For starters, I just wanna say that women don't owe me anything. Even if I'm "nice" or whatever, it doesn't entitle me to anything. That's not why I'm here. I'm here because in my entire life, every romantic, sexual, and courtship experience I've had with regards to women has been not only unfulfilling, but embarrassing. I look back at women I've pursued and/or been with, and I can't think of a single enjoyable instance. Every girl I've ever met has been an emotional trainwreck that for some reason has sought revenge out on me due to how their partners in the past or male role models in their upbringing failed them. They project their pain, wants, and insecurities instilled by these men onto me, assuming I'll be like them, and then treat me like dogshit as a result. It doesn't really work, I just end up walking away pretty early on, but it has led to a constant loop of emptiness, emotional baggage, insecurity, and time wasting.

Initially, I took a look at myself and the kind of women I was pursuing to see if it was my fault. And yes, there are certain women where in looking back, it was pretty obvious that there were warning signs that they were bad news. Some weren't very goal-oriented, some partied way too hard, some had emotional problems. But the problem was, very little of that stuff was revealed to me early on. Other than maybe 2 people, I can't think of any women I've talked to who right off the bat were obviously problematic. Most were really good at hiding their issues initially. But over time, it was corrosive to our connection.

The stories I could tell here are wild:

I had a girl I was seeing casually try to use one of my best friends against me to "secretly" find out if I wanted a relationship with her. She didn't want me to know that she "didn't have feelings for me" but liked going on dates, presumably for the free food, so she wanted my friend to figure out my intentions. Rather than coming to me first, she tried to exploit my friend and myself. My friend told me what she did and I called it off with her, and she tried to get me back, but I wasn't having it.

Another girl was really hot and cold with me so I stopped talking to her. She agreed to a date but was super inconsistent with setting a hard time and day for it, so I gave up. Never cursed her out, never even called her out really. I just left her alone. Years later, I find out that she still throws dirt on my name for no reason, and she even tells people that we went on a date and that I was "awkward". I never once dated her, as she blew me off initially, and I lost interest because of that.

Another girl blew me off, and even ignored me in public after being really flirty and pleasant around me. I let it go and said nothing, because like I said, women don't owe me anything. A month later I ran into her randomly and we kind of hit it off. I figured maybe something weird happened, and I still liked her, so I tried to ask her out to be my date to a dance at school (this was college). I was weary however, because she was so hot and cold with me. A few hours went by, no response, figured I was getting blown off again, so I asked a friend instead, who agreed. Turns out she was "sleeping" midday, which was actually true, but I had no idea. Bottom line, she ended up telling me that she had liked me all along and wanted me to chase her. There was a week left of school by that point, and she had wasted by that point over a month playing a game that was completely in her head, hurting me tremendously in the process once I learned the truth. What's more, the "friend" I took, whose ticket I paid for, got mad at me for not hooking up with her that night. The thing is, I didn't hook up with her because earlier that year, she told me she wasn't into casual sex. We were a week away from the school year being over, and she was an international student. I didn't want to use her for sex and hurt her, so I didn't pursue anything with her, as to not get her hopes up. I just figured we'd go to the dance as friends. But after the dance she never wanted to talk to me again, all because I tried to respect her personal and emotional boundaries. Basically, she acted like I owed her sex for taking her out. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot here...

Another time, a girl I was hooking up with at school left my apartment to get picked up by her "friend". A month or two earlier, when I first met her, she had a boyfriend. Her boyfriend she told me was a football coach. I ran into her two months later, and she was single, and we hit it off and hooked up. When she left my apartment, she told me her "friend" was picking her up, and that he was coming from coaching football. Turns out her "friend" was her ex, who she was actually still seeing when we hooked up. That didn't hurt me any, but I thought she was total trash for treating him that way.

The first friend I ever made at college was a girl. We met on the way to the admissions office to get our room codes. She lived in my dorm, on my floor no less. She was pretty cool, we had stuff in common, and I enjoyed hanging out with her. I wasn't attracted to her, and her personality was endearing in a friendly way but I never felt more than friendly with her. Apparently, she wanted to date me. One time at a small party, she pinned me down to the ground when our friends left the room to help someone who was puking. She wouldn't get off of me, and was force-feeding me alcohol, trying to get me drunker, presumably to make me let my guard down so that I'd hook up with her. I tried to push her off me, and eventually she did move, but she resisted a lot, and was even tugging at my shirt. That's sexual assault, and if I did that to a girl, I could (rightfully) be kicked out of college. I never reported it, but when eventually she learned that I wasn't interested, she stopped wanting to be my friend. In fact, she went around telling people that my dick was small, and that I was too shy and awkward to talk to girls. I was very outgoing, and even helped other guys I knew get confidence in talking to girls. I just wasn't interested in her, didn't pursue her as such, and she hated me afterwards. She thought because she was nice to me, that I owed her sex and companionship. Again, imagine if the shoe was on the other foot here...

I asked out a girl recently. She was super enthusiastic, calling me pet names off the bat and telling me word for word that "she was interested", that I "stood out in a good way", and would "love to go out with me". When I tried to set up a time and day for the date, she stopped responding to me. I called it off after she blew me off, and then a week or so later, we randomly bumped into each other. She told me she had changed her number, and was sorry for not texting me. I didn't really believe that, but if it was true, I didn't want to blame her for blowing me off if it was a freak thing anyway. I forgave her, rescheduled, but told her to text me first. I wasn't about to waste my time again. The day of the date rolls around, and she blows me off again. I met her the next day (we work in the same building), and she started telling me about how busy she was that day. I didn't even ask how busy she was, she just went right into it. I told her that due to how busy she was, it was probably best that we went our separate ways. I didn't take kindly to being blown off twice, but I didn't lash out either. I just lost interest, but respected her allegedly hectic lifestyle. She seemed really okay with it, and I figured maybe she was just juggling a lot of stuff and was anxious about dating as a result. I ran into her a few times after that, and every time, she refused to acknowledge me. At first I thought I caught her off guard, but she'd notice me, see me, look right at me, and then ignore me. I took being blown off twice, once after she came to me looking for a second chance, very well. Extremely well when compared to most men. But, I put my foot down. Apparently, I guess I'm supposed to be at this girl's disposal until she decides to make up her mind about how she feels about me and what she wants from me. Yet again, imagine if the shoe was on the other foot here...

Finally, there was a woman that I wasn't pursuing at all. I DJed her birthday party, getting paid for it. I was asking for the second half of my payment for completing my services, which she paid. We were talking about the party afterwards, and she told me that she hooked up with three men at the party. I didn't really want to know that, and that's pretty grimy to say the least, but hey, she can do what she wants. At the end of the conversation, she told me that I was cute, presumably hitting on me. I thanked her for the compliment, but didn't really go any further. I didn't go any further because despite her being pretty attractive, she told me that, at a party that I was at with her, this girl managed to hook up with three different men other than myself, and barely interacted with me, despite me being the actual DJ to her party. I couldn't make a move on her directly, as I had to man the turntables and whatnot. But she could've tried to strike up a conversation, but outside of asking me to play her favorite song, she said nothing to me. I didn't mind that, as I was literally only there for business. But I'm not about to play fourth fiddle, certainly the day after the party when I was there all night and now I was back home, an hour and a half away. You had the whole night to try to talk to me, why the fuck are you telling me this now? Anyhow, because I didn't ask her out after she called me cute, she blocked me on social media and probably her phone (never tried texting her, but if she blocked me on social media, it's a safe bet that the phone is part of the equation here). Apparently, regardless of her behavior, her complimenting me should make me interested, otherwise I'm the bad guy. Once again, imagine if the shoe was on the other foot here...

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There are other stories I could go into. Crappy hookups from gross girls, gross meaning that in the same night they were fucking someone else. Weird dates that went nowhere, women friends who were assholes, men I know who have had bad experiences. I'm posting this because yet again, I think I'm being toyed with by another girl. I have no idea what the motives are this time, but I do know what my next course of action is. If I'm actually being toyed with this time, I'm going to be "going my own way". Even if I'm not, the option will be in the back of my mind. I don't hate women, but I am very very very tired of being treated this poorly. I'm having a hard time sleeping right now due to this. I don't deserve this, yet this is what I get. I hope that this woman proves me wrong, and doesn't shit all over me. But that could just be some wishful thinking.