I didn’t think I’d be posting on here, but my world has kind of turned upside down and could use some feedback on what to do with this situation.
I (32F) live with my (35M) husband, my (6F) daughter, my (3M) son, and my (56M) father, who is my kids grandad. I was going through a lot at the time I got pregnant, and I wasn’t even sure my husband was going to stick around. My parents had just divorced, so my dad ended up moving in with me after they sold their condo. He is kind of a man-child and I don’t think he would have been okay on his own, and I desperately needed help raising my daughter as I was already barely hanging on to a crappy job and my now husband was undecided if he wanted to be part of her life yet. Obviously being pre-defensive here but these are my reasons.
My dad has been a great help and he spends almost all of his free time with my kids. My husband and I both work, so it really has been invaluable. My daughter is 6 now and she and her grandpa, my dad, hang out a lot. He still lives with us, mostly out of me feeling too guilty too kick him out. She loves her grandad a lot, and every once in awhile, maybe once a week, she’ll have a sleepover kind of slumber party with grandpa. It’s kind of a fun treat thing that he does if she gets good marks or helps around the house. She looks forward to it, and I’ve never questioned it. They stay up late and eat popcorn and candy and watch movies and she sleeps in his bed with him.
So this I dont know what to do with or what to do next. I’ve talked to the few family members that I know won’t blab to the whoke workd, and I’ve heard differing opinions.
Last weekend, I woke up earlier than normal on Sat morning and went to my dads room to check on them. His room is kind of an addition to our house that the original owners put there, like almost a guest house but just a room that’s attached. You have to go through the backyard to get there. I cracked open the door and peeked in the room
[might be a trigger]
and my dad was passed out at his desk chair with porn videos playing on his computer screen and his pants around his ankles. My daughter was asleep in his bed or else I would have gone competly crazy. I just froze like no way this is what my eyes are seeing right now. I grabbed my daughter and got her out of the room while she was still too groggy to notice what was going on, and went back in his room and ripped his f-ing head off. He swears up and down that hed never done this before that she didn’t see anything. He said he fell asleep watching porn and didn’t mean to be exposed like that.
I’m not naive enough to think my dad never watches porn but he was doing it right in front of my daughter. A friend of mine says that this is beyond messed up and that my dad might be grooming my daughter or even other things that go with that. I’m still in shock that he would do that anywhere near her. To think that it might be worse than that makes me nauseous. I don’t want to overreact and I dont want to tramautize my kid anymore than she probably already is. I don’t want her to even know that this happened.
I haven’t told my husband yet, and I’ e stayed home from work all week. I’m not letting my dad be alone with her at all, and he’s just been hiding out in his room. I just keep telling my daughter that he’s sick. My husband has an off week and gets home tomorrow, and I didn’t want to tell him over the phone plus I know he’ll lose it on my dad straight away.
I’m posting here because I don’t know what to do next. I’m terrified of overreacting and terrified of underreacting and I made the mistake of calling my aunt and telling her about it. She thinks I’m overreacting and that I need to just make sure they don’t sleep together anymore. I know my husband will want to kick him out on the street or worse. I just don’t want to make this any worse on my daughter than it already is. If you were in my position, what would you do about my dad? Would you kick him out or just limit his contact with my daughter?
TL;DR: Went to check on my daughter who was sleeping in my dad’s bed (her granddad) and found him asleep and exposed at his computer desk with porn on the screen and my daughter asleep in his bed a couple feet away. Need advice on what to do about it.
[–]SaitschikFDS Newbie60 points61 points62 points (0 children) | Copy Link
My father watched porn when I was around 12. I was in the same room playing computer games and turned my back to him but of course I knew what was going on.
He never groomed me or assaulted me or anything but he was such a messed-up porn addict that he apparently couldn't help himself even for the short period of time I visited him. I was there maximum once a year, my parents are divorced since forever.
I devolped disgust for him, the same disgust I have for all pornsick men who don't have themselves under controll.
Who knows what this degenerated grandfather has done to this little girl. My guess is he filmed her or something alike.
But no matter what, masturbating to porn when a little child sleeps just two meters from you - I have no words 🤢
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist46 points47 points48 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Males are depraved. Her mother left that asshole for good reason. She’s not responsible for that old coot. #KickHimOut2020
[–]rftw2013Ruthless Strategist19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd kick him out. If he's got such poor judgement that he thinks jerking himself in front of porn is acceptable behavior with a sleeping 6 year old in the room, he's not fit to be around kids unsupervised.
I know you're relying upon him for certain things right now, but your daughter deserves to be safe. You'll figure it out.
[–][deleted] 31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
This lady’s got four kids, not two, and one of them is a potential pedo 🤮
[–]RadFriendsFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Life in prison ASAP
[–]CSQUITO11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg I would’ve so angry. I can’t even begin to describe.
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points (2 children) | Copy Link
I almost downvoted this out of sheer revulsion, Jesus 🤢
[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist[S] 20 points21 points22 points (1 child) | Copy Link
I considered not posting for the same reason. But women need be aware and stay woke.
EDIT: just to EMPHASIZE the depravity, there are already some scrotes trying to comment, asking me to remove this post, but the automod is putting in work! 🙅🏽♀️
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s really disgusting that men are not strong enough to stop the vile amongst themselves so they choose to ignore and silence the proof.
[–]thicckitties1FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
This actually makes me really sad and pissed off. He’s disgusting. I was sexually assaulted by a family member who started with things like this then escalated. She needs to kick his ass out
[–]mydeepestinnerworksFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I just want to fucking die.
[+][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ino_y18 points19 points20 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Just in case naive women still held out hope about the good nature of man...
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ino_y9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
The pick-me's pop in and out ;)
[–]grimreapersdtrFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
I think many women need to question the normalization of incessant pornography use among the men in their lives. This is an extreme example of what accepting pornography leads to-- exposing your children to perverts without boundaries and child molesters. I frequent other subs where women discuss their relationships with porn addicts, and it's not uncommon to read about how their husbands consume porn within feet of their owns sleeping children. It's revolting, and should NOT be considered "acceptable" behavior.