Sort of a boner “problem”

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July 7, 2020

25 yo. I’ve been doing nofap. No porn. No gf or fwb. I workout 4-5 times a week. Might be tmi but looking for advice.

I don’t have any problems with my D but today alone I’ve had over 10 boners. Some boners rage on for over an hour.

I don’t think it’s a problem but the horniness levels are crazy and difficult to keep it on the low. Last night I randomly woke up at 1am and couldn’t fall asleep for over an hour waiting for my boner to go away so I took some Advil pm to fall asleep.

My mind is not consumed with naked women, I’m just working and hitting the gym.

Any advice on how to deal with this energy in a clean way? How did Paul deal with it?

Post Information
Title Sort of a boner “problem”
Author agoodcrayon
Upvotes 10
Comments 14
Date 07 July 2020 06:04 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit askRPC
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[–]OsmiumZulu10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy

" is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9

[–]redwall929 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Better marry that to burn is a great thing to hear ... but make sure you're not looking to a woman to make your life bearable.

The "problem" OP is dealing with is the same problem many beta guys here have to deal with while a warm body (that they're not allowed to touch) is sleeping in bed next to them.

And to OP ... 25 with no prospects? Well, if you're not looking then just learn to live to deal with this "problem." And be happy it's a "problem" for you.

On the "blow 30k for a wedding" bit .... WTF?! Why would you blow 30k on a wedding?

[–]agoodcrayon[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don’t have any prospects worthy of that commitment lol. Also, don’t wanna blow 30k for a wedding.

Guess I gotta pray for a good helpmate and be proactively searching.

[–]Fantasiadreamcicle9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anyone who wants you to blow 30k on a wedding is crazy and will have many other issues coming. My wedding was 8k and only because my mom was making most decisions. If I were to two it all over again I would have budgeted a grand a most and made it freaking work.

[–]pandora_box-1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

$30k on a wedding is insane. If you’re wanting a nice wedding, you can probably get away with $15k & for a decent wedding $10k. That’s if you’re trying to go the whole almost all the bells and whistles in a wedding route.

Met my husband at a college group church event. We got married 2 years ago & we spent $500 on our wedding (my dad paid for the catering though— my first cousin is a caterer & prepared the food at cost but idk how much it was). My dress was from the prom section (clearance) so was $50 — no one could tell it was not a true wedding dress. I spent $60 on nails and did my own hair and makeup. He wore a suit he’d gotten back when he first started interviewing for jobs right out fo college. We got married in my parents back yard (so no venue costs). We didn’t go on a honeymoon, just had a staycation. Instead, we put the money we had towards a down payment on house which we bought 2-3 months after getting married. To me, owning a house was more important than an extravagant wedding and honeymoon.

[–]agoodcrayon[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’d like to have a nice wedding and I have a large family. I’ve got enough saved up for a house so no issues there.

Idk where you live but where I’m at, a 20-30k wedding is the norm. Of course, I could do what you did and save a lot as well. Not many girls willing to go that route though.

[–]pandora_box-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To be honest, most of my life I saw myself doing a huge expensive wedding. Then I fell in love & just wanted what’s best for us and to build a life together. Part of that, was realizing the financially responsible thing was to not have an expensive wedding. It was actually my idea to go the inexpensive wedding route when we started discussing finances & I realized that we could buy a house if we skimped on the wedding. My husband was shocked but pleasantly surprised at that suggestion.

2 years into marriage, we’re debt free other than our home & on track to have the home paid off in under 10 years. We have normal salaries but we’ll likely be millionaires by the time we’re in our 40s based on current projections. It’s the tortoise that wins the race in wealth building.

[–]Deep_Strength4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you're tempted take off the old and put on the new (Eph 4). New = mission for Christ.

From the OYS posts lots of stuff you can be doing:

  • PHYSICAL: How are you doing with lifting? Losing weight? Where's your body fat %? What have you been eating lately? How about your porn/alcohol/drug/cigarette/whatever use? Are you employing kino on your wife properly? Are you going too far with your girlfriend? How's your fashion sense? Are you still lounging around the house in gym shorts and using your ratty flip flops when you go out? How are you spending your time? How's your income doing? Your body is God's temple: are you reflecting that appropriately? For married men: how's your sex life?

  • MENTAL/EMOTIONAL: How have you been doing reading and learning new things? How's your frame? Do you still struggle with living up to someone else's expectations? Have you mastered Agree & Amplify? Amused Mastery? Negative Inquiry? STFU? Your DNGAF attitude? Are you failing fitness or comfort tests? How are you leading your wife/girlfriend this week? Do you feel pressure from any sources to do something or to act/not act a certain way? Are you depressed or lonely? Are you secure in your heart/mind that God's will is good, even if it's not what you want?

  • SPIRITUAL: How are you doing on the 7 basics? Rank yourself: Assurance of Salvation, Quiet Time/Devotional, Bible Study, Scripture Memory, Prayer, Evangelism, Fellowship. Have you solidified your mission - and does it have eternal consequences or does it only affect this world? Does your mission extend beyond the home? Do you have someone discipling you? Are you discipling anyone else? Have you talked with your non-Christian friends about Christ recently? Are there parts of the Bible you're just not understanding? How are things going with your church or small group?

[–]Aaaquad2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

You've got to cultivate that BDE - taking all of that energy and channeling it into different outlets. It's great you are on NoFap and not really fantasizing, but it seems like you only have a couple of outlets and you might want to start thinking about expanding to more than just working and hitting the gym.

What other hobbies do you have? Any thing that stand out in Prax's hobby post a while back? This can subvert and use up some of that excess energy that you have. Try doing something with your hands or body.

I've also noticed that this type of energy can constructively be used in social settings. How many people are you meeting regularly? This is a great opportunity to use this motivation to go out and meet people. You probably are more charismatic right now which helps.

The no sleep kinda sucks. Just recognize you aren't sleeping, don't get too upset about it and go do something productive with your time. I'm always reminded of the Psalms which talk about him waking up at night and using that opportunity to speak with the Lord or meditate on his words.

As a bonus read Think and Grow Rich's chapter on sexual transmutation. It talks about how people have dealt with all this excess energy you are talking about.

[–]agoodcrayon[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Normally, my weekdays are filled with work, gym, and car maintenance/repairs and the occasional hangout with the bros. My weekends, I go hiking or the beach amongst other activities and breweries where the babes are at. Sometimes we spark up convos but other times we just hang.

I appreciate your comment. I do have to utilize this energy properly. But I feel pretty frickin great and I’m excited for the future.

Just gotta tame the dragon without slaying it.

[–]UpTanks0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Are there many women in your friendship groups? Most of the relo's I know of stem from familiar connections (mutuals, groups etc) - rarely from cold approaches.

[–]agoodcrayon[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What are relos?

I don’t actively go to grocery stores nor other places “hunting” for chicks to talk to.

I’m usually just having a good time somewhere and if there are girls around I’ll banter with them. Sometimes they’re responsive sometimes not.

Majority of the time, things happen naturally or the girls approach me/my friends. I’ll be honest tho, I banter with them for practice, other than that I disqualify them within 5 minutes of talking if I’m not attracted to them or if they’re super liberal.

5 minutes is enough time for me to figure out the type of woman they are. I’ve got standards and if they’re below that then I have no desire to pursue anything further.

Majority of the girls are hoes even the “Christian” ones where I’m at. A bunch of blue pilled guys allow them to be this way.

[–]UpTanks1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Relo's = relationships

Yeah sounds like you got it, I would just add that there is still leadership from the man required. As in, you should give more time for women to fall into your frame/ follow.

It takes longer than 5 mins bro hahah. Going around enquiring about politics/religion/sexual history etc is how to stay single. Let them get to know you, and once a connection is made in your frame on your terms - you can begin molding her.

You probably already know this so apologies for that, but yeah I fell into a similar spot of nexting everyone immedietly and missed some opportunities. God bless

[–]agoodcrayon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What I mean is the way they put themselves out there let’s me know whether they’re thots or not. That takes 5 minutes. Many women are overt about their lifestyle these days.

But yeah I know what you’re saying.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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