How do I remain feminine around other women, especially attractive and or feminine ones?

I’m very feminine around my husband and to some degree around other men (particularly older ones), but I struggle to remain feminine around other women. By that I mean, exude feminine energy, have a presence, be light and girly. In fact, I would say I shrink, I “clog up”. I feel less-than and can even sometimes self-erase. It’s like bad internal hardwiring.

While I know this is due to issues with my fucked up childhood and toxic friendships with two girls in particular, I still struggle with changing this disgusting natural reaction inside of me. Logically, I get it, like 100%, but internally it’s like my brain starts misfiring and I start shutting down (often unconsciously).

Even though I could go on and on and on about this subject (i.e. childhood details, feelings, examples), I think this is enough to get the conversation started. At least I hope so...

Can anyone relate? And what are some ways that have helped you to overcome this issue?