Hey ladies, I just have a general question about vetting, and the importance of it. I have been reading and re-reading the Surrendered Wife in the past year and a half, as well as listening to Laura Doyle's podcasts. I just get confused because there's so much in her theories that makes it seem like nearly every marriage situation IS salvageable. She even came out to say that she now doesn't agree with the statements in her first book about not surrendering to men in specific situations, like for example addictions. I've read columns where she interviews women who have never even really respected their husbands from the beginning, and they most certainly didn't vet, BUT they applied the skills and they have transformed their marriages. It seems to me that here in this sub there's a lot of emphasis on proper vetting, and that if you don't do that you can't find a real captain and therefore you really can't or shouldn't submit. So, I'm just wondering if there's gray area with that? Doyle seems nearly totally convinced that any situation can be turned around. What do you all think?