It started 2.5 years ago.

Before I begin, let me say I fully accept the blame, I caused this, and I’m beginning to fix it.

I was 24, in decent shape, recently discovered tinder (good shit), and got a promotion making 90,000 a year in the Midwest.

I played a few girls on tinder and had some sex, nothing too special, but I still enjoyed it, it felt good to be wanted.

So I have a few problems.. (this is relevant) I like to use marijuana, and I like to slack off and cheat my job by hanging out at home. Something a woman threatened to use against me at one point.

Anyway I met a single mom on tinder, who asked on our second date how much money I make. I answered honestly, and she had a physiological response (looked away and gulped) so later that night we fucked, it felt better than average, I remember feeling like I knew she only wanted me for my income, but I didn’t care, I just wanted the sex.

So she obviously wanted to keep me around, because I’m doing pretty well. I fucked up by staying there, and the longer things went on the more guilty I felt. Next thing I know she’s always pushing the boundaries of our relationship, and for me to be around her son, even though this woman barely knows who I really am, and even though I throw out MAJOR red flags (talking about my past meth abuse, having a baby with a meth whore who I couldn’t earn any rights to, my many sex partners, and drinking too much in front of her and her kid.)

Anyway, the most recent thing she pushed for was buying a house, I am such a fucking idiot. I didn’t go beyond my means at least (I’ve done some work to it, should be able to sell it without losing too much).

I want to break up, she and her 5 year old son never shut the fuck up, I’m getting laid less often, my house is always a mess, and she’s beginning to use me for financial support despite me paying all the bills, and on top of all this I get to be a free baby sitter, and if I want to hang out alone in my room she takes it personally that I don’t want to be around her kid.

Now.. I’m just worried she will try to get me fired if I break it off without paying out some hush money. she can’t prove my drug use because I’m clean now. But if she tells my boss I cheat my gps I could be in trouble. This is all something she very subtly eluded to during our last talk of breaking up.

So my new game plan is to work my butt off during the work days and let some time go by, maybe I’ll tell her my boss caught me, and that now I have to Check in or something. If I can take her ammunition, I’ll finally feel safe to ditch her..

The only positives to my situation is that I’m not married and that I haven’t gotten her pregnant.

And all of this could have been avoided by saying..

“I’m sorry, but while I think you’re great, raising another man’s kid isn’t for me”

Be true to yourself, and be honest with your sex partners. Otherwise it’s crazy what you will to do to yourself with the guilt of living a lie.