to do. You could pursue a specific hobby like motorcycling, kayaking, hang gliding, surfing, mountain biking, hiking, rock climbing, camping, track racing, traveling, private piloting, etc etc.

What you REALLY want in life is something to fill the void of your mundane, mediocre existence. Once you find that, you’ll realize having a woman in your life is nothing but a waste and a hinderance on achieving your real dreams. Women are just the go to void filler because society has dictated basic guys should just keep living their basic lives with women and be content with just settling for that, nothing more.

Brad-Chadblood · 2019-01-02T00:24:27+00:00

Sounds rough but you have something that someone 20 years ago in your position wouldn’t: access to the full sum of human knowledge.

Give us some more to work with. What’s going right? Got a job? Education? Going to school? What’re you working with here?

891986zar · 2019-01-02T00:35:29+00:00

The good part about hitting tock bottom is the fact that things can only get better.

Iakhovass · 2019-01-02T02:48:41+00:00

I never went to university and after working for my parents for 6 years was unemployed with few marketable skills at about 24. I took my grandfathers advice and took an entry level job at a big multi-national. Worked better and harder than others in the same position and got promoted to head office in 18 months. Did the same and got another promotion a year later to a national role and went from there. Try not to end up in a small business with nowhere to go. All you need is opportunity for growth. The rest is up to you.

Brad-Chadblood · 2019-01-02T04:03:14+00:00

[deleted]

801735 · 2019-01-02T00:22:05+00:00

I just want it to get better.

Won't happen on its own. Will require your input. One step at a time, one day at a time, one challenge at a time,...

Yup, it does sound depressing, but then again, very positive, too, you sound like you have a lot of options for improvement. Any move "up the ladder back towards life", however small, sounds like a big step (in a good way).

derFsivaD · 2019-01-02T04:04:40+00:00

Personally, I feel you are forgetting the one person that cares about you.

You.

If you didn't care about you, you would allow the pain and depression to take over, you might even contemplate suicide. But because you have stated that you are NOT suicidal, that you are just tired of the shit, that proves you care. Maybe some people might say you care too much. Too much or too little, you care, and that's where it starts.

I've been there. It's been 5 years now, but I was basically in the same situation. I was homeless, living in my car, still trying to work and trying to make things better. It's not much better now, but it is better, at least by degrees. It's been a crappy year, but things are getting better r, slowly but surely.

And here is another thing to think about. You are basically at rock bottom. The only place to go now..... Is up!

Stay strong. Stay focused. Stay true to you. Make your plans, your decisions, follow through. Save up. Move into an extended stay facility, or do some couch hopping with good friends or those you can trust.

Don't allow anyone else to take away your dreams; save, strive, work toward your goals. Many times, these kinds of situations will steel a person's resolve. Let it hone your focus, let it strengthen you.

You can do this. You care, and because you care... Because you care about YOU, you can do it. You are the only person you have to answer to. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve better. Never underestimate yourself.

Be yourself. Do your own thing. Go your own way.

HoboSage · 2019-01-02T02:32:17+00:00

How bad do you want your life to get better? Bad enough to work your ass off working 2 jobs until you get enough savings to kick start a new life for yourself? Theres 2 choices you have, 2 paths to take, you can either wallow in self-pity and end up killing yourself or you can work your ass to the bone to make something greater for yourself.

Get your head straight, set a goal and work your ass off to achieve it. Even if you have to work two jobs scooping shit you need to do it. I gurantee you every difficulty you face with determination will become a stepping stone that will raise you to greater accomplishments and happiness.

You can do this. I was in your exact shoes 10 years ago. Im telling you theres a light at the end of the tunnel as long as you're willing to work for it.

You aren't defeated until you're dead.

SFM_2046 · 2019-01-02T01:09:54+00:00

patience and forward motion/mental progress towards goals that benefit you...main goal is you.....keep moving

CrackingYs · 2019-01-02T02:05:50+00:00

Fortunes can change fast by making the right moves. As poker players say, all you need is a chip and a chair.

n0vvv · 2019-01-02T03:57:42+00:00

1 get a job and secure a safe, modest life for yourself. 2 have you thought about charity work? I helped out in a homeless shelter when I was a student, a really good experience.

JFL211 · 2019-01-02T12:14:29+00:00

My mother never hugged me as a kid. My dad didn't love me enough to stay. And my 3 sisters have always thought "something was wrong with me" because I had a temporary weird tick of shaking my head when I was 6 years old.

To this day, 30 years old, and I don't speak with my family. I have no friends either as all of them have betrayed me or cut me out because I am socially awkward due to my lack of confidence.

But I look on the bright side - this kind of life has made me aware of society as a whole. It has saved me from marriage or desperately needing approval from a woman. The only approval I need is from my own self.

warhammer910 · 2019-01-02T00:23:57+00:00

Everyone matters and everyone has value. You are clearly going through a shot time right now but it will get better if you want it. Look for the opportunities, see the open doors when they present themselves. Don't be afraid to take risks and follow your gut. Things can and will get better, you just have to fight for it. Hang in there brother. You will find meaning for yourself.

Carps12432 · 2019-01-02T01:24:00+00:00

Man. I was in a similar position at the beginning of the year. It is of vital importance that you don't feel sorry for yourself and treat this like a world championship fight. This experience could possibly make you or break you. Let it be the former.

Nobody cares. Sonny from A Bronx Tale nailed it. You have to understand that you are all you have and if you want things to improve, you're going to need to work harder than you ever have. Don't drink, don't do any kind of drugs or stimulants, and let the dust settle.

The difference between where I was at the beginning of the year and where I am now is like comparing the lives of two different people. You can do this because you have to. Be a man, slap yourself across the face, and make it your goal to better yourself.

I did it. I'm rooting for you, dude.

klim_milk · 2019-01-02T05:38:06+00:00

We're here for you bro. Make a list of ambitions. Make a list of hobbies. You don't have to be on the hook for any of it, but it helps focus you.

RandomKonong · 2019-01-02T02:39:04+00:00

I guess it's time to start from scratch :(

throw_7 · 2019-01-02T06:11:59+00:00

I just want to feel like I matter to someone.

Did your parents disown you? If not, I think that's a great place to start. I sent my parents a card this Christmas telling them that I'm grateful for all the love they've given me. It's always ok to ask family for help if you need it.

robowriter · 2019-01-02T08:24:15+00:00

Women can go from guy-to-guy leech off people, move on to the next one their entire lives. You can't do that you have to find your own way and it's not easy. It wasn't for me.

You got to find a career or trade that gives you an influx of income, if you haven't done so already. Young guys can go a lot of ways, I suggest the trades because collwege is crazy and expensive. Also, if your having trouble affording housing try a trailer, solar panels, that whole house on wheels thing.

When you can learn how to take care of yourself financially all else falls into place. If you don't, it won't.

bouldurer · 2019-01-02T13:01:55+00:00

I was exactly in your spot. It was Jan 1st, 2016, and I was crying to myself in my room because I just celebrated new years by myself. No friends, no girlfriend, nothing.

I cried and I cried and I let it all out. After that, I made it my fucking mission to find a purpose in life and get my shit together. I never wanted to be in such a spot ever again.

Three years later, I'm having the time of my life. Use these raw emotions and channel them towards improving yourself.

Palpatine: "Use that anger, let it flow through you."

samsoldit · 2019-01-02T13:27:18+00:00

If it helps you at all, I live in my vehicle and have been disabled and bedridden for 38 months. Lost everything and everyone. Not giving up though

LiveTheTruth321 · 2019-01-02T00:33:33+00:00

Where are you located? Maybe there are men's shelters in your area or some place where you can get assistance.

Mchooofer · 2019-01-02T07:04:20+00:00

First and only rule. Don't be hard on yourself. Its totally okay man. Take the opportunity to learn more about pain and silence.

[deleted] · 2019-01-02T10:50:21+00:00

This is what this sub is for.

We care buddy. No better place to build a foundation than rock bottom.

Sandbagicus · 2019-01-02T06:38:20+00:00

find a job and get your own place, some 1 BR apmnt or something. Report back for further instructions. good luck, soldier.

RoxgorTheDestroyer · 2019-01-02T08:11:37+00:00

You are in a very vulnerable state right now. I know, “you don’t say”, but don’t get taken advantage of by a woman.

Just focus on yourself, for yourself.

MGTOWacct · 2019-01-02T09:33:02+00:00

Get dirty. Do jobs noone wants to do because of the filth. You'll keep away the other side. Probably make some good money down the road by becoming some sort of tradesman. Get those jobs before third world imports take them for less $$.

Best_coder_NA · 2019-01-02T12:10:53+00:00

One day at a time bro, you got this

fugitived · 2019-01-02T12:18:51+00:00

Happy to read that you feel better!

Go strong brother!

Best of luck!

dot2375 · 2019-01-02T12:39:13+00:00

Hang in there man, life is just a series of ups and downs.. just focus on a specific task then do it. Make a list and follow through

TruthSeekingPerson · 2019-01-02T05:39:50+00:00

Hang in there. Most of us are one bad break from being where you are.

MGTOW-Away · 2019-01-02T07:59:37+00:00

The best thing to do is keep moving forward. Sometimes not letting yourself think by focusing and giving yourself a goal and just DOING IT are the best way to move forward. Whether it be working out or educating yourself via the internet.

There are plenty of resources to do this depending on where you are, some should be free like library's but the best thing is not stopping work on a goal and set another when you achieve it.

If your living in your car and it's in your budget get a gym membership some places cost as little as 10$ (Canada) a month and you can shower there if you need to just get back on your feet.

Focus on yourself, even getting on a treadmill every day will help your mood.

PokeMaster420 · 2019-01-02T11:28:43+00:00

Death really isn't that bad if you think about it. It's kind of like being born except the opposite. It'll feel just like the other billions of years before you were born.

greywolf1968 · 2019-01-04T11:40:00+00:00

Sorry to hear of your troubles OP. If I may add to the advice. If you have a job , try and do some overtime so you can earn some extra money. If you don't have a job , try signing up with an employment agency and you can at least get some money. If you have one job which you hate , either get a second job which you might enjoy or start looking for a better job.Getting busy and keeping busy will help take your mind off your problems. Do you have a trade and if not think about which trade you would like to get into. Secondly , start to think about your diet and fitness. Reduce your carbs and take more exercise. You don't have to join a gym you can always go for a run or do push ups.Sitting around worrying will not help you, you have to take action. I'm not being self righteous because I too have been at a low ebb after my brother's suicide. But I fought back and started to go my own way and that was 15 years ago, long before I had heard of mgtow.Back then mgtow didn't exist so I was very much on my own. Now you have access to a worldwide network of men who have your back even if it is only in spirit. Good luck and God bless !!

Title	I’m lost and lonely.
Author	Brad-Chadblood
Upvotes	157
Comments	66
Date	January 2, 2019 12:16 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/abnqsk/im_lost_and_lonely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/im-lost-and-lonely.432317 https://theredarchive.com/post/432317

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