Advice on LTR with multi-alpha widow

rickaboy · 2013-05-16T11:27:32+00:00

Hey man. I'm 28, was dating a girl for 6 months. I don't ask about a girls history, cos I don't wanna know.. But she insisted on telling me about stuff .. Such as her flings while travelling alone, or her ex-pro basketball playing ex-bf who dumped her for being too fat.

Anyway she was a great girl and all .. But for me I decided it was too much. I re-located to another city and am working on improving Life in areas that others have suggested. Since, I've banged a 7 and spinning 2 plates at the mo. ... To me it's more important to pursue my life then settle for that.. It's not what I want.

Dunno if my experience helps you, but I'm very glad I moved on.. Even though it wasn't easy.

2013-05-16T12:16:58+00:00

RUN FUCKER RUN

Raw_God · 2013-05-16T11:05:23+00:00

I would start by recognizing that there isn't something wrong with you for feeling uncomfortable with her sexual past. Don't feel ashamed. As a man, it's natural to be angry that your potential wife has had numerous sexual partners, many of them "alphas" (top 20% of physical/social attractiveness).

You've been sold a script that you have to accept this, and provide for a woman like her when her sexual market value starts to decline and she looks for a safe provider for her children. You spent your 20s learning how to be a good provider, while she surfed her numerous sexual options, and the aforementioned high-testosterone males enjoyed her young body before moving on.

You're just now reaching the top years of your sexual market value potential, and they will last for another 15 years or longer. Don't waste them on this woman. She's your own age, right? You should be enjoying the company of younger women. Go to other countries right now and you can get an 18-20 year old girlfriend, sweet, feminine and with a low partner count. Or stay in the tough market of the US, spend a couple of years reaching your potential as a man - gym, hobbies, career - and in your thirties you will still have your pick of women the same age or younger as the woman you are currently with.

So what I'm saying is, take the Red Pill, work on yourself and reap the benefits for decades to come. There is nothing special about that particular woman, believe me.

30303030303030 · 2013-05-16T11:38:35+00:00

I'm actually not as concerned with her cheating. I know she would never do that.

You are naive, she had 20-30 different partners (so she says...) by 29 and now she will settle for one man, she's no longer promiscuous, your dick took that out of her? Funny. Nice nerdy guy when she just arrived at the wall. It so never happens, at all.

You clearly care more than she is and that's bad cause she has plenty of alphas in her past to look back to.

Anyway, I'm no longer interested in ltr's and I was no good in them as well so have some links, that's all I can contribute on the subject:

http://therationalmale.com/2012/03/09/relationship-game-a-primer/

http://www.rooshv.com/top-15-game-tips-for-long-term-relationships

imgonnagetthisdone · 2013-05-16T10:45:24+00:00

Frankly, if you were a true alpha, you wouldn't even have bothered asking what to do here. Alphas have their own standards and don't need other people to tell them what those standards are. Being alpha is a state of mind, and it's not like happiness - you can't reach it by faking it.

While you say you're not bothered by her cheating, it does sound like you're worrying that she's settled for you. You feel like you have to compete with previous men you can't possibly beat. Frankly, this instinct is a rational one. The fact that she's had so many sex partners before you dramatically increases the chances that she'll divorce you - statistically, it's around 80% for 30 partners, if memory serves me.

I can't help you decide whether to marry her or tell you "what is the alpha thing to do". I can tell you, however, that whatever you end up doing with this girl, you should start working on improving your own attractiveness - start going to the gym, make more friends, learn to flirt, go out more often, etc. It'll benefit you no matter what happens.

Once your self-esteem is a bit higher, especially in the masculinity department, hopefully you'll be able to choose what to do by yourself without clouded judgement.

kukul · 2013-05-16T11:13:31+00:00

Thinking of the countless other dicks, facials, anal, the list goes on. It makes me sick to be with her when I remember this and even sicker to realize that the guys she did this with had bigger dicks and broader chests than me makes me red with anger.

And she enjoyed it oh so much and remembers it oh so fondly. Every time you make love to her there's a fat, hungry maggot of regeret that Joey the stud won't pump her like a whore again, eating away at her attraction and respect for you. Every time she tells you she's too tired to have sex with you, she's perfectly aware that she was never too tired to eat team captain Vinny's ass. Every time she spits out your cum, she spits out the very essence of your subpar manhood, so nauseating compared to the delights she's tasted.
But hey, at least if you stick around you'll get to see something those guys didn't: her saggy tits and wrinkles.

Still, that's a small price to pay for the safety and comfort your life together will bring. Because safety and comfort is just what a real man desires the most, isn't it?

socal83 · 2013-05-16T14:15:55+00:00

I know she would never do that

LOL were you born this stupid or did you have to learn through practice?

making sure she never cheats is YOUR JOB, not hers, and

We're both 29

I'm a stereotype of an introverted computer nerd

her having many more sexual and romantic experiences

My count is 2

tells me you are completely incapable of doing that until you fuck about 100 more women. your brain just is fundamentally incapable of it. it's like a skinny weakling trying to deadlift 400 pounds. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. IT JUST ISN'T.

good luck, you'll need it.

in fact i am 80% sure you are either a troll or a fake post because this entire scenario is just too perfect. almost-30 computer nerd meets wall-hitting former carousel rider who dupes him into marriage and being a beta provider? come on

tl;dr fuck a lot more women. invite her too. probably nothing new for her. her face has probably been in a dozen different cunts while being anally ransacked from behind by mr. athlete track star.

2013-05-16T14:09:51+00:00

What can I do now moving forward? I'm actually not as concerned with her cheating. I know she would never do that.

I just want to address this. I was in the same situation with my special puddin' who I thought was loyal but when an opportunity presented itself she proved that she wasn't an exception to the hypergamous nature of women. That's the situation that brought me here. I know we want it to be one way... but it's the other.

jin44 · 2013-05-16T18:19:10+00:00

I'm going to be as honest with you as if I was your friend. This is a clear case of a girl who has had her fun and now is in a different place in her life and wants to settle down. She is not trying to hurt you on purpose or consciously manipulate you in any way. She is simple at a different point of her life than you are.

You are the stable, comfortable guy who she can count on after she has had her fun. Whether you choose to be this guy is up to you. But your instincts and your "thoughts" won't go away.

favours_of_the_moon · 2013-05-16T16:41:04+00:00

Ha ha, dude don't worry about all that shit. She's with you now, no? Maybe that's because she WANTS to be with you.

A woman has a right to enjoy herself, as do you. No one should have to AVOID living life, because they MIGHT meet someone someday who will be jealous of that. That will result in resentment.

Build yourself up, don't knock her down.

And anyway who says there's anything to be jealous of? She's with YOU. If you wanna get down with the funky shit, role play that shit with her.

buster2209 · 2013-05-16T14:38:28+00:00

We're both 29 and are really comfortable and content with our jobs and combined income. You're comfortable. She's sizing you up and deciding just how much she can potentially get out of you.

I'm a stereotype of an introverted computer nerd and she was pretty much an athlete since being a child...

Meaning she is from the group who most likely rejected and bullied you throughout your own childhood. How do you think that's going to carry over?

And so that's resulted in her having many more sexual and romantic experiences than I have..

Don't even start to sugar coat this. Remember when you were a 17 year old virgin, with nothing to do on a saturday night but play video games alone, or perhaps with other outcast young men on the internet? Yeah, while you were doing that, she was busy taking it from behind by the guys who probably bullied you.. and she loved every minute of it.

My count is 2 LTR and she has given some shape to the reality of double digits - perhaps 20-30 - and 7 of those being LTR.

20-30? You should probably add at least ten to that number. Your cupcake is a whore, and irreparably tainted because of it. She'll never give a shit about you.

What can I do now moving forward?

Move on.

I'm actually not as concerned with her cheating. I know she would never do that.

You'd be a bloody fool. If she's cheated on you already, she's typical. If she's holding out until after you've contracted yourself into slavery, she's smart. Either way, at some point, she will be knocking boots with someone else.

Thinking of the countless other dicks, facials, anal, the list goes on. It makes me sick to be with her when I remember this and even sicker to realize that the guys she did this with had bigger dicks and broader chests than me makes me red with anger.

Congratulations-- this is the first self-respecting statement you've made so far. It makes you sick and red with anger because it should. Your dignity is worth more than some retired alpha cum recepticle.

I really love her and just wish I never learned about any of her history.

Blue pill creeping on a come up. You know all of that stuff about how a person's history shouldn't matter, and how you should only look at them as they are today? Well, it's horseshit. It does matter. It matters more than anything else, most especially in this context. If you only do one alpha thing in your life, make it sending this bitch back to the gutter where she belongs before you fuck up your life.

be_tru · 2013-05-16T13:40:19+00:00

I know she would never do that.

Come on man. Do you think all the other chumps that have ever been cheated on wouldn't say the same? Get real. She might, she might not. She's not a special snowflake.

Stay with her if you're happy, but don't care too much and don't marry her.

SeekingAlpha · 2013-05-16T16:51:01+00:00

I think you watch too much porn and seem quite possessive over another being.

So what is she's had a bunch of big cocks in her ass?

AlwaysLateToThreads · 2013-05-16T16:21:47+00:00

Yikes.

The only way I see you coming back from this is by dropping her immediately and starting over. Build up your strength, live alone, and develop a real plan to increase your success with women. Work on your weaknesses and enhance your strengths. Sleep with at least 50+ women before even thinking about getting in another LTR. It's a realistic achievable number. At 35 I am well over 200.

After all this experience you will see women completely differently. You will never feel insecure in a relationship again and if you still decide you want one, you will know how to pick one suited for you, not some emasculating situation with an ex-slore on the verge of the wall.

Quite the opposite, you'll have your pick of young women who will love and support you in every way possible, you being their greatest prize. Your current woman will NEVER see you this way (let's face it, she's had better), and therefore can never really love you the way you deserve.

I know you will probably not do any of these things and continue to be her beta provider because you are a little bitch. But I challenge you to prove me wrong. (ಠ‿ಠ)

Kepaso · 2013-05-16T12:10:10+00:00

the one who cares less wins in the relashionship.

phattsao · 2013-05-16T15:18:26+00:00

That's a very-used car you're thinking about buying

deep_fried_v-neck · 2013-05-16T18:27:45+00:00

my $ is on fake

Bobsutan · 2013-05-16T12:28:00+00:00

Quite frankly she'd be disqualified as LTR material in my book. Besides, at 29 you still haven't even peaked. Wait another 5 years before settling down when your options are highest, and include women MUCH younger who will on average have lower partner counts and in my experience treat you better (younger ones don't have their own status, so they'll appreciate what you bring to the table more than women in your own socioeconomic strata, which usually means older women your age on up.

shamanbard · 2013-05-16T15:35:46+00:00

I'm late to the conversation, and many guys have already spoken truth. I don't know your girlfriend, but she's probably a good gal. Fun, caring, great in the sack, etc. However, she IS NOT marriage material. Don't let it go on too long, get out as soon as you can. Ever hear of the hamster? It means she'll cheat, but rationalize it as not cheating. "I felt like we were growing apart", "I felt lonely", etc. She WILL get bored with you sooner or later, it's just the way hypergamy and female attraction works. She's had too many exciting sexual experiences with alpha cocks, and if you suspect double digits, it means more than 9 and less than 100. If 20-30 is what her notch count is pegged at, she's not counting the random handjobs, blowjobs, multiple men with the same first name, lesbian hookups (if she has those inclinations, maybe she hasn't, but lots of slutty girls get bored and seek variety), the list goes on. You're 29, and finally coming into your own as a man. You should be spinning plates and enjoying a variety of women. Say you get married, why should she get to have a smorgasbord of sexual experiences (before securing a beta provider), while you have a pitiful notch count of three for the rest of your life? Do NOT make any commitments to this woman, don't give up your money or autonomy for her. You ARE the guy she's picked to be her beta provider, and she'll lose all her attraction for you down the line. Remember, you're a man, you can fuck around till your 40 and marry a girl 15-20 years younger than you, she doesn't have that option. Let some other guy be her beta provider, you simply can't compete long term with all those other tall, handsome, athletic, hung, outgoing guys, and you know this. Good luck.

PaulMurrayCbr · 2013-05-17T10:24:26+00:00

!!

Seven LTRs. "Long Term" relationships. She's been banging like a broken screen door for 15 years, so that means "Long Term" is two years tops. You're a nerd: do the math.

She wants kids? She wants a house? She wants to settle down? Her horizon for a future is TWO YEARS. This person doesn't know what "commitment" means and never will.

ROFLest of all, you are "not concerned" about her cheating. Well, that's good - because cheating is what she is doing. Do you remember being 17? 16? A lonely nerd outcast? Being beaten and threatened every day? You want to know what cupcake was doing? She was pulling trains down behind the school gym with the very guys who bullied you and made what should have been some of the best years of your life a living hell.

And loving it. Every second. Every quiver, spasm, and contraction.

After you guys finish having sex, you drift off to sleep, and she pulls out the vibrator and gets herself off thinking about those guys. And every 28 days, she dresses in something short and tight, tells you she's off to see her sick grandma, and hits the town.

You know perfectly well you are being a fool.

mykart · 2013-05-16T15:24:36+00:00

Being more red pill means to stop letting other people guilt trip you into living a life you don't want to live. You have a legitimate and biological reason for not being cool with your girlfriends past, she was unable to get the alphas from her past to commit to her so now she has no choice but to settle for you.

Its almost insulting for them to bring up their wild past and to admit that they used to date "bad boys" but now want a good guy. Its all bullshit and the only thing you have to realize is that you don't owe her anything the same way those other guys didn't owe her anything.

My advice is allow yourself to live your life the way you want and if that includes improving yourself and catching up on some sexual experience then do that. Live a life that gives you more options so that you won't settle for people who are just settling for you.

roe_ · 2013-05-16T17:23:25+00:00

I'm actually not as concerned with her cheating

What's your evidence for this? I'm asking you to seriously evaluate this because your jealousy is tied into your instinctual fear of infidelty (which is really the fear you'll end up investing in some other male's kid).

Contemplating that, you will either come to the conclusion you have no rational reasons to believe it, or you have a bunch of reasons to believe it. If it's the latter, you can start the work of getting your emotions to match reality. If it's the form, well...

rich02468 · 2013-05-16T17:47:06+00:00

"29." Why aren't you looking for a 24-26 year old if you absolutely must commit to someone?

ENTP · 2013-05-16T17:25:34+00:00

The question isn't if she'll cheat on you, it's when. You're her stable beta to settle down with.

sfstexan · 2013-05-16T16:31:27+00:00

practical red pill solution to my out of control jealousy... Thinking of the countless other dicks, facials, anal, the list goes on. It makes me sick to be with her when I remember this and even sicker to realize that the guys she did this with had bigger dicks and broader chests than me makes me red with anger.

Dude you gotta calm down.

If it bothers you that much, then drop her. Go out and get loads more poon. Chill on the LTR stuff for now. You don't seem ready for it.

Title	Advice on LTR with multi-alpha widow
Author	doonhell
Upvotes	5
Comments	41
Date	May 16, 2013 9:59 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1efxzv/advice_on_ltr_with_multialpha_widow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/advice-on-ltr-with-multi-alpha-widow.4406 https://theredarchive.com/post/4406

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