How to stop thinking that guys will act right if they are really into you?

wowthispostissad · 2019-12-30T23:38:27+00:00

This is going to sound very simple but I promise you it’s very difficult and will require work:

You need to shift the focus on getting your valuation from men and what they think of you. Shift the focus to what you think of yourself.

How to shift focus: therapy (individual and group), workshops (meditation, confidence, networking, etc.), surrounding yourself with like minded women, investing in your own health mentally/physically, investing in your own education/skills/career, investing in your own finances, investing in non romantic relationships, having hobbies that bring you enjoyment, etc.

Things you can actually do: exercise, cook healthy meals, skincare and grooming (you can do makeup or ps if you want, but I consider these as optional), making new friends and getting rid of bad ones, taking classes or workshops or certifications, etc.

whycantweallgetal0ng · 2019-12-31T00:01:20+00:00

I think of all the famous, rich and very pretty women who can't find a high value man to save their life and realize it has little to do with money and looks, though that certainly helps, and a lot to do with how you feel about yourself.

RoundTwoElectric · 2019-12-31T00:09:37+00:00

Idk if this makes sense, but men do act differently with certain women that they’re really into. They string along people they’re not into while they wait for the “one for them”. Does that mean there’s a problem with you? Nope. Move on, he doesn’t deserve you. Someone else will appreciate you, don’t postpone finding them

Whateverrr_345 · 2019-12-31T00:25:31+00:00

I really want you to click my username and find the thread with the "not all commitment is good commitment".

Really, you don't know the reason why they act like that with one and not the other. It doesn't all have to do with attraction. Perhaps it has something to do with looking like their ex, or you remind them of someone else, the other person may be their "type", maybe they're not actually searching for anyone. The unicorn is an elusive and often, losing game. People ALWAYS think they can "do better" until it bites them in the ass, and they end up alone.

Some men even have a madonna/whore complex. One guy (unaware he was a narc) tried to cheat on his "madonna Gf" and tried to place me as the "whore". I didn't see it at the time but now I do. He wanted to do everything with me but not love me. And he was emotionally invested in his GF but would seek me out despite that but for fun time.

Some guys "split" you in their mind (nice versus bad girl or whore versus virgin) sometimes if they have a perception of you. It's crazy, sometimes it has more to do with their perception and use of you than you yourself. He may think you're too classy for him but you may think nothing of yourself. Or you may think highly of yourself but he thinks nothing of you.

Ms_Tilly · 2019-12-31T03:37:51+00:00

I honestly think a low value man is going to treat any woman badly. Any. Woman. He may put in more effort in the beginning and would never break up with her, but he's still going to slide back into his low effort ways. Some men are just that damn lazy. My ex husband was chomping at the bit to marry me. He wanted me to get pregnant. He did not want a divorce under any circumstance. But he was still too god damn lazy to put in the effort and change it would take to keep me. The next guy who wanted to marry me quit a job making bank to move 2000 miles to a strange state to be with me. He'd been pining for me since I dumped him ten years prior. He called me the perfect woman. And not a damn thing had changed and he forced me to dump his ass and make him move back where he came from. I gave him ten months of chances and NOTHING. Same shit with the fat, ugly narcissist I dated. He finally got a beautiful woman interested in him and then immediately fucked it up and kept fucking it up. Low value is low value is low value.

And there are a ton of low value men out there. They are a dime a dozen. We have to wade through them and not get stuck on any of them for any reason.

Whateverrr_345 · 2019-12-31T00:39:38+00:00

I also forgot to tell you, if you don't feel like you deserve it, you have low self worth and low self value. And you need to work on that. Pickmeisha places others before herself. In this case, any men regardless of how shitty they may be.

I'm curious if there was an event in your past where you felt like another girl was getting more attention or love versus you (perhaps a friend, your sibling, a rival or schoolmate)...that may be an unhealed part of yourself that you need to work on. It's called shadow work.

2019-12-31T01:57:25+00:00

You have to realize that those girls are just people too and are in no way better than you, even celebrities. If someone doesnt act right for you, its not you its them and a matter of compatibility. Youre not going to be compatible with someone who constantly acts in a way that is offensive to you and you also cant change anyone. Its meant to be an indication that its time to find someone more compatible.

Quick story - One time my bf and I were having a debate about this exact issue, and I said, well you ain't no brad pitt, to which he responds, well youre not angelina jolie, and I said, I know Im better 😂😂 he was silent after that

2019-12-31T08:39:30+00:00

It's true, if they were really into you they WOULD act right. Even if they were a tool, they would shape up. However, you need to swallow your ego and pride and realize that not acting right means that aren't that into you. How convenient, now you can move on to someone who is interested in you very much.

Title	How to stop thinking that guys will act right if they are really into you?
Author	LoStInWonDerLanD33
Upvotes	20
Comments	28
Date	December 30, 2019 11:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ehu4rr/how_to_stop_thinking_that_guys_will_act_right_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-stop-thinking-that-guys-will-act-right-if.694749 https://theredarchive.com/post/694749

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