I've taken a three year haitus on the Pill since I first discovered this subreddit in 2017. I am turning 21 this coming June, and it has taken another unfortunate, but liberating realization that the Red Pill is the only mindset to keep.

Since my "lovey dovey" break up from 17-19, I guess I went on monk mode, or I was being a little bitch. I'm going to be a senior in college now and I haven't been smashing anywhere near the amount of broads as I want to. Probably a couple.

Recently I swiped and matched with this chick on Tinder and we hit it off. We Facetimed nearly every day for weeks and I can't believe I've told her that I think I love her and I may want to marry her, even though deep down I don't want to, but I don't mind either. Her face is completely my type and her personality is 100/100. She started catching feelings too and I couldn't stop imagining/fantasizing all the great vacations and experiences we were going to make in the future...until five minutes ago when a conversation topic took me at a complete stop. It felt like a semi-truck of liberation and genuine sadness that this girl is not the one. Or any girl for that matter.

We were talking and the conversation led to the using the "Hitachi Wand." For some of you who don't know what that is, look it up. Its basically a vibrator or steroids that makes a girl clit explode. I asked her how she was so familiar with it and I literally had to dig up information from her past using semantics and found out that a hook up partner of hers used it on her. The moment she told me that, I literally lost the sight of her "being the one" and saw a complete whore instead. I was sad, but I was glad that it hit me.

It comes to show that no matter how innocent or lovely you think a girl is, everyone has a past. To tell yourself that she could be the mother of your kids or even a partner to truly love, is complete bullshit. This post is mostly a rant/realization that the one's you thought you loved, aren't real. This is a self-reflection post for me to remember this moment. Stick to the Red Pill and focus for the best for yourself. I can't believe this girl has taken hold of my mind these past weeks. I'm happy to be back boys and would like your completely honest roasts and feedback on what happened to me. I'm honestly kinda sad, but happy. I can't believe how gullible I thought. Give me your worst boys. Thank you for reading, and keep those nuts up.