TIFU

OracleofFl · 2017-10-05T12:00:14+00:00

Closure is for losers. Who cares why she is avoiding you? One thing is absolutely certain, she isn't going to go from avoiding you to flirting with you because you confronted her over it.

Here are the spectrum of possibilities that could have caused her to ghost you: Firstly, you could have said something or done something during the week of car pooling to turn her off. Secondly, she is just being a manipulative bitch. How could a confrontation possibly overcome either of those two possibilities?

Read the material linked on the right and incorporate it into your life particularly the "abundance mentality" material.

bostonburrito · 2017-10-05T11:29:21+00:00

Basically I have a coworker-

Stopped reading there. Don't eat where you shit.

shneakypete · 2017-10-05T12:23:50+00:00

This post just bugged the shit out of me. Basically all I saw was "I awkwardly orbited around a girl at work and she shot me down a ton and I never got the hint so I confronted her and I got my feelings hurt. AWALT. TRP confirmed. Women are bitches."

Sounds to me like you asked her out multiple times and she said no. You made multiple advances on her and she shot you down as gracefully as she could hoping you'd get the hint but you never did.

When you ask a girl out, give her a specific time and place. You say "let's go eat at badass burgers tomorrow at 7." The reason you do this is you're letting her reject the event instead of rejecting you. This makes rejection much less weirder for both parties.

Second thing you do is you only ask her out twice. If she rejects the first request then you do another at a different time. If she rejects you then you are done. It is understood that you have expressed interest and now the ball is in her court. If she shoots you down but is interested she will offer a time and a place that is convenient for her. If she doesn't then soft next.

LateralThinker13 · 2017-10-05T14:25:22+00:00

I was going to start by echoing others - don't date in your workplace. It's moronic even if it works, can get you fired for conflict of interest/personnel management reasons, and makes the woman uncomfortable if it doesn't work.

You sound young and, well, not terribly bright.

Second, she owes you nothing. You interpret her asking you for a favor as "befriending" each other. Do you consider yourself to have befriended a panhandler whom you give $5? No? Then you aren't friends. You're an idiot and a sap and are owed nothing. Frankly, you're acting like a "nice guy" beta. Stop it. Of all the reddits you could do that in, stop it.

MattyAnon · 2017-10-05T19:15:57+00:00

. I thought that if she didnt really want to, then she would tell me early and make it up the next time.

And here's where you're wrong.

Girls will procrastinate cancelling because they are conflict avoidant. If they wait long enough, you might cancel. Or you might forget. Or she can later claim "oh, I hadn't heard from you, I thought we weren't on".

Bottom line is: watch her actions. She talks when she wants something, ghosts when she doesn't. This is extremely simple, and it's only your wishful thinking that's making you confused.

I asked her if she was avoiding me like plague.

Weak.

She had a weird defensive language, and she said that she's really same to everyone.

Conflict avoidant.

Then I told her that I'm an open person, that if she needs to say something then I can take it. That we can be friends. She says yeah I thought that we are friends

~~Friend~~ Orbiter. There, corrected that for ya.

when confronting her

Confronting her is... of course.... fucking pointless. What did you think was going to change? You cannot negotiate desire.

Bless TRP.

You have a lot to learn.

First off: women make shitty friends. Evaluate all your female friends now and ever.... how many have done more for you than you've done for them? Chances are 99% have done fuck all for you, and you've not noticed it's a one-sided relationship.

With women you're either orbiting them, fucking them, or you have nothing to do with them. Other than family, those are your options. Your ONLY options.

ytfromsnwcrsh · 2017-10-05T14:15:01+00:00

improve yourself (lift, groom, dress) and get surrounded by cool people, do cool stuff and do it your way. That could bring better results than confronting her to state the obvious and end up friendzoned anyway.

SkorchZang · 2017-10-06T06:08:10+00:00

This post illustrates passive aggressive beta behavior with exacting detail. If you think you're in some way original or in control here, you're very much mistaken man. We say women are predictable a lot, but beta males are even more predictable than women. Following the beta playbook all the way, like a robot. It's a great "never do this" lesson.

The flair you're looking for is "Blue Pill Example"

giggity23 · 2017-10-05T08:54:11+00:00

Good thing you realized it was a mistake to talk your way back to her. You should have ingnored her when the signs were there and moved on to another girl.

oldslut · 2017-10-05T21:56:19+00:00

in her mind, you went from some guy she didn't care much about, to some big creep that's following her around the office. great job!

QuietSuit · 2017-10-06T15:26:31+00:00

Sounds like she needed you for carpooling, wasn't interested in you beyond that. If she's not into you, she's not into you. Move on. And don't carpool with her again unless she helps you pay for gas.

PokeyTifu99 · 2017-10-06T20:53:08+00:00

Hands in your pockets gives off the illusion you are uneasy and looking for comfort. You ever seen a boss confront someone with hands in their pockets? Hell no.

xgozax · 2017-10-05T09:51:06+00:00

This sounds very similar to what happened to me with a co worker but I fought the urge to talk my way back to her. That talk definitely communicates that you care too much and can be seen as neediness. I just moved on to other girls and ignored her. Eventually she came back around when I stopped giving her attention and we fucked. However, after we started hooking up occasionally I somehow still ended up developing oneitis with her. I was able to not show the neediness just enough to seal the deal but internally I still cared too much for this one. That's how I fucked up and it was disappointing because I knew better but I lost control. Never again.

Title	TIFU
Author	3541265744
Upvotes	7
Comments	17
Date	October 5, 2017 8:08 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/74ekey/tifu/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/tifu.46352 https://theredarchive.com/post/46352

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