Introduction: So I decided to dabble into online dating after quitting just to experiment how much different my experience would be after all the newfound wisdom I have collected over the past few years.

Hypothesis: I hypothesize that there are great risks in being involved with pathogens, aka, low value men. They will create viruses ranging from mild-severe and only the immune system of a strong willed woman who takes the precautions and correct antibodies will deter them.

Methodology: I will conduct an experiment where I test the flow of men's conversations. I will time and calculate how long before men transform a seemingly nice and normal conversation into one with inappropriate, sexual undertones. Upon refusal to take part in these conversation, will these men prove themselves to be pathogens or good bacteria? Stay tuned to find out.

The Analysis:

Case Study 1: He tried to impress me by showing off his motorcycle.

The Vroom Vroom Virus: 1: I would like to take you on a ride on my motorcycle and then we can go to your place and drink coffee together.

Me: There are two major issues with that: I don’t know you well enough to come to my house (we just met an hour ago) and the obvious, COVID-19.

Him: Coming to your house is harmless. I don’t have any bad intentions. I just want to hang out over coffee.

Me: I can’t rely on the trust you have of yourself to allow you inside so soon after meeting you. Plus, the rule is, most guys who want to come over so soon have different intentions than to simply chat over coffee and I’m not going to make you the exception.

Him: You’re a really rude and mean person.

Concluding statements: I guess he wasn’t used to a girl turning him down because the whole “I RiDe a mOtorCyLe” swooned a lot of naïve women in the past. He further insinuated that my ideology was too traditional. Nice try. By the end of the conversation, he stormed off and said, “if you still want to talk, you can”. I guess despite the fact I was “rude”, he found me a challenge and didn’t want to cut me off completely? Maybe he’ll try winning me over with some other sports vehicle if I decided to stay.

Side question: Do men have no fear entering a random stranger’s house at all or are they fully aware of the privilege they have in knowing that women are not a threat as men are for women?

Case Study 2: The Persistent Pathogen

Asked me a few personal questions. I told him I wasn’t going to share that information so soon. He said that was fine but later, tried to convince me again mid-conversation. I refused so he told me I was an angry, controlling woman. How could I possibly be the controlling one when he’s trying to guilt trip me into thinking I am angry just to get information out of me that I CLEARLY told him I wasn’t ready to share yet? He insisted that I was an angry woman. I didn’t reply so he double texted me saying that angry, feisty women are cute though. Okay, weirdo.

Case Study 3: We were talking about our travel experiences when he paused to say that he’s thinking of taking a shower. I said that was fine, he can go ahead. Then he texted me this:

Moldy pathogen: Can you give me a shower?

Me: I would rather die a thousand times.

Him: *laughing emoji* Wow. You would be privileged to.

Me: Ew.

Him: Are you a lesbian?

Side question: …so any girl who doesn’t like you is a lesbian? Got it.

Case Study 4: In the middle of the conversation, he started to incorporate many sexual undertones. I immediately shut those down. He was shocked that I wasn’t receiving it well because surely I had to be over the moon by his prestigious education degree and wealthy family, right? Nope! His conversations continued to carry sexual undertones when it was clear that I was not interested to partake in this kind of conversation so I sent him a picture of gold garbage.

The Gold-Plated Rubbish Virus: I’m garbage?

Me: The premium kind.

Him: Has anyone ever slapped you?

Me: No, they wouldn’t dare.

Him: I would dare.

Me: Try me so I can show you your fate.

Him: I’m going to sleep.

Me: Do whatever.

Him: I know.

*2 hours later after not opening his messages. *

Him: Goodnight.

*The next day, still haven’t opened his messages*

Him: Good morning.

Conclusion: According to my observations, my hypothesis was correct. Pathogens are scary, predatory, uncontrollable and will resort to violence if a female has a strong immune system. This study was dangerous to conduct so please don’t try this at home and I’m so sorry that women have to go through this shit.