Summary: Whether we want to admit it or not, confidence matters. While it is true that looks, money, and a host of other things have a big say in how people (especially women) treat you; confidence has a big say in it too. For some, confidence comes naturally but for most, it has to be worked on. I used to be the typical insecure younger guy who at one point had a very low self-esteem, it took me years but after a realization I had from my experiences, I can proudly say that I have developed an unbreakable sense of self-confidence.

Who in this world is going to believe in me?

My worst trait when I was younger was that I would always ask those close to me "do you think I can or should do it?". Asking out that hot girl? Applying for that nice paying job? Applying to that world class university? Trying out for a sports team? Doing anything that can take my life places? Do you think I should do it? Can I do it? Can I!?!?

The answer, whether it was from my parents or from my friends was almost always a no and occasionally a yes if it risked me embarrassing myself (asking out that hot girl). Yet for some reason, I always needed to let someone in on my plans or my ideals. I always needed to talk about my goals, aspirations, and ideal future with people close to me whether it was my parents or my good friends. The resistance and nos were almost always there, rarely was I given support.

I realized that I was insecure and needed approval from those close to me in order to pursue a tall order. During that time, I realized that I needed to be the home team that had to have its cheer so it could succeed. I mean that is how it is like in the movies right? How could I ever do this if the whole world is against me?

Then I started to see it happen in the world and it frustrated me, life frustrated me. Guys that were uglier than me getting hot girls I daydreamed about, guys less competent than me getting that nice paying job, and guys getting lives they could not have possibly deserved. Just because some of these guys had better circumstances growing up, were raised in nicer neighborhoods, and didn't face half the obstacles I had to face meant they got more than I did.

You can say life is unfair like that, I mean the world has many "successful" people who hardly faced any difficulties on their path to success, for a good number it was practically handed to them. Getting that nice paying job because dad had some serious pull in the company or coasting through life because parents were rich and spoiled junior, ya life is unfair like that. Worst part is when society actually treated some of these guys like they were so special just because they had some very easy circumstances in which mostly anybody could have succeeded. Yet, at the same time, the kid who probably worked 5 times harder in life and had to overcome so many difficult obstacles to even get a relatively decent lifestyle going is somehow way lesser than them. No, I am not going full out Democrat/liberal here, I am just stating a fact of life we all need to accept. Society views you based on your outward accomplishments, no matter how easily you got them.

I knew and believed in my mind that if I had their circumstances growing up, I would be doing way better in life than them. I truly believed that, as much as society told me no. Yet, I also realized that in the end, all that mattered was the results so I had to prove myself...

I still remember that one day, six years ago, when I was at a mall in my town. As I went to the food court, I saw this tall beautiful brunette standing at a table next to mines. The girl looked like a Megan Fox, lots of similarities in terms of looks. As I was thinking about talking to her, this loud guy in a camo hat smacks her on the ass. Well that was out of nowhere but it was one of those things that really stuck with me. The guy sounded like a hillbilly, was mostly loud, and didn't even look all that great yet he got the girl. A few of his friends came to join in and there he was just talking about how amazing he was, loud to where I could easily hear him as the girl laughed. The guy let out how he worked in plumbing, not to look down at a job but it isn't really that high SMV of a job.

Now I thought about it, there are many decent guys with promising careers and tons of alpha traits who did not have a girl that hot in their lives yet this joke managed to get a girl like that. I mean there are handsome high value guys who are dating plain average looking women and yet this clown managed to snag a hottie. Why?

Because the high value guys might have been to critical of themselves. The guys objectively better off in life than this clown might be making the same mistake I made, they asked themselves and even others if they "can do it" or if they should do it.

Yet, this clown who managed to snag a hottie might have realized one cold hard truth about life that we all struggle with. The answer to the question, who is going to believe in me is NO ONE, ESPECIALLY if you are not typical of the person meant to live that sort of life. Not a tall white guy that is rich and comes from a prestigious family? You don't deserve success and greatness in life!

Yes, that is the uncomfortable answer to the question. Not your parents, not your close friends, and not even society is going to believe in you. Want that nice paying job? The hot girls? The amazing life? Greatness? Glory? No one believes you can do it and the truth is that when they believe you can do it, they will do everything to stop you from doing it.

The truth is, society HATES the underdog.

Why should you get the hot girl when they themselves are either single or dating plain janes?

Why should you get a nice paying job when they themselves are struggling or don't even have one?

Why should your life be amazing when theirs is miserable?

What if they themselves are successful?

Why should you get the hot girl and ruin their monopoly on the game?

Why should you be their competitor for that nice paying job?

Why should you live an amazing lifestyle that rivals their amazing lifestyle and potentially makes them feel insecure?

They will do everything in their power to stop you from having your dream life, no matter how cruel or under-handed it may sound like to you.

Many will tell you that you just aren't a top tier guy, will never be one, and you will never get that life. Plenty will pretend to "look out" for you when you sound like the maniac that wants a better life. You're crazy, psycho, deluded, and unworthy. The only person you have who can truly make it happen is yourself, throughout the whole process. After all, you are not supposed to be that 30 something dating hot girls, you're supposed to be that fat balding 30 something with a nagging wife and kids that hate him.

Imagine when "upsets" happen in sports or politics, who in the world can see those coming? Not any of the "experts" whose livelihood depends on predicting that sort of stuff. The team, the coaches, the candidate, or the fighter are the ones who believe it can truly happen. No one believes it, until it finally happens. No one believes any of your goals and aspirations, until they have come true, then they said they "always knew you could do it".

I looked back at my experiences and realized the mistake all along. A part of me needed some people to believe in me when the reality is, even if I had the talent for it they would not believe in me. Even if I had the looks and charm to get the hot girl, they would not want me to get the hot girl. Even if I had the talent, brains, and work ethic to get that high paying job, they would not want me to get that high paying job. No matter how capable or incapable I was of achieving something, the answer is that society was always going to tell me I can't do it.

At the end of the day, the only person who wanted me to succeed and get that better life was me.

I made it happen, I stopped asking questions, I tried, I took many nos for an answer, I failed some, I won some, and after a long journey I made it. I have it now and I love it.

I have dated and slept with hot girls that I would have never seen myself being with, been to parties I could not imagine, lived a life I dreamed of as an adolescent, and truly feel like I get better every single year.

So the next time you wonder if you can live the life you want, get the job you like, or date that 10; just remember, they don't think you can!

Lessons learned -

1 - So many guys end up dating women well below their league or underachieving in life because all this time, they just asked questions and were way too critical of yourself.

2 - If you ask people if you can achieve success, the answer whether or not you're capable of it is a no. You're crazy, psycho, and need help.

3 - Always remember the "underdog" in sports and politics, the ones all the "experts" say can't do it until the upset is finally pulled off.

4 - The only person who will potentially believe in you is you, if not you then no one will.