Why you should never pay for a man

123psych123 · 2020-06-09T16:42:56+00:00

I know Anna has a partner. Did she ever mention in her videos if she wants to get married? Just curious. I’ve watched her videos for a while and she mostly mentions tips and attitudes towards dating and being elegant but not marriage.

greenpenguinnn · 2020-06-09T20:41:34+00:00

I was once married to a LVM—I really bought into the 50/50 model, mostly because our incomes were similar (with his being only slightly higher). Also, I was kind of raised that way—to always put in your share and do your part. When he started talking about having kids, I was understandably freaked, as I couldn’t imagine having to work full time and raise a child at the same time (I was pretty sure the child rearing would not have been 50/50).

Over time, I started spending more money on things—on essential items like food and sometimes on pretty non-essential items like cooking gadgets and decorations for our home. I stopped trying to negotiate that we raise our food or other items budget because it was always a struggle with him (so I just bought the extra stuff myself). Also, he seemed to object to me buying specialized food items (I like to cook and experiment with new foods/recipes—it is one of my main hobbies), but he sure enjoyed eating or trying whatever I would make. I later found after we divorced that he had saved a crap ton of money, all while I was buying things of mutual benefit to us and our household. One could say that I was indulging a passion/hobby (cooking), but it was definitely something that he enjoyed/liked/benefited from as well.

I think a lot of money/spending should be negotiated on a case-by-case basis depending on the relationship (only so many rich men out there!). But, if a man is always resistant or putting up a struggle to spending more or indulging you, take it as a red flag. He is probably just a frugal mofo and won’t ever change.

Big difference now dating in my 30s (I am 33)—my current boyfriend (36M) takes me out and pays without expectations. He buys me little presents, books, expensive supplements… just because he wants to buy things to help me or keep me happy. In return I do cook some meals for the both of us, but I never feel taken for granted because he makes an effort!

chateauduchat · 2020-06-09T16:44:52+00:00

[deleted]

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-06-09T18:03:23+00:00

I love Anna. She gives great advice and has amazing style, too.

Pinkapple_ · 2020-06-09T17:22:25+00:00

In my experience, 50:50 is a sign of LVM behavior. Someone who is high value wants to pay for you to make you feel special. If you ever have to debate money, this man is just not worth your time.

2020-06-09T20:39:22+00:00

Someone here recommended saying “Oh, I thought this was a date?” and I loved that!

2020-06-09T15:47:13+00:00

Anna has major Queen energy.

Gaki-fan-too · 2020-06-09T18:02:37+00:00

I'm hesitant to read the comments section. Probably from LV men.

tizio_tafellamp · 2020-06-09T20:16:30+00:00

Her channel is basically FDS in video form.

SnooOwls178 · 2020-06-09T23:45:24+00:00

If you are reading this edited comment, it's due to the fact that I will not be using Reddit anymore, and I'm going through all my comments with the same message and thereafter deleting it after a day for the wayback machine to pick up. Reddit's rampant misogyny and hatred of us women, I'm fed up with it. No more. I am pro-sisterhood and ever remain. Many blessings to our HVM and our fellow sisters. I have joined the real FDS site, a site made with diligence and care created by women for women, our island of peace and sanity, where our voices are never shuttered and slapped away, but instead we are respected and encouraged to soar.

I'll be sailing my queenship to sunrise waters and to a new home. I wish you reader to walk in light, health, and happiness.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-06-11T09:44:50+00:00

My mom has given me the same advice. If we're doing 50/50, then we are FRIENDS, not romantic partners.

Title	Why you should never pay for a man
Author	wootykins
Upvotes	86
Comments	17
Date	June 9, 2020 3:29 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gzpc80/why_you_should_never_pay_for_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-you-should-never-pay-for-a-man.674087 https://theredarchive.com/post/674087

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