I’ve become disgusted by the idea of relationships and marriage.

Shaela90 · 2018-07-14T19:07:29+00:00

I think you are not yet over what happened in your former relationship/hookup/whatever you want to call it.

Work on that, pick yourself up, engage in new activities, even if you have to drag yourself to do them in the beginning. When you get to a place you feel proud of yourself looking back, that's when your 'disgust' will melt away and you'll think people are cool for being interested in you.

That's the nastiest part of low self esteem that no one seems to talk about. You have such a bad opinion of yourself that you automatically think anyone interested in you is not worth it anyways. AND fall for guys who don't give a shit about you because in your warped sense of self-worth you think they're OH SO GOOD since they're not interested in the mess you currently are. Something along the lines of 'I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member'.

It is only by achieving things and make yourself proud that you'll be able to both get over what happened and attract new people in your life. But you gotta work for it first.

carrotriver · 2018-07-14T18:41:36+00:00

TBH, to me it sounds like you have a low evaluation of yourself as a partner and woman. Maybe some attachment trauma from your ex or from the family you grew up in?

stoicstephen · 2018-07-14T18:52:17+00:00

When a man commits to a woman it doesn't mean he is a loser that can't get any better.

There are a lot of high SMV men who want to commit because they like the Captain/ First Mate dynamic, and want a partner in their life to go along with them on their adventures of life.

I value more a great LTR than a life of fucking random women.

I want a connection.

I want someone on my side.

That doesn't mean I don't have a back bone.

And sure there are men and women out there that cheat, but if it happens with me I would rather know about it than to be unaware, then I could go and find another parter, one who (according to my learned experience and better vetting) would be loyal and rational in the face of emotions (of hypergamy in the case of women).

HB3234 · 2018-07-14T20:24:50+00:00

Your disgust is natural and healthy, to an extent. It's your body protecting you. Right now, your self esteem is very low - you think any man who would commit to you would have to be low SMV or have issues. And guess what? For the most part, only predatory men chase women with such deep self esteem problems. So, this disgust is a self defense mechanism to protect you from people who would otherwise take advantage of how vulnerable you are due to your low self esteem.

As you build yourself up- therapy, hobbies, career, giving back to your community- your self esteem will rise. You'll see yourself as a wonderful person. And when you do that, you'll see it as natural for men to pursue you and won't think badly of them.

Time to get to work.

SmamelessMe · 2018-07-15T13:38:35+00:00

That sounds very much like learned helplessness.

You refuse to engage in activity that could potentially hurt you, because you've been hurt before. Unfortunately, putting yourself in position of getting hurt is the risk of associating with fellow humans, in something as high-stakes as reproduction and related "activities". If you want to see humans who have been hurt badly, go checkout /r/mgtow.

Learning to trust others is something that has to be done by each of us alone. Nothing I can say can make you trust others, because logic cannot beat emotions. You need to learn to integrate and use your fear, instead of it controlling you. If you're struggling with that, talking to a professional therapist may speed up your understanding and integration of these emotions into your personality, so you can use it to face the world.

Courage is not the lack of fear. Courage is facing the world despite the fear.

subgirl182 · 2018-07-14T22:07:19+00:00

You have to take TRP with a pinch of salt. For me, I took the pill because I was an angry feminist and it was affecting my sex life and marriage. I needed to be reminded that I'm a feminine woman who wants to be married to a strong man, not someone brow beaten by my bad attitude. It's a tool to help me put things into perspective, but my husband is still a person, in his own right, with his own personality and values which I love and respect. He is not some stereotype that fits into a box that will definitely do anything.
You've been a plate because you weren't picky enough, you allowed him to spin you. Focus on what you want and have high standards, vet properly and take no bull. A decent guy will be attracted to that in you. The whole submission thing is really most useful once you're already committed. While dating though, you have to be high value and you have to believe it/know it. Otherwise, you're just like all the others x

imtrying33 · 2018-07-16T03:53:31+00:00

My husband has incredibly high smv im about a 4 he's like a 9 currently. He committed to me. Im also dorky short and 13 years older then him. I'm not going to delude you and say you go girl you can get Chris Hemsworth if you want to. But good attractive men will commit to you. I asked mine out and did the leg work to out play my competion. It paid off. Never asked a guy out before I was terrified but it worked. Put the work in to better yourself. Maybe pursue a guy you really like. Usually they say yes. Be better then your competition and you'll have nothing to worry about.

Title	I’ve become disgusted by the idea of relationships and marriage.
Author	imtrying33
Upvotes	9
Comments	17
Date	July 14, 2018 6:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8yvcqv/ive_become_disgusted_by_the_idea_of_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/ive-become-disgusted-by-the-idea-of-relationships.67464 https://theredarchive.com/post/67464

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