Did you improve your relationship/marriage by being more submissive?

LaneysWorld2 · 2018-08-06T21:27:06+00:00

Absolutely! Unfortunately my last relationship still ended because my RP behavior was too little too late, but when I did act in a submissive, feminine, and above all, RESPECTFUL way, the difference in response I got was astonishing from when I acted like a nagging shrew who always had to upstage him.

morganKxoxo · 2018-08-06T21:43:37+00:00

Definitely, although I translate ‘submissive’ into wanting to serve my husband and put him first. In turn it makes him want to serve me and we have a win win situation where we are both looking out for each other and practicing being less selfish for the sake of the other person.

okayestwifey · 2018-08-06T21:19:44+00:00

Yes absolutely! I attribute this partly to being naturally kind of a bulldozer, and my husband is pretty mellow. So basically when we didn't do this "submissive wife" stuff, I made all the decisions, was the only proactive one in the relationship, and we resented the hell out of each other. I'm still not a doormat, but now it's a matter of gently and respectfully offering input, rather than just leading our lives and then being pissed at the burden of it.

W0zzynix · 2018-08-07T00:44:37+00:00

Yes, my first marriage was a complete and utter failure. So, the second time around (2nd marriage) I decided to use rpw practices from the very beginning. This is the happiest, healthiest relationship I've ever been in. I owe you ladies a great deal of thanks.

preworkoutandsteak · 2018-08-07T03:58:14+00:00

Absolutely. We are a partnership, two halves of a whole, but with two different roles. We are equal in our worth.

I read Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl and it really chastised me in a way that was uncomfortable, but it was true.

Her husband wrote a book called Created to Need a Help Meet for the man, and it equally chastises them in a very man-to-man way.

Unfortunately, I let a feminist ex friend borrow it and she burned it.

lavidaredpill · 2018-08-07T01:42:35+00:00

My husband and I are both very opinionated but he has a tendency to ask my opinion and then tell me that I’m wrong. I used to lose my Schmidt and whine about it but now I just turn the question back around to him so he has to make the first decision and then I can kind of “refine” it by saying that” I like it but what if we tried this? “

Also, I had a very bad habit of getting snippy when he asked me to add a task to my todo list that would torpedo the plan I had for the day. I’ve adjusted my approach to these request in such a way that I make him in charge of prioritizing what I need to do. Sometimes, I will have to adjust my day to accommodate but a lot of the time he listens to what I have planned and rescinds his requests because he’s cognizant of the priorities I have set for the day.

Bottom line, I’ve learned that it’s so much easier and less time consuming to communicate rather than argue.

[deleted] · 2018-08-07T10:33:13+00:00

In what ways did you manage to improve your marriage or relationship by being more submissive and more feminine?

We used to argue so much more. I was a very defensive person, but not particularly aggressive. He's very masculine / alpha and can come across slightly brash or harsh, even when he sometimes doesn't mean to. My tendency was to be very reactionary. I would get so defensive, paranoid, shrill, "how dare you accuse me of..." and "I can't believe you would say..." By learning to react less, stay calm, not jump to conclusions, and JUST STFU SOMETIMES (so hard for me), I would say our arguments have decreased to nearly none. When I start to see red over something he says / does, I force myself calm, quiet, and try to approach his words with less violent reactions. Stopping the reflexive, overemotional reactions has changed everything.

When did you begin to notice a change and how did you work on yourself?

The change came within a month or so of getting serious about RP. There were some residual effects of my old behaviour for sure. He would react to my negativity BEFORE I was even negative, which was frustrating, but I had trained him effectively to assume the worst and behave accordingly. He was too used to me complaining, reacting with panic and drama, or trying to "subtly" (and sometimes not-so-subtly) manipulate him into seeing and doing things MY way. So it took awhile for him to catch up and notice that I had stopped doing those things. I worked on myself by reading self-help relationship books (mainly on effective communication), also reading The Surrendered Wife, hovering around this reddit, and picking female role models / icons whose grace and calmness I could easily mentally access and imitate when I felt most tempted to lose my cool.

Do you talk about such things with your husband or do you try to be subtle about it, by just changing your behavior?

He knows a little about RP and that I read / post here. He agrees with the general philosophy and theory. But beyond that, we don't discuss it much. He was RP before he knew what RP was, lol. In the earlier days - especially when I was struggling to change or when he'd react in advance to something I hadn't done yet - I would tell him that I am really trying to change and become a better partner to him, and I would ask for his patience or faith. But that was only a few times - with him, as with most men (I feel): show, don't tell.

dottywine · 2018-08-07T16:24:02+00:00

I found that if the thought of being submissive turns you off, he’s not the one for you.

Being more submissive is something my partner secretly loves but he insists that I don’t need to do it.

I wouldn’t say it dramatically improves our relationship but it does make it more fun and makes me feel less stressed.

loneliness-inc · 2018-08-07T14:17:19+00:00

IMO, submission isn't key. Receptivity is!

Title	Did you improve your relationship/marriage by being more submissive?
Author	LaneysWorld2
Upvotes	15
Comments	19
Date	August 6, 2018 8:12 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/954qme/did_you_improve_your_relationshipmarriage_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/did-you-improve-your-relationshipmarriage-by-being.67519 https://theredarchive.com/post/67519

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