Forget 99% of what you’ve seen in porn, it isn’t good in real life. Sex is much more emotional than porn shows, which is why I'm not going with my initial thought to write about what I knew would appeal most- foreplay/sex positions that feel/'work' best. Instead I'm going to tell you what you need to hear but don't want to hear because (like idiot me when I had a low double-digit count) you think that communicating during sex is against the rule, or that feelings are unmanly. If you don't want to feel anything then why even have sex? Honestly if anyone is at this point and you don't want the intimacy, just marry your hand for fucks sake. There is no rule demanding you to have sex either. If the only thing you want out of it is an orgasm, give yourself one and save time for other things.

For those who would like to fuck girls, the most important parts of good sex-making are these:

1) Make sure she is comfortable in this situation.

2) Make sure she is turned on.

You need #1 for #2 most of the time. You need to communicate during sex to keep either valid.

To communicate in this context means to convey your intent through all means. You need to use your body, sounds (not just voice), eye-contact, etc., to create a vibe which sucks her into the moment with you. You're constructing a reality where it's just the 2+ of you and your desires, where those can be freely communicated. This is how you get girls to give themselves to you; in surrender, worship, domination or whatever else your thing is.

To make sure she is comfortable in the situation isn’t hard to do but a lot of PUA types seem to skip it and end up with chicks regretting the sex. It's easy to avoid this however. First, be vocal. Tell her what you’re doing while you’re doing it. This has the dual purpose of turning her on more (see dirty talk below) and giving her the opportunity/’permission’ to say no if she’s uncomfortable. For the record, you shouldn’t be hearing no very often and if you do that’s the sign of a bigger issue. Second, show actual genuine human interest. There is a reason you took her home with you/to this shady back alley and you need to express that. Again, talk. “I couldn’t wait, I had to have you here” or “You’re so beautiful, I’ve wanted you since I first saw you.” I read bullshit from guys who clearly haven’t even had consensual intercourse like “Lol ALfA ELEET men NEVER compliment girls!” These people are idiots. The misconception guys who aren’t good with girls have is that compliments make women attracted to you, or the semi-decent guys think they make women unattracted. They don’t. They make women comfortable with you, because they make her feel good and they make her feel like you give a fuck about her and not just her pussy. They do literally nothing to attraction except encourage the feelings that are already there. If she thinks of you as a brother, they will confirm that. If she thinks you’re the hottest thing since super-heated aluminum then this will confirm that.

If you're having sex with near strangers you 100% can and should get consent. Some people here bash affirmative consent not realizing it’s turn on for the girl if it’s done right. The ‘secret’ is so obvious that it’s mostly missed: Tell her what you want to do with her and if it interests her, she will provide consent. “I want to stretch your tight little pussy with my fat dick” “Oh fuck me please” is the type of micro-interaction which turns girls on. The same happens with body language and actions. If she slips her panties off and starts jacking your dick against her Virginia then it’s obvious what she wants. It's an exchange: she is giving you the gift of her consent. That's just how it works because biologically, women are more picky for reasons we all know and love. Guys are pretty affirmative with their consent from the get go by comparison.

For the “make sure she is turned on” that is stupid easy: be attractive. If she said “yes” to coming with you in the first place you're ready. Congratulations!

Creating an Experience

• Dirty talk, dirty talk, dirty talk. Read some chick-lit and just say the things that vibe with you. This is the thing that will make girls melt in my experience. I’m not a super-stud gigolo with a 12in cock, I just talk good.

• Find your sex voice. Deep and dark. You want her to vibrate with it. Working on your voice overall is also a worthwhile pursuit.

• Personalize anything that could be construed as insulting (IE “You’re my slut/whore” not “you’re a slut/whore”) and don’t say it until she’s really into the sex. Also, say these things after you’ve said softer stuff and start light. IE dirty girl>my bad little princess>you’re my fucking whore>you’re my sex toy slut. These are examples I just wrote off the top of my head, not canon. Experiment.

• Say nice things while you fuck her. Very nice things. Tell her she has beautiful hair, tell her she has the tightest pussy you’ve ever felt, that she’s so wet you’re losing control… be sincere and explain why you’re enjoying the sex. This takes a while to get used to doing but narrating your experience is a great way to turn her on. Also, on the last one: she is making you lose control. The belief that she has taken a big, strong man and made him lose his mind because her feminine wiles/body are too much for him is a ridiculous turn on for most girls.

• Tell her what you want her to do. “Arch your back for me baby”, “Open your eyes, I want to see you” etc etc etc etc. When it’s getting more emotional saying stuff like “I can feel your soul with my cock” is great. “Suck my dick” and similar are good for most girls but you really have to gauge it. This is an experience thing and I’d recommend waiting until you know she enjoys being dominated/’used as a sex toy’ (aftercare is important) before you do it. A lot of girls get off on providing pleasure so it works with them and/or submissive girls. Those groups have huge crossover anyway…

• Tell the tale of your meet->fuck. I will run the story of what went through my head when I first saw her as I slooooooooowly penetrate her and open those lips like flower petals. I’ll be saying “I saw you in the library and thought ‘there is no way I can let this girl keep studying’ so I went over to you. I had to talk to you, because you’re so fucking beautiful. You had that sexy fluffy jacket and I had to feel it, remember? I knew you wanted me too, you offered me your number... You wanted my dick didn’t you? You wanted to be spread out on my bed like this, didn’t you?” etc. The sort of ‘monologue’ nature of this will make her more comfortable with talking back to you also. It’s the 90/10 rule of conversation: until she warms up, aim to do 90% of the talking so she can get comfortable.

• As above, ask semi-rhetorical questions she’ll answer yes to like “do you like this big fat dick stretching your pussy?” Think of more. Also related: if your girl is really into being dominated, tell her things like “it’s going to ruin your pussy baby… I’m going to split you in half…” etc. GAUGE IT. I can’t overstate gauging her reaction before you escalate enough.

• Girls aren’t made of glass. You can be rough and nearly every girl I’ve fucked enjoys that. They seem to be the majority in my experience, although I also would attract that type of girl given my overall vibe/style/aesthetic. However always start gentle the first time and work your way up from there. You don’t know what her sexual history is like, you don’t know if she has a tiny pussy... saves a lot of hassle if you just work your dick in slowly the first time. It will also protect your frenelum, which is why my friend Dan should have taken this advice.

• Do treat her like a princess, do worship her body and lavish her with praise until she opens up and starts reciprocating. The ‘alpha’ balance is classic: velvet glove on a hand of steel. Gentle, yet firm. Compassionate, yet strong… you need to balance showing you genuinely care about her with you ‘own’ her body/soul. This is the tightrope you walk. Girls are fucking complex, deal with it or enter voluntary celibacy. Sex is for both you.

• Sometimes the vibe is right to start dominant and just take her. You’ll know when this is the case. Usually with 18-21 year old sober girls though, they don’t have much experience and it can frighten them so it’s better to make them comfortable first. It’s very easy to tell when she wants to be dominated straight away- hell, she’ll probably just tell you.

TEASING IS OVERPOWERED. I don’t really know how to sell you on teasing more than by giving it dedicated paragraphs. Not sure if she’s ready for you to touch her girl-garden? Lightly stroke her belly/thighs until she starts moaning for it. Not confident in making her cum? Tease her for ten minutes with tentative caresses of her vagina/very close to and nipples, breath on her pussy, then do pretty much anything and the anticipation will make her burst like a dam. Getting close to losing your nut? Use just the head of your dick to fuck her for a few minutes until you get it back under control. Teasing is a solution to so many bedroom problems it isn’t even funny. If you’re not dominant enough, or she isn’t comfortable with you being dominant, you can establish ‘control’ in a lighter, less threatening way (thus testing the waters also) by teasing her. I have yet to meet a girl who doesn’t enjoy teasing.

A few quick points before I move on: Breath heavy and hot into her ear/on her neck. Kiss her neck/chest/shoulders during. You can build to sucking/biting, but you must pay attention to her reaction because a lot of girls don’t want bruises. Also, if you don’t want to leave a mark but want the same reaction, suck very lightly and push your tongue into her neck hard. Feels awesome. Lightly kiss/bite/lick her ear. Pin her wrists down. Gently caress any area that has thin skin- lower abdomen, back of the thigh, wrists, neck, etc… Squeeze her ass and spread her cheeks. Put a finger in her mouth…. Get creative. Sometimes you want to just hold her tight and tenderly grind her sweet spots while you moan into her ear and kiss her face. Other times you want to pin her down and smash her ass like you’re trying to break through her, clenching a handful of her hair. Watch, listen and feel her reactions, then work from there.

Stamina

If you want to last a long time in bed you’re thinking about it wrong because five minutes of great sex is better than three hours of dull sex. Usually, 10-40 minutes is the magic zone although occasionally (as I’ve said a billion times) “losing control” and blowing in 30 seconds is wonderful. “Oh baby you feel so fucking good I just couldn’t hold it back” not “sorry that never happens lol!” obviously. My ex used to cumafter I came if it was fast and I said something like the former, just from the feeling of my dick tensing inside her. She loved it and made it a personal mission to make me blow in record time. Also, the odd sex marathon is great, but regular sessions will make her sore. This is bad, especially if you want repeat sex within the next 24hrs. Balance and variety are keys.

Do kegels. Google them if you don’t know. I do 50-100 a day two or three times a week because I’m in maintenance mode, to start with do them every day you can get a full erection and take a day rest if you can’t. Do these erect by the way, flaccid isn’t much of a workout. Sets of 20 are good to begin, just add a set every week and then add reps for there until you’re also doing 50-100 a day. These muscles become and stay strong easily while also improving your orgasms a lot.

Yoga or stretching. The body-control from stretching is a lot like the body control required to hold back your white-dragon, more than lifting is. I do five to ten minutes every second day and one longer session on the weekends. Yoga is also a pretty good place to meet chicks, although if you go there to meet chicks you’ll be ostracized quickly. They can tell because it happens on a weekly basis. When you join a class (which you don’t need to do since there are many resources online) spend the first few weeks just sticking to yourself and getting better. People will start talking to you after a lesson or two anyway. I personally treat yoga like the gym: before my session, I’m down to chat for a minute or two. After, I’m happy to hang. During is my time to do what I need to do though. Most of the people there seem to have that attitude in my experience.

Lastly: CARDIO. Do a lot of cardio. I cycle and box; because cycling is a convenient way to get places and boxing makes me feel like a gladiator. I also do bodyweight circuits at the gym once or twice a week. When I was 100kg and focused on bulking I used to blow in <5 minutes most of the time, since I just didn’t have the endurance to go longer. I’ve found the lighter I am, the better my stamina is. Having said that, the ‘sweet spot’ weight turns girls on a lot more, so you won’t need to go as long. Cardio in my opinion should just be a part of your day, with the occasional high-intensity session to keep your fortitude up. This keeps bodyfat stays low year-round without being too exhausting.

TL;DR

"Making (a girl) cum is more like snake charming than wrestling." - my bisexual female friend. That's not a TL;DR of the above by the way. Scrape together 10 private minutes to read if you want to be better in bed.