Anyone else overcompensate?

round_is_funny · 2020-05-09T02:42:42+00:00

I don't like my past. But I also appreciate that it had to happen the way it did to lead me perfectly to the life I love now. Shame and guilt are real but they can be healed.

teaandtalk · 2020-05-08T22:12:46+00:00

This happens all the time! Please don't think about yourself that way. You're still valuable - a whole, well-rounded human with a rich life, virginity is just one aspect of you.

This thread came up a few hours ago and I think it would be valuable to you: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gfxdgs/just_a_tip_on_virginity/

ShootingDanks · 2020-05-08T22:12:53+00:00

This is the world we live in. Few people enter marriage as virgins. Most have multiple marriages in a lifetime. You can accept that you are the person you are today because of all the actions you took in the past and know that you are deemed suitable as a wife to your partner. Or you can fret about past actions that can never be undone and be haunted by what you did, which is generally considered a perfectly normal part of human development, until the day you die. Not sure why you'd want to do that, though.

Have you ever read The Power of Now? I think you could really benefit from it.

radradraddest · 2020-05-09T19:49:34+00:00

I've been with a lot of people. Like, a LOT. And I said people intentionally because yeah, men and women.

I think if Jesus was real, he'd still love me. Isn't that what he's all about? Loving the sinners?

You sound like a really normal, modern day, human being.

Life experience makes us who we are today. Stop looking back and wishing for a time machine. It's okay to have lived some life and to have gained experience. Consider that after trying some other flavors, you've figured out what your favorite is! That's AWESOME.

Stop miring yourself in shame and accept that you are a human, flaws and all. Humans all have sex drives, and humans are designed to learn through trial and error. Rather than live a life full of "what ifs," you get to move forward knowing what else is out there and that you chose the path you're on!!

Good luck, OP. I hope you stop beating yourself up over something like this.

Jay794 · 2020-05-09T21:56:58+00:00

The whole virginity thing is over rated, you shouldn't let it bother you. Most guys don't care about their partners previous unless its a very high number, but I guess that just means more experience

AgathaMysterie · 2020-05-09T04:07:36+00:00

I think you have to go into each new relationship with a "virginity" mindset. Even though you have had sex with an ex, you haven't had sex with the new dude you're seeing - and DON'T. Yes at some point you will have to cop to the fact that you've had sex with a previous partner, but part of the "virgin" allure is sending the message that "you can't have sex with me right now/whenever you want". Plus new dude will probably get the picture that you take sex and commitment super seriously, even with a slip-up in your past.

The biggest mistake you can make is treat the situation as if you broke the seal, so now you'll just go ahead and have sex with new partners as they come along. It doesn't sound like you're going to make that mistake, though.

And you DEFINITELY don't have a reduced value. If anything, being able to make a mistake and still move forward in the right direction is a sign of strong character. I think you're going to do great!

Title	Anyone else overcompensate?
Author	emmen1212
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	May 8, 2020 10:05 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/gg2rpl/anyone_else_overcompensate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/anyone-else-overcompensate.661964 https://theredarchive.com/post/661964

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