Using a throwaway because I don't want to have to see this on my post history when I inevitably feel better and less of shithead.

**TL;DR: Skip to "Well, here's where I fucked up":

SHORT BACKGROUND: I've been versed in TRP for just shy of two years now. I've been loosely affiliated with PUA-esque stuff for closer to six or seven, but only in the past 8-12 months have I gotten really serious (Dress stylish whenever I leave the house, grooming / hair always on point, athletic build with ~10% bf, actively chatting up people as I please). Unfortunately, there is a limit to what I can do, I'm 5'6 and just make the cutoff for what Chris from GLL describes as the "looks threshold" (Essentially, a threshold that you have to at least make for girls to consider you attractive). Also, I'm a college student at a well-known top school in Boston.

Meat and tatoes: Approached a girl two weeks ago from behind (her ass was insane), "Are you a dancer?" Her: "Yeah.." Me: "How'd I know that?" Her (exact words): "Cuz I have a nice butt?" Me: "You must get this a lot"

Then she asked me for directions, I told her I was heading there, and I walked her there. Fast forward to Thursday, I'm working out at the gym, and she's a staff member there and comes up to me. Very flirtatious and teasing conversation. She squats in front of me multiple times.

Then later that day at night, as I'm leaving the library I get a text from her "I see you". I call immediately, tell her I'm getting food, but I'll come hang out with her. This is my first beta strike. I move her to a more secluded part of the library, and let her have some of my food. By some, I mean she devoured it (she's a freshman, with "7 cents in my bank account"). What throws me for a loop here, and what threw me off my game is she was unlike any girl I've met before. She had so much personality, no "girly" inhibitions, she was a nerd (biochem eng major) in a HB9-10 (the kind of girl who can get any guy she pleases) body telling me things like, "I like to solve derivatives for fun, there so satisfying... I do the unassigned comp programming problems for fun". I let my guard down. We joked, we laughed, I teased her, touched her, and in the end, I walked her home, she hugged me and rubbed her face against mine. We agreed to meet soon.

Going great right?

Yesterday, we were texting loosely back and forth (just to setup logistics for our date). Lunch became dinner, because I had something to do that afternoon.

I pick her up from hers, and we walked to a very, very fancy restaurant. She was impressed "wow.. this place is like nice.. I wasn't expecting this". I teased her the whole time to play it off.

I did gay shit that I never do, like pulled her chair out for her. I spent a fuckton (h'orderves, entree, martinis for her, beers for me, and dessert). She was pretty tipsy, laughing really hard when I teased her, I told her lots of stories.

Still going great?

Well, here's where I fucked up: I said we suggested we do something after dinner, along the lines of more drinks. She obliged. We walk a nearby bar, but it's stuffy and full of middle-age guys. If I had just gone there, it would've been fine. But I had to bring her somewhere cool. Somewhere poppin. So we take an uber downtown, and I got what I wished for. After waiting ~10 minutes on the line, we get in, and her vibe is totally different, I can sense it. She's more reserved, probably evaluating SMV or just her situation in general. I sensed this, so I called two friends to try to get them to come out prior to getting inside. Bought her and myself a drink. I also did two beyond mortifying things (when looking back), one: I approach a group of girls and say: "hey have you met my girlfriend?".. They reply, "Your girlfriend is really beautiful" and immediately turn back around. We put our stuff down at a table. Like I said earlier, she's an ex-dancer (those who've read the whole thing, I appreciate your time and effort), so I'm dancing with her, but it's not a lot of physical contact between us. I fuck up again, talk to some random drunk guy, "hey have you met my sister?"... Total fag-beta shit. So here's my AWALT moment someone knocks her drink out from her hand. She tells me *"wait right here, I'll be right back". I understood immediately what that meant, and I'm pretty sure my face dropped a bit too. She repeats: "please, just stay right here, I'll be back".

5 minutes... no sign. 10 minutes go by... still not back.... I decide fuck it, I'm not going to stand here like a chode (haha, little too late guy), go outside for a smoke. I call my boy who's well aware of the situation and he (rightfully) tells me to get the fuck out.. As I agree, I see her, dancing with some group of girls. I sack up, and go up to her, "hey whats up".. She looks surprised to see me, but gives me a somewhat enthusiastic (likely feigned) "Heeyyyyyy...." I try to start dancing with her like normal, but less than a minute, she's following the group of girls she met away..

I get my shit and bail.

She calls me at 2AM completely wasted after the place has let out, and I've been home for 20 minutes, "hey... where are you....I don't know where I am... I just got in a random car..".. I'm completely withdrawn. I then Beta Bitch again, and call her back "I'm going to bed, are you okay?".. She drunkenly says "yeah, thank you," I tell her bye.

** TL;DR2; Made myself a beta bitch, bought her fancy ass dinner, then proceeded to cuck myself at a club.**

The worst part of it is that I'm considering calling her this afternoon to see if she's still interested. Haha. I know it's pathetic but she's so hot, and even more so, I actually like her personality a lot. She's so laid back and chill. She's nerdier than me. She revealed so much of herself to me, and I can't help but really like her. I know I'm a total fag, but I'm just being honest with myself and you guys.

Thank you anyone who took the time to read this. I appreciate you more then words can describe.

Edit:

After bashing my head against a wall for the past ~24hrs or so I've got some key takeaways. First, I didn't expect this receptiveness and I want to say you guys are fucking awesome.

There's really only two courses of action for me here: I cry like a bitch, making myself a victim of life, for my own actions leading her to Chad Town, or I take it in stride, keep my chin up, learn from my fuckups and grow from the pain. I wouldn't be writing this edit if it was the former.

Key Takeaways: 1. Never take a girl (project) to the club.
2. Never backpedal into BB land which directly feeds into the next takeaway 3. She's not special. No matter how hot, interesting or otherwise unique snowflake you think she is, don't pedestal her. 4. Escalate sooner. And for fuck sake, do not de-isolate her when you had her on the ropes. One detail I left out from original post, while waiting for dessert I grabbed her hand and squeezed / held it on the table for a good 2-3 minutes and she was unflinching. This combined with her being 3 martinis in at around 5'2, just ass and tits, was a recipe for success that I goofed. Hindsight is 20:20 and I missed this huge sign. She even told me "her friends went out without her", so logistically and physically, I have no words to describe how much I fucked this by not just taking her home. 5. Don't call her your GF when she hasn't even fucked you (this one less so, obviously they'll be flirty exceptions, but I came off like a total cringeworthy loser) 6. This was a soft L compared to the shitstorm emotional wave I would've rode by inevitably losing her to a guy who gave way less of a fuck about her than I did, dropping $200 on a dinner the first date. I should / could have still fucked her that evening though. 7. Stop being a PUA trying to bounce her to multiple locations / dates when she's already giggling non-stop, smile ear to ear, you physically screened her and she was seemingly down for more. 8. At the library, beginning of the end. Allowed myself to get brainwashed. I even thought along the lines of "wow wtf this girl is so cool" which spun the hamster in my head that inevitably pedestalled her even before the restaurant. 9. Abundance.

To those of you who said I didn't do anything RP, you're partially right, but it's much different when you're face-to-face with an insanely hot girl (who you managed to get interested in you) than it is reading secondhand experience. While secondhand experience definitely helps cut the learning curve, I really think this L was necessary for me in my journey toward becoming the man I want to become (as corny and lame as that sounds). Would I have liked to have add her as a notch in my belt? Sure. Would I have liked to spin her as a plate? Sure. But contrarily to my goals, I acted like she had a golden pussy, was the most interesting person ever, and oneitis cucked myself. To be fair though, among that clutsterfuck of an experience, I managed to do a few things okay.

Things I did okay: 1. Initial approach. Conveyed lack of a fuck, fun, and alpha leading traits. 2. At gym, still had some alpha traits teasing her, flirting, and overall carefree / fun nature. 3. At dinner, telling stories I wanted to say. Teasing her a lot. Still kinda lack of giving a fuck, she tells me all she drinks is protein shakes (college life) and I proceed to rag her for having the worst farts ever lmao, she was dying. 4. Physically screened her (although this wasn't cognizant at the time)

*Thanks everyone. *Likely the end of this story, even though I'll inevitably see her at the gym. I'll just do me, be care free, not gaf that she's there, and whatever happens happens. Soft next / not answering her calls / texts (if she does) for the next 3 weeks.