For those of you who are married to HVM, what did you have to compromise?

jayda92 · 2020-06-22T08:33:23+00:00

He is actively shopping for rings. Don't know if that counts yet?

I always said I'd never date a bald man. But this man has a face for it, a very strong jaw line and he was bald early in life. I recently saw a pic with hair and it didn't turn me on. He looks younger by not hiding his baldness.

Also; he is divorced (no kids). I had huge problems with it at first. But I realized; this guy showed that he wanted commitment and a future with the ex. She cheated on him (he speaks positively of her, nonetheless, except for the cheating). So I could leave it be.

circescircus · 2020-06-22T13:04:51+00:00

I didn't have to compromise on anything related to personality, habits, goals or values. We have shared values and goals, compatible personalities, we enjoy each other's company and are kind and courteous to each other.

We would compromise for travel plans, eating out, what movie to watch, little things like that. We never compromised on core values or goals, we never tried to change each other or expected the other person to magically change later in the relationship. We accept each other and appreciate one another.

As far as his behaviors... he does little things sometimes that annoy me (like not taking off his shoes when he is in the house) and I do little things that annoy him, like drink half of a water bottle and leave half filled water bottles everywhere.

terribletimingtoday · 2020-06-22T08:20:31+00:00

[deleted]

masterofthebarkarts · 2020-06-22T14:20:48+00:00

Married for a year: I had to compromise a bit on lifestyle, as I'm more outgoing and he's more of a homebody. That means that I either go out less (with him), go out by myself, or go out with friends. I honestly don't mind, but if I could flip a switch and turn him into a man who wanted to go to concerts with me, I probably would. However, it's important not to confuse an activity partner for a life partner; I've dated outgoing, sociable men in the past who made me miserable in the long run because we ultimately didn't have the same long-term values and goals.

I've also compromised a bit on tidiness - my husband's family is extremely untidy and it's taken my husband a while to stop leaving things everywhere, because in his family that's totally fine. I don't mind as much because he doesn't act entitled about it; he doesn't expect me or anyone to clean up after him, and he has made strides to improve his generally housekeeping because he knows that it bothers me. He also doesn't expect me to tell him what to do - he's not one of those "if you want help just ask" guys. He'll just...start tidying/cleaning if he notices that things have gotten messy (usually).

hongkonghenry · 2020-06-22T18:19:34+00:00

My husband of 8 years has is a bit obsessive about things around the house. He 'wastes' my time by asking to watch a movie at 7pm, for example, but we won't actually start the movie until 7:45 because every time he enters a room he finds a small task that he has to complete before he can relax.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-06-22T17:43:23+00:00

Not me, but a woman I know.

The husband was a saint. They had a decent marriage. Strong supporter, took care of his kids, and was an overall lovely man.

But his mom had dementia and was racist. He was torn between constantly having to interfere between his mom and wife. But he had no other option if he didn't want his mom to die in a home.

As a wife, she had to put up with his racist mother as she was dying for a couple years. And because she had dementia, and a few other things, she couldn't reasonably ask for his mother to leave the home.

It was a strain on their marriage but they survived it.

Title	For those of you who are married to HVM, what did you have to compromise?
Author	OrchidLion
Upvotes	41
Comments	10
Date	June 21, 2020 8:17 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hd39up/for_those_of_you_who_are_married_to_hvm_what_did/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/for-those-of-you-who-are-married-to-hvm-what-did.701922 https://theredarchive.com/post/701922

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