Recently broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months. We are both 29 and obviously I want to settle ( I was engaged before, but it did not work out). I found out he is a RedPiller and it hit me hard. He did not do anything bad, but relationships were not progressing apart from spending weekends together and occasional trips. Our ethnicities are different: in his culture, people tend to date for longer amount of time (ridiculously long) before settling, and in my culture we tend to commit faster. He felt like my emotions were too much and I was reacting in a dramatic way to his actions (to me, it seemed like he did not care enough). I did not realise he was redpiller and I thought of him as of an emotionless robot, because I have never experienced anything like this before.

I do most of the stuff redpiller men look in a woman - very good looking, family oriented, cook very well, submissive and respectful, have hobbies. He basically told me that he sees himself in a family life further in future, but I, considering we are both the same age, cannot wait that long - therefore we should break up, because he is not going to satisfy my needs. Still, he told me he wanted to be with me, but cannot live like this, because we have different needs. Obviously, when a man REALLY wants to be with you, he IS with you. I was in pain, but went no contact at all for a month.

Now, since I read so much about Redpill, and realised how he was taking my simplest questions (genuine) for shit tests, etc, I realised that I was pushing too hard and it scared him off. Once we met up to get each others's stuff back, he tried all sorts of kino with me, and we ended up kissing. Obviously, I read some of the discussions here, how men downgrade from LTR to plates ( I know for a fact we were exclusive - he did say we were in relationships, did 'boyfriend' stuff and never even made me feel jealous or acted suspiciously).

I feel like I sabotaged things a bit by appearing very needy, and want to get back with him, because he is a wonderful man. But what happened, is I stayed at his apartment 2 weeks ago - dinner and sex, he put a lot of effort, even baked a cake. This was probably a mistake from my side, but I decided to risk it and see what happens - perhaps we will get back together. He was very affectionate and all that, but never brought up relationships topic anymore and I was just scared to talk about it, because I feel that there might be a chance, but if this happens gradually. I saw sadness in his eyes when I mentioned my future plans of going away to another state for 2 months ( I am travelling in 3 weeks). I left his house and phoned him in the evening, saying that I will be in his area soon again, and he invited me over immediately ( for sex, of course). I agreed. So, I am in a really bad position right now - he does not initiate meetings first.

What should I do? Is there a chance we become LTR again, or there is no way once downgraded to plate (if he sees me like this, I am not 100% sure). Do I bring it up? Do I initiate contact? Do I ask him if he wants to see me again after my 2 months trip? I do not want to give this up yet. I feel like he would commit, but needs more time and no pressure. Also, do I reveal I found out about Redpill and these mental strategies?